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Is primary school more demanding than in the 80/90s??

147 replies

RessicaJabbit · 04/11/2025 08:05

My child is 6 and is UTTERLY EXHAUSTED from school since starting Reception.
My mum says she doesn't remember us 3 being like this after school... hungry, tired overwhelmed etc
Is it because school is more intense? Or maybe life around it is the cause, kids doing too many clubs etc?

My does football, swimming and rainbows.

OP posts:
Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:39

Bringemout · 05/11/2025 04:37

It’s interesting you say that my Dd’s teacher at nursery was convinced that my DD was a highly sensitive person. She still can’t tolerate too much noise and she’s watchful before she engages. But honestly we just ploughed straight ahead. The world is not going to accommodate her, she will have to make a DD shape in the world. Life is hard, I don’t think we do our kids any favours by making things easier and easier for them and then we act surprised when they can’t cope later. Applying a little pressure is good, too much pressure can make a person collapse.

Honestly I think we should be helping our kids reach expectations rather than asking they are lowered so it’s easier for them to achieve.

It's not useful for a 6 year old to start learning the timestables, for an 8 year old to know the whole 12 x 12 table (this is done in 2014 curriculum 2 years younger and up to 12 which is more than before,) yo be doing decimals at 8 or algebra at 10, or for a 4 year old to work on letter formation nd sentences when they can barely put on a coat.
It is perhaps more appropriate for a kid who is nearly a year older/autumn born but hardly necessary.
And stop calling your autumn born children "outliers" , they are a year older than some of the cohort and had an extra year of preschool education. Everybody understands that but their parents. They are older, not more special, usually.

BananaPeels · 05/11/2025 07:45

Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:39

It's not useful for a 6 year old to start learning the timestables, for an 8 year old to know the whole 12 x 12 table (this is done in 2014 curriculum 2 years younger and up to 12 which is more than before,) yo be doing decimals at 8 or algebra at 10, or for a 4 year old to work on letter formation nd sentences when they can barely put on a coat.
It is perhaps more appropriate for a kid who is nearly a year older/autumn born but hardly necessary.
And stop calling your autumn born children "outliers" , they are a year older than some of the cohort and had an extra year of preschool education. Everybody understands that but their parents. They are older, not more special, usually.

Why not? The children start young and it is gradual build up. My kids didn’t struggle at all with any of this. (Both are summer born).

Mirroronthefloor · 05/11/2025 07:46

poetrybreak · 04/11/2025 22:29

I see a huge difference between my 19year old and my 6year old. I also think the high pressure is the cause of ND children not coping, previously they coped and didn’t need/get diagnosis as things were more relaxed.

Really? Because I’m 24 and my child is 8 and it doesn’t seem to have changed massively other than more use of the computers. He comes home bursting with energy even when he was in reception I think a child coming home with the exhaustion described in the op should go to the doctors in all honesty

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Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:47

Bringemout · 04/11/2025 19:27

Her kids sounds like mine, it’s not because she’s just a September child, mines also on yr4 reading. She’s just an outlier in this respect. I do think age makes a difference though. Most of the kids on my DD’s ability table are born in autumn winter but they are doing stretch work so ability level is catered for at Dd’s school.

Don't embarass yourself. A summer born child doing that would be one.Yours is autum born and had a lot of support pushy parenting.

Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:54

BananaPeels · 05/11/2025 07:45

Why not? The children start young and it is gradual build up. My kids didn’t struggle at all with any of this. (Both are summer born).

Because they are not ready. If children were born with the same capabilities as adults or older children, they wouldn't be children.

You are a perfect example of someone not understanding child development. Highly doubt that about your statement.

You are probably someone who hates all play and toys too as what's the point in them when they can just be learning times tables at 6 and be educated by screens.

Manthide · 05/11/2025 08:01

I didn't send my elder 2 daughters to school until year 1 (we had been living abroad so dd1 started there). Neither could read - dd1 was autumn born so almost 6 - as they hadn't shown any interest and were too busy playing. This was in the late 90s. They really enjoyed primary school as they still had toys in the classroom, both went to Cambridge and are doing well in their respective careers. I think school is too pressurised now. Dd3 is in y13 and it's just constant pressure!

boobot1 · 05/11/2025 08:01

VikaOlson · 04/11/2025 08:07

The curriculum is massive now, standards/expectations are much higher and play, music and art are squeezed out.
I remember infant school involving a lot of junk modelling and playing in the home corner. Now it's mostly sitting at desks.

