Mid 50s contentment

[Roseshoe]

After coming through some really rough years full of family bereavements, family mental health issues, perimenopause and toxic job, I’ve reached a curiously calm place. It might not last, of course. But I have friends, a decent job, enough money, some hobbies, grown up children. I’m even sleeping well! Is this usual for mid-50s? Some of my friends seem distressed about ageing, but I’m just having a good time!

Almost 54 and I feel the way you do, OP.

It feels precarious though. One parent left who's in decline, a partner who is older with some chronic health issues, my adult kids still finding their feet and one is a risk taker. And who knows if my own financial security and good health will last.

I actually try not to consider my current contentment too often, let alone voice it, lest I jinx it for myself. Enjoy yours!

Yes, that's how I was, really enjoying having new found freedom from parenting for hobbies and exercise, I had taken on a serious volunteering role that I love as well as enjoying work and hardly daring to acknowledge how happy I was and now it's all gone to shit with elderly parents and I know most people go through this but I am absolutely gutted that the contentment has been more or less wiped out overnight. I hope it will come back eventually and it's better to have had it for a few years than not at all, make the most of it everyone.

Mid-fifties, and in the throes of juggling the needs of frail / elderly parents & other relatives, alongside the needs of teens with SEN. It’s a perfect storm - and I feel very very low. Life feels like it is just about survival atm. Am on HRT.

If ever anyone asks, I currently advocate having your children earlier if possible (not having children mid-30s to early-40s like I did), just to stagger some of the caring responsibilities. I feel like I am failing everyone, at the same time.

So nice readng a positive post. Thank you for posting.

It’s great to hear ! And perhaps inspiring to those of us who are not in such a good place. It is possible to achieve.

@gottamoveon You shouldn't feel guilty at all. We all deserve happiness and after all you've been through you really deserve it. Hoping all your dreams come true.

This is me too.

Woken up today feeling terribly, terribly blue. On paper I am fortunate. IRL I feel so old, useless, past it this year. Last year I felt great.
Think I need to up my HRT. Which is another palaver.

Is anyone feeling content and zen in their 50s with no partner and no children and no family nearby? I need to know it's possible.

How do you define nearby? I don’t have or want partner & kids, & my nearest relations are about 40 miles away so we see each other every month or two.

Plenty of local friends though & I’m thoroughly content, couldn’t cope with living with anyone except my cat.

I too am envious.

I hope you all get there sooner or later! 💐. I’m not saying things are perfect, it’s just tranquil and I can’t remember ever having had a period in my life like it before.

My nearest relations are about 200 miles away!

I turned 50 this year and am the most content I have ever been. Kids are older teens/early 20’s and have passed the obnoxious stage - they are lovely company and I really enjoy them again now. I have a new job that I love and now don’t feel pulled between career and children, as a result I am progressing my career again and earning significantly more. I have brilliant friends that I love and can make time for. I give less of a shit about practically everything which is beyond liberating. I even love hanging out with DH again, and 10 years ago I was worried we might not survive as so many stresses on us (kids, money, no time together etc) I think getting my HRT right has been a big factor - but just naturally losing some of the parenting responsibilities has made me remember who I am and what I like. Keep the faith if you are still in the trenches!! I thought my 50s would be gloomy - had no idea I’d still feel young

I feel more content than ever

in single and have been for years, ds shall be leaving home in the next year or two which I’m sure I shall shed a lot of tears about but know I shall be absolutely fine

My dad has a much younger wife who looks after him, I shall not be caring for my mother no matter how much she tries to manipulate me

I very much enjoy my job. Worried about money but I’m just happy working, maybe seeing friends at the weekend and just pottering

I never feel like I am missing out, need to meet a partner, my only worry is ds (just normal parenting worries) and money/how long I shall have to work

it’s really nice to feel this way

I too am loving my 50’s, the best decade yet. The only fly in the ointment is worrying about my adult kids and elderly parents.

I used to worry about that with my DH too and actually we are fine and can manage to spend an evening together without talking about the DCs all the time (we talk about elderly parents all the time instead).

The elderly parents thing though, just aaargh. It feels very hard losing so much of my free time to it all now when I’d only just got out of the intense parenting years. But at least I did get a couple of years of the contentment everyone is talking about on this thread and can totally relate, hope it comes back again one day. Friends say it does. But I can’t see this stage getting any easier for a long time which is quite upsetting.