Have you ever found something belonging to your parents that made you see them in a different light?

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When I was a teen I found a sex toy in my mum’s drawer. I shouldn’t have been snooping.

It made me think of her differently, and I felt a bit weird about it for a bit.

I’m over it now, I think 🤔

Lol I have a sex swing harness attached to my ceiling kids think it's a place I hang my washing lol 😂

I read messages from my dad (after his death) saying he’d often been unfaithful to my mum. I didn’t think too much of him up to that point tbh but this was a low moment to be sure.

I didn't see them but before my Dad died, my Mum and him ceremoniously burned the letters they wrote to each other when he was overseas as they never wanted us to read them. Obviously, I would have LOVED to have read them but I'd have probably regretted it.

I remember rummaging to find our Xmas presents as a kid. I found a huge wooden dildo 😲

My late dad was a carpenter so I presume he made it. I believe mum wanted sex more than my dad, probably why it was made, to give him some peace. It wasn’t a happy marriage, mum was and still is a drama queen, poor man. It’s only since he’s passed that we get the full force, he shielded us from it for years 🥴

I was on holiday with my mum, stepdad and stepsister in a family room (2 double beds) When they thought we were asleep, I realised that my mum and stepdad decided to have sex when I heard the words ‘it just slips in like a snake doesn’t it’

Unpleasant memory unlocked 🤣

My dad died very suddenly after a short illness when I was late teens. He had been out of work for probably a decade at that point. He was “disabled” but I’m very comfortable admitting, he was simply work shy. He had no qualifications so could only really do skilled labour type jobs, but he was sort of fake aspirational middle class and he thought that sort of work was beneath him. Anyway, the point is that he didn’t work, wouldn’t work, hadn’t worked in years.

Cleaning out his house we discovered he had an entire room filled floor to ceiling with unopened rolls of wallpaper. And business cards made up as if he was a wallpaper-er (is that a word? a decorator but only one who does wallpapering). He could not have wallpapered a room to save his life. I have no idea what he was on about, but it definitely wasn’t doing any wallpapering. 😂 It made me realise that he was probably more mentally unstable than even I realised.

On top of that, he also had an entire basement filled with duplicates of presents he had bought me over the years. A horse mug I got for a birthday. The printer he bought me when I went to uni. It was bizarre. It was like walking through a shop of years of Christmases and birthdays. This I actually found quite endearing. I think he probably did it to feel close to me as expressing emotions was not really a skill he possessed. Still a bit weird though.

My mum died recently, clearing her house found diaries and notes criticising me, listing things I’d supposedly done.

I found other notes slagging off other family members and neighbours, but nothing to the extent there was about me. Page after page. Some was written in shorthand, so I perhaps fortunately couldn’t read it all. Nasty stuff and that’s my memory now.

When I was younger, I was often home alone during the school holidays. I would always find and secretly unwrap my Christmas presents in advance, then carefully rewrap them (it helped me cover the disappointment that I didn't get what I asked for).
There was also a box of beautiful cards - letters to my dad from his brother & wife, when he was away in the army (before & during WW2). They talked about his new wife - which wasn't my mum, as she would have been 14-15 at the time, and in Ireland. It fitted with the fact that my mum, a catholic, never took communion.
I wouldn't ask, no one said anything while my parents were alive, though I did check on Ancestry - other relatives had identified that he did marry just at the start of the war, but his wife had left him for someone else when he was captured in 1940 (& spent the rest of the war as a POW). Sad story, but at least he found happiness with my mum.

Yup. Joy of sex hardback book found under their bed when about 7 years old looking for Xmas presents 🤣

Explicit Love letters between my (married) mother and a very, very senior member of the Church of England (also married).

I don't have sex toys. Never saw the need.

Before he passed away my Dad made sure things were really well organised so I'm pretty sure he wanted me to find an envelope containing my late bro's school reports. My bro was a lot older than me. I do remember he had a motor bike when he was in the sixth form, I also remember lots of rows around that time. It was quite a surprise just how much he was flunking his O and A levels and how lucky he was to have made it to UCL. He didn't look back though and was very successful in life. It was my gentle Dad's way to fill in the family history for me, probably knowing I would remember raised voices and him being out of character.

A friend had much more of a shock re his Mum. He found out that she was a swinger making connections with strangers by letter in the 70s after her divorce and after he was at uni.

I have hands. But they dont work very well due to disability. Am I allowed sex toys or are disabled people not meant to enjoy sex ?

Think of the splinters! Oof.

Quite. It has become trendy, unfortunately, to normalise perversions by saying 'everyone has sex toys', 'everyone has threesomes', etc. etc.

In what way is using a vibrator a "perversion" ? That's really ridiculous

Spot on, it is not compulsory to normalise perversion.

Nobody's saying you're not allowed sex toys FGS.

People are just replying to the poster who insists that everyone has sex toys - because she's keen to show how much cooler she is than anyone who'd rather not peruse their late mother's butt plug collection.

Well, someone else has implied they are a perversion now ...
What a weird thread. Like an invasion of maiden aunts from a Jane Austen novel

I'm happy for people to have as many sex toys as they like! It's just that not everyone does.

Oh my god. I'm so sorry😥💐

What is wrong with calling a perversion a perversion? As long as it is legal, it is up to the person to decide what they do. It does not stop it being a perversion though.

Well, not my parents, my uncle. When he passed we had to clear his house. He had no partner or dc so we had to sort his estate. We found drugs in his house. Now, bear in mind we knew he was a drinker and heavy smokers. We didn’t expect to find drugs too. We just threw them in the bin.

Yes. My Dad died earlier this year. My Mum passed a few years ago. While clearing out my parents house I found letters that they wrote to each other while ‘courting’ What I hoped would be romantic letter between them (some were)
many of them were of my Dad pressuring my Mum to have sex with him. Him saying that it was wrong for her to make him wait like this when he had proved to her that he loved her. It was an
ongoing theme in his letters. It made me feel really uneasy and like I had seen a side to my Dad I didn’t like or recognise.

I know times and things were different back them but it made me feel weird.