Standards are definately NOT higher

BananaPeels · 05/11/2025 08:04

boobot1 · 05/11/2025 08:01

Standards are definately NOT higher

What makes you think that? The things my children have done have been much more difficult than I did at school. I was amazed at primary school the level they were working to and the GcSE’s were not a walk in the park!

BananaPeels · 05/11/2025 08:08

Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:54

Because they are not ready. If children were born with the same capabilities as adults or older children, they wouldn't be children.

You are a perfect example of someone not understanding child development. Highly doubt that about your statement.

You are probably someone who hates all play and toys too as what's the point in them when they can just be learning times tables at 6 and be educated by screens.

Who are you to say they weren’t ready? The primary school they went to had a good mix of work and play. They were happy and enjoyed it. They are happy and easy going teens with 8/9s at GCSE. They thrived in an academic environment.

Bringemout · 05/11/2025 08:14

ThankYouNigel · 05/11/2025 07:16

I kind of agree, but this can be achieved in an understanding way. There is nothing wrong, for example, with allowing a HSP more time to watch and to join in at their own pace, showing them some grace and patience. Or letting them know they can take themselves off to a quiet space either at school/home/during a social event for a short time to help manage their feelings of being overstimulated. Their nervous system is different, so you can’t force them as they can’t control that.

I had a friend at secondary school who understood my initial reluctance to attend a sleepover. She cheerfully kept inviting me. I did really want to go, and she put me so at ease that I did eventually. Once I’d done it once I was fine and round hers all the time! We are still friends almost 30 years later. She’s definitely a non-HSP, but understands us for sure! It is much appreciated.

I don’t disagree with you at all, every child is an individual, we always let DD do social interactions at her own pace, she’s her own person after all! I worry that some parents try to clear a path or change stuff to suit their child rather than thinking about how to help their child move forward iyswim. I’ve never ever in any way communicated to my DD that something is just too hard for her. We always say we don’t know how to do something yet (thank you Gabby’s Dollhouse).

Peridoteage · 05/11/2025 08:15

My kids primary school experience has been very similar to my own. It wasn't all free play when i was in reception, i remember sitting at tables doing writing & being taken to watch videos of the "magic pen" for letter formation. The focus was definitely on learning to read.

If anything I would say my kids did more "play" type activities than I did. I think kids used to be better at sitting and focussing on a task, these days half the class are hyper.

Peridoteage · 05/11/2025 08:18

Oh and both my children were absolutely ready for school, even the august born. They love reading and maths, they both knew all the letter sounds before they started school & lots of the kids in their classes did.

Bringemout · 05/11/2025 08:21

Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:47

Don't embarass yourself. A summer born child doing that would be one.Yours is autum born and had a lot of support pushy parenting.

Her school considers her one, I’m sorry you are struggling with whatever you are struggling with but your insistance that children simply cannot do stuff is just wrong. There are differences in ability, it’s not just the point in the year they are born.

Theres a child on my DD’s ability table that is summer born, bi-lingual, didn’t speak a word of english 2 years ago and probably not far behind DD.

Also Dd spends most of her spare time doing sport, we just do school reading at home and whatever work her teachers send home. So no, not pushy parenting here.

ishimbob · 05/11/2025 08:24

Obviously schools vary but the primary I was at in the 80s was a lot less play focussed and understanding as an environment than the primary my kids go to.

My earliest memory is being told I couldn't go to the toilet until lunchtime - I was summer born so just turned 4 - and wetting myself, attempting to pass it off as a water spill.

I also remember being criticised constantly for how we sat and absolutely endless handwriting practice/times tables/other rote learning. I think a lot more effort is made in my kids school to make learning fun

Bringemout · 05/11/2025 08:32

Fiftyseven · 05/11/2025 07:54

Because they are not ready. If children were born with the same capabilities as adults or older children, they wouldn't be children.

You are a perfect example of someone not understanding child development. Highly doubt that about your statement.

You are probably someone who hates all play and toys too as what's the point in them when they can just be learning times tables at 6 and be educated by screens.

Babies can recognise numbers, what kind of child development are you talking about? I find it really strange you think a childs brain can’t handle basic maths because they are doing so, there are parents on here saying their children were happy at primary and did fine with the curriculum as it is, including parents of summer born kids.

