Unable to cope with certain shops

[CharlesRydersMum]

Inspired by another thread.

I cannot cope with:

Sports Direct
Primark
M and S
John Lewis
Horrible yet massive school uniform so in our local town.

If I go into a supermarket (medium as a max, cannot manage Tesco Extra for example), I wear head phoned.

This is due to the noise level, too many people and usually no windows. The latter especially makes me very stressed and I have been known to give my teenagers the money and wait outside.

I can only go into town if it's first thing in the morning and we leave by 1030 at the latest.

I'm not ND. I don't have anxiety or claustrophobia, socially I have no difficulties. Just feels like total sensory overload to the extent that my 12 year old pointed out that I would not be able to manage X activity because of this.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Yes I have always been like this even as a child. For me it’s the lighting and lack of windows. I can manage them if going quickly in and out. I agree the shops you mention are the absolute worst, went in a Sports Direct just this week and had to walk straight out.

I don't mind shops at all, I actually prefer big supermarkets over small ones.
I wouldn't go to Primark or Sports Direct but it's because I'm not interested in buying anything there.

However what I can't deal with are street food markets. I hate the smells, the queue, the complicated menus, and then you have to eat in the street?!?
When I walk through Brick Lane and see loads of people queuing for whatever food and then eating sat on the kerb, I can't comprehend how they can enjoy that experience to the point that it's a touristic thing to do.

Likewise, unless you threaten me with violence, I will not set a foot in Camden town market.

I thought this was normal TBH.

There is ADHD,dyslexia, dsypraxia and various sensory processing quirks in my family though even members with with none of that just don't always like crowds or certain locations.

Somtimes it's noise, smells, lighting or crowd levels or poor behavior from others- last trip to local supermarket there was a woman with headphones on dragging a two wheelded shopping trolly wrong way round so it screeched several people apporahed her tos aks her to stop and have it the right way and she wouldn't - the other is people pushing you out the way epsailly if there a few of us so get to things yoru looking at that can get very wearing.

It does depend on who I'm with - DH tends to calm me - kids and IL and my parents can make everything so much worse at times - and how tired I am.

Primark it tends to be crowds and queues and sometimes the layout. Sport direct fine mainly as only go in with very specific purpose and will grab staff quicly to find. The works in our city was awful - improved with manager change with slightly less stuff crammed in - but one in next town huge shop is nice.

I am exactly the same OP. Noise, crowds, bright lights, over heated spaces windowless environments with no discernible exit- are all anathema and intolerable to me.

Like a PP I was dragged around the massive shopping centre by my mother as a small girl and I found it utterly terrifying. She never noticed so I just had to cope as best I could. Generally just stumbled along behind feeling faint and sick.

I found all this got a lot worse around my menopause. I was given a diagnosis of autism at the end of last year and was told it's not unusual for these symptoms to intensify at menopause.

Lockdown was heaven to me - working entirely from home, no crowds, noise, overheated offices or traffic. It was bliss. When that ended I noticed a significant deterioration in my ability to withstand sensory overload of any kind. There is no way now I could travel on a rush hour train for example. That's when I sought a diagnosis to help bolster my case for reasonable adjustments at work.

Online shopping is a godsend.

Solidarity to all.

For me it’s the lighting above all. The noise isn’t great but the lighting has got particularly bad lately- it might be partly menopause but I think it has more to do with LEDs and everything getting brighter.

Im lucky that I can go during the quiet shopping times, do you have them over there? Where lights are dimmed, music and announcements are turned off

I'm ND and can only cope in Lidl and a medium sized sainsburys near me. I can tolerate about 10 minutes of being in a b&m/home bargains type store as they're very big, noisy and chaotic feeling. I can manage in the independent horse and pet store. I don't go to any other shops. Fluorescent lighting renders me unable to see properly for some reason.

Apart from groceries and pet food I order mostly other things online. I don't do an online shop as Lidl don't deliver and I prefer their products to Sainsburys tbh.

My nemesis is the huge tesco in my area. The music, the type of people, the lighting, the size, the vibe of threat, ugly area, shoplifter druggy types hanging around and the static from all the man made fibre clothing 😱

I'm not autistic but I find Primark and TK Max difficult to cope with. I have only experienced this in the last 10 years or so, which has coincided with my physical health taking a nose dive,so I put it down to that.

Some years ago, my middle-aged son dropped in to a perfectly ordinary conversation that, as a family, we all have isms (some of us have more than others) and there was a collective exhalation of relief as we all recognised the truth. It has made relationships, shopping trips and holidays that much easier to negotiate and we all accept certain shops as total no-go zones - the GC have been known to worship friendship-group members who'll cross thresholds for them. To us, it's all perfectly normal to be like this.

I can’t do Costco, makes me anxious, no idea why it’s bizarre

I can’t stand Tiger or Sostrene Greene. They are designed like mini IKEAs. They both funnel you into a one way system which automatically makes me want to misbehave. Sostrene Greene is designed like a labyrinth so you can’t see out even though it has a large plate glass window. They both feel hassley and jostly even when there aren’t many customers.

I’m NT and confident - happy alone in a strange city on my own, use the Tube, never suffered from anxiety - so lucky.
I can’t bear Lush or Subway or anywhere that smells like either.
I won’t go into Sports Direct as I can’t find my way out again. Can do most other shops, including IKEA. I avoid Poundland, B&M and Home Bargains but could navigate them if I wanted to.

I’ll use an alternative to anywhere that has all self-serve tills.

I agree about cafés, i only buy coffee when I'm out if i can sit outside and it isn't raining.Also the music in shops is always terrible,and way too loud and don't get me started on xmas music. Most cafés are too warm, too crowded, and full of noisy people, shouting into their phones. Can't bear it. I used to like shopping, can't say i do anymore. I quite like charity shops, they are usually much better. I really don't understand why we have to have horrible loud music in every shop, especially when it's that nasty rap stuff, sleazy and tuneless.

Ugh, yes, The smell of Lush is vile, even just walking past the shop is nasty. I really hate Savers drug stores, the staff are always awful and rude, always huge queues at my local one, and there is rarely more than just one till open. And vile music.
Never go into Sports shops, dreadful places, horrible loud bad music, uninterested staff. TKMAXX & H & M both always have hardly any staff, huge queues at the checkout, rarely use either, life is short!

Lush. I like Lush products, and I am fine with the smell instore. But I can not handle the excited puppy type staff that pounce on you as soon as you go in.

I know what I want, and I want to just go in and get it. Leave me the fuck alone.