Mid 50s contentment

[Roseshoe]

After coming through some really rough years full of family bereavements, family mental health issues, perimenopause and toxic job, I’ve reached a curiously calm place. It might not last, of course. But I have friends, a decent job, enough money, some hobbies, grown up children. I’m even sleeping well! Is this usual for mid-50s? Some of my friends seem distressed about ageing, but I’m just having a good time!

I’m early 50s & also having a good time! As you say - friends, decent job, enough money (more or less), some hobbies, sleeping well - and added to that, good health & my beloved cat.

I hope it’s not just the two of us.

Oh mate! Welcome to my world! And it just gets better. I’m sixty now and can’t believe how lovely and peaceful my life is!

Fuck knows, but I am envious. I am in the midst of years of turmoil and can’t see a future when I don’t feel like this. The constant knot in my stomach and gnawing dread that something terrible is going to happen. You are so lucky to be in a good place, enjoy it and I hope to be there too sooner rather than later.

Me too!
I’m 53,great marriage ,settled,sorted adult children,good friends and time for myself after decades of parenting.
dh and I are chilled and content and it’s wonderful.

Not just you - me too! DC happily doing their thing, recently retired, very compatible DH. Life is great!

I hesitated posting, because of course others will be struggling and I didn’t want to sound smug! I really hope there’s some light for you soon x

Oh that's good. Hope it continues.
I am 53, was doing very well last year but struggling a bit now.

I mainly struggle with not having enough friends and AI taking over jobs in my field..

Peri-menopause seems to come at the toughest point in life: the sandwich filling between your rebellious adolescent children and your increasingly frail elderly parents.

The other side of menopause is far more peaceful. It may still be tough, but at least you feel a bit more emotionally resilient.

I am also struggling with putting on weight no matter what I do.

This is great to read. I’m 50 and not there yet but your post has given me lots of hope. Thank you.

Missing adult children part but I'm with you!

60s are even better!

Sounds wonderful. i’m not in that place at the moment but hoping that’s what the future holds.

Its good that you recognise that you are in a good place.

You're eating too much.

I’m mid forties and I feel the exact same. Long may it continue as we learn life throws curve balls so I enjoy it while it lasts.

The post menopausal ‘don’t care what people think of me’ combined with some actual boundaries helps a lot. I was so sensitive and people-pleasing for decades and got trampled into the ground by less sensitive persons.
Gym membership also saved me- I’m not sporty, but love to go and play with all the equipment, get sweaty and have a swim.

No, I am not. And I don't eat UPF or sugar either. And I exercise a lot ( no car).
But let me not derail...

I'd love to get advice from the 50+ lot. Everything good for me (early 40s) with husband & kids, money, fitness (actually better), hobbies.

Only thing getting me down are peri mood swings and my corporate job (politics/job security).

My stomach is large - due I presume to past stress eating. But I’ve got the time and energy to sort it now. In the meantime I’m just wearing larger clothing.

I am hopeful that I am nearing this at last.

Have had the most dreadful 4 years. Both adult children leaving home and both parents passing away suddenly and the stress and upset of selling the family home. Couple that with the most hideous crippling perimenopause and my life has felt so out of control and overwhelming.

My DH and I sold our own house earlier this year to move closer to the sea with our dogs, and we have had two forward sales both fall through. We are now back with a new purchase and things are moving along again finally and we feel we are almost on the verge of life finally settling down for us. Its so close we can practically taste it.

Our adult DD's are settled and happy, we have good jobs, a decent amount of money, good savings, good pensions pots building and we are both feeling less overwhelmed. All we need to do now is move, which we hope will finally happen early next year.

We feel once we are moved that life will settle down for us again and we can just enjoy the house, enjoy being together and enjoy this stage of our lives.

Obviously no-one knows how long this period of things being settled for will last before the next life event pulls the rug out from under you. But we feel we are very much owed some time when we can just enjoy life and be happy.

Here's hoping it happens 😐

Yea 53 retired but feeling a bit anxious about how much money we have. But generally relaxed

Thanks for sharing this, OP

57, this is a brilliant stage of life for me and l am eternally grateful.

I’m a little bit older than you, but this is me too. Even better I’m now (early) retired. I think at some point your 50s can be the worst decade with menopause, elderly parents, bereavement, teenage DC. But at some point that does pass and life becomes much simpler and calm again . Plus freedoms return for you to focus on yourself again.

That feeling sounds like anxiety. I’d never experienced anxiety before and was explaining the feeling to a work colleague who pointed out that’s what anxiety feels like. That was one of my symptoms that went away literally overnight with HRT.