Thequeenandthesoldier · 05/11/2025 08:36

TheNightingalesStarling · 04/11/2025 08:11

I remember school as the opposite... sitting down at desks all the time, lunchtime and break time running around, special treat being the TV on wheels for Look, Learn, Read. We were ready for the walk home (hardly anyone drove).
And once home... maybe one club a week. Otherwise just at home, in the garden etc.

On
Omg yes! The huge TV being rumbled into the hall.

I remember thinking even then this was a bit young for us.

ThankYouNigel · 05/11/2025 08:50

Bringemout · 05/11/2025 08:14

I don’t disagree with you at all, every child is an individual, we always let DD do social interactions at her own pace, she’s her own person after all! I worry that some parents try to clear a path or change stuff to suit their child rather than thinking about how to help their child move forward iyswim. I’ve never ever in any way communicated to my DD that something is just too hard for her. We always say we don’t know how to do something yet (thank you Gabby’s Dollhouse).

I do agree. For example, I found the transition to secondary school extremely hard. I was trying to stop myself crying for 4-5 months every day and barely sleeping, I could easily do the work and nobody was unkind to me, it just took a while for me to adjust to a new environment, I was very emotionally attached to my primary school.

However, despite how hard I found it, I do think it was right my mum expected me to attend every day, as I did then return to ‘normal’. Avoiding things entirely does decrease resilience I think. My school helped by pairing me up with a new child (the one I’m still friends with ☺️), which did help build my esteem and confidence. Schools can definitely help with this. I believe HSPs want to get there and can get there 😊

NPPUHinged · 06/11/2025 06:22

RessicaJabbit · 04/11/2025 08:05

My child is 6 and is UTTERLY EXHAUSTED from school since starting Reception.
My mum says she doesn't remember us 3 being like this after school... hungry, tired overwhelmed etc
Is it because school is more intense? Or maybe life around it is the cause, kids doing too many clubs etc?

My does football, swimming and rainbows.

Don't get me started on this one!

DC no longer goes to any clubs outside of school, but does do two a week at school - mainly to help with childcare due to work patterns.

The education system blows my mind. Why has everything become so complicated. Simple learning, such as spelling has become complex!

When I was at primary school (tail end of 80s and early 90s) we had a tin of laminated words to take home and learn. Now my child comes home with word maths!

flexischoolingUK · 07/11/2025 12:15

Yes, it’s more demanding, not to mention that school starting age has sneakily been lowered over the years.

Compulsory school age is still the term after they are 5, but all pupils now start when they’re 4. The concept of ‘rising 5s’ went out of the window.

I did some research recently about the history of phonics/teaching of early reading, and early years education. I thought some might be interested in what I found out, it certainly surprised me as an ex teacher!

It’s so normalised that children start school at age 4 and must be taught daily synthetic phonics, but this is a relatively new construct.

So here’s what I discovered:

Compulsory school age has been the same since 1944, but there have been shifts in curriculum expectations and starting school age.

The National Curriculum was only introduced in the 1988 Education Act, and a curriculum for under 5s was only introduced in 2000! 😱Prior to this, there was no national consistency.

The current synthetic phonics teaching of early reading was only introduced in 2007, following the 2006 Rose Review, prior to this the National Literacy Strategy (1998-2006) had some phonics, mixed in with other reading strategies, but this was not consistently implemented in Reception, the teaching was brought in gradually so that by the end of the year, Reception children (4-5 year olds) were doing the full literacy hour, in readiness for Year 1.

Before 1998, there was no formally taught teaching of reading for a Reception aged children. Reception year was very much based on the ethos of the 1967 Plowden Report, learning through play to develop ‘reading readiness’. The teaching of reading before 1998 was largely using the ‘look and say’ method, learning whole words by sight, rather than phonics to decode.

Deferred entry to school was a lot more common historically, when starting school in January was an officially advertised option.
As the teaching in Reception has become more formal, with daily sequential phonics lessons starting from September, publicised January intake has been stopped, as it is felt facilitating deferred entry puts pupils at a disadvantage. Now many parents aren’t aware of the rules around compulsory school age.

So yes, early school education is more formal and starts earlier. In my opinion, it is not always developmentally appropriate.

MyMummyTeacher has launched a petition asking for learning through play to be included in the Year 1 and 2 curriculum, as many other countries do not begin formal learning until age 6 or 7! That’s not to say there would be no teaching, but many 5 year olds often struggle starting Year 1 as they lose learning autonomy and freedom of movement. This is the time a lot of emotional and behavioural issues can ramp up.

Manthide · 07/11/2025 15:24

@flexischoolingUK dd1 started school abroad the term she turned 6 (1997) and dd2 started school in UK the term after she was 5 in September 1998. Neither had expressed any desire to learn to read by that age but both knew letter sounds, could write their name and very basic numbers. The school had one and a half forms for each year with dc placed in any of the 3 classrooms in their keystage depending on ability. By Easter 1999 dd2 was in the year 2 class for maths and English (with dd1) so neither had been held back. Both went to Cambridge.

NPPUHinged · 08/11/2025 10:37

flexischoolingUK · 07/11/2025 12:15

Yes, it’s more demanding, not to mention that school starting age has sneakily been lowered over the years.

Compulsory school age is still the term after they are 5, but all pupils now start when they’re 4. The concept of ‘rising 5s’ went out of the window.

I did some research recently about the history of phonics/teaching of early reading, and early years education. I thought some might be interested in what I found out, it certainly surprised me as an ex teacher!

It’s so normalised that children start school at age 4 and must be taught daily synthetic phonics, but this is a relatively new construct.

So here’s what I discovered:

Compulsory school age has been the same since 1944, but there have been shifts in curriculum expectations and starting school age.

The National Curriculum was only introduced in the 1988 Education Act, and a curriculum for under 5s was only introduced in 2000! 😱Prior to this, there was no national consistency.

The current synthetic phonics teaching of early reading was only introduced in 2007, following the 2006 Rose Review, prior to this the National Literacy Strategy (1998-2006) had some phonics, mixed in with other reading strategies, but this was not consistently implemented in Reception, the teaching was brought in gradually so that by the end of the year, Reception children (4-5 year olds) were doing the full literacy hour, in readiness for Year 1.

Before 1998, there was no formally taught teaching of reading for a Reception aged children. Reception year was very much based on the ethos of the 1967 Plowden Report, learning through play to develop ‘reading readiness’. The teaching of reading before 1998 was largely using the ‘look and say’ method, learning whole words by sight, rather than phonics to decode.

Deferred entry to school was a lot more common historically, when starting school in January was an officially advertised option.
As the teaching in Reception has become more formal, with daily sequential phonics lessons starting from September, publicised January intake has been stopped, as it is felt facilitating deferred entry puts pupils at a disadvantage. Now many parents aren’t aware of the rules around compulsory school age.

So yes, early school education is more formal and starts earlier. In my opinion, it is not always developmentally appropriate.

MyMummyTeacher has launched a petition asking for learning through play to be included in the Year 1 and 2 curriculum, as many other countries do not begin formal learning until age 6 or 7! That’s not to say there would be no teaching, but many 5 year olds often struggle starting Year 1 as they lose learning autonomy and freedom of movement. This is the time a lot of emotional and behavioural issues can ramp up.

This is interesting.

I feel my DC would have benefited from the 'look and say' method. Since we've taken the emphasis off phonics while reading at home DCs reading has improved. What baffles me is that she can read a word, but will spell them as they sound (phonics) when writing.

Why are children decoding words?? It's doesn't have to be that deep!

Example of DCs homework;
baby - y + ies = babies. The breakdown was in columns with a word equation for an example. 🤯

In my world I'd teach DC;
Baby - one baby.
Babies - more than one baby.

It's singular and plural, not a bloody maths equation!!

Doone22 · 10/11/2025 06:46

RessicaJabbit · 04/11/2025 12:54

School is 8:45-3:15 -; she does reading in the morning

Then other stuff during the week is
Monday 6-7 football
Tuesday 4-4:30pm swimming lesson
Friday 4:30-5;30 Rainbows.

Then she's at home around this (by 3:30pm)and home all evening - pottering about playing with toys, maybe the playground etc
Homework activities get done at weekend, usually Sunday afternoon.

Bed and asleep by 8pm

Edited

sounds like far too much extra curricular activities during the week, its hard on them, they don't get naps in schooltime anymore which they generally did in the 60s and 70s: i only let my boy do 1 after school activity at that age (not counting weekends) and even at 16 he's only allowed 2 (and a late school finish on another day). its a good opportunity to help them decide their likes and dislikes, pick activities where they have a different friend circle, learn that no one can do everything all the time - people have to pick, my only other rule about this was you have to try something for a term at least, if i spent money on uniform then you have to do it for a year at least

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