Unable to cope with certain shops

[CharlesRydersMum]

Inspired by another thread.

I cannot cope with:

Sports Direct
Primark
M and S
John Lewis
Horrible yet massive school uniform so in our local town.

If I go into a supermarket (medium as a max, cannot manage Tesco Extra for example), I wear head phoned.

This is due to the noise level, too many people and usually no windows. The latter especially makes me very stressed and I have been known to give my teenagers the money and wait outside.

I can only go into town if it's first thing in the morning and we leave by 1030 at the latest.

I'm not ND. I don't have anxiety or claustrophobia, socially I have no difficulties. Just feels like total sensory overload to the extent that my 12 year old pointed out that I would not be able to manage X activity because of this.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Yes this happens to me, I am ND though...
When did this start or has it always been this way?
Have you had your eyes and hearing checked recently?

I can’t stand crowds so pick my shopping times accordingly

I don’t have shops I boycott because any shop can be overcrowded and any shop can have an. Irrational floor layout that stresses me out and makes me walk out - I want to find what I am looking for not browse your entire collection

I have been increasingly noticing this. I think it is mainly due to the bright white led lighting in some supermarkets and lack of windows.

Your reaction is rather extreme. Are you sure there isn't a reason for this?
Can you go shopping at quieter times or shop online instead?

The only shop I really, genuinely can’t cope with is IKEA. I hate it; feels like I’m trapped in a maze!

How do you know you’re not neurodiverse?

I’m autistic and can’t cope with shopping either.

I feel the same with Primark and Sports Direct.

For me

Definitely got worse as I have got older. No problem with sight or hearing, though I do need to update my glasses.

Socially I'm very adept ( job requires vv high levels of tact and establishing good rapport with tricky people). I'm good at reading body language and facial expressions and am blessed with lots of friends.

I have bipolar and my CPN often said she thought I was on the spectrum and did a screening test with a view to referring for a formal one. I don't know the exact term but I scored into the range that would merit screening, but only just.

I chose not to continue with a possible diagnosis because I did not see the benefit.

I work from home and whilst I find social contact absolutely draining and need time to recuperate and be completely alone, I manage my own diary. I don't need any adjustments. I've airways just put this down to bring standard introvert.

YANBU it's definately getting worse. and more noisy. \i need some of those headphones.

So you’re likely to be on the spectrum then, which would explain it.

You mentioned it getting worse as you get older. I have definitely become a lot more sensitive to loud noises, crowds, too much sensory stuff as I have entered my 50s. I assume it’s related to menopause as I don’t have any other obvious signs of being ND.

I find shopping with other people stressful... including more than one of my teenagers. I was exhausted after a couple of hours with both my teens and my mother this week... its keeping track of everybody in busy places, plus all the other idiots, plus inaccurate signs...

This. From what you've written I would say you are 1000% ND

I'm surprised you go to the supermarket when online grocery shopping is so much easier.

I will admit to planning a visit to my local town like a military operation though. I will only use specific car parks, plan which route is shortest and will only go to the places I have to. I tend to save it all up (bank, hair etc) and do it all in one go every couple of months.

Yes, I feel the same. I think I have sensory processing disorder but have never been to anyone to get diagnosed. I have very sensitive hearing and find noise overwhelming. I can hear electrical items buzzing at night and have to go and turn them off. Bit of a poor choice of mine that I work in a school. I'm always turning off the overhead strip lights in my classroom and the buzzy speakers if I can. People always comment how quiet my classes are but its because I find the cacophony of kids fiddling with things so distracting. As a child I hated the feeling of so many clothes - waistbands, itchy fabrics, tights etc. When in labour I kept my eyes shut because I couldn't handle the pain if I had my eyes open. Hate any kind of sticky sensations on my skin. I find noisy spaces like supermarkets overwhelming. I have nice soft lighting at home and I can never get my head around people who sit with the 'big light' on in the evenings whilst watching tv, I can't concentrate or relax, it literally feels like it's boring into me. Same with smells although this has got better as I've got older. As a child l would quite literally retch if I smelt tar, petrol or cigar smoke.

As a child there were always a few shops that I hated. The worst one was a long, narrow clothes shop, with blue walls that got narrower as you went deeper in. I used to hide under the clothes racks. It didn't help that it was DM's favourite so she'd linger in there for what felt like forever.

I currently try to divert off to an Aldi in passing rather than my local one with its dingy grey lights, and being unable to see the chilled stock behind the reflections on the plastic doors. I'm off another supermarket since it was ruined "done up" in demoralising grey and stock looming high above the aisles. During the Walmart years, I avoided going deep into ASDA for similar reasons.

I find in person shopping easier than online though; so much easier to actually just see what's there than work out the options on a website and how it might translate to physical reality.

With clothes shops, I'd rather feel the clothes and try them on and buy what works than blind buy a load of ill-fitting junk, fail to post it back then have to donate to a charity shop months later feeling guilty about the wasted money.

I had an anxiety attack in IKEA once. The exit signs just kept taking me back to the same section (that wasn’t the exit).
I got a bit panicked and had to really calm myself down.

I don't have any condition or diagnosis but I've noted if I'm particularly stressed or tired or run down I get a sensory overload response. At difficult patches in my life when I'm exhausted it feels extreme. Usually noise or light that triggers it. Temperature is another issue, I get agitated after being around the refrigerators then hot and sweaty when packing up and it turns to feelings of panic. Now i make sure I have a coat or extra layer in the supermarket that I put on before I enter the cooler aisles and remove after, I probably look mad but it really helps me. I do this as habit now even if I'm in good form.

I do have anxiety and am ND ( HSP) I can measure my mental health by how much I struggle with escalators particularly the high ones in M and S and John Lewis. I don’t really eat out in restaurants either and avoid busy shopping areas in towns.

I can't handle Superdrug, it's boiling hot and they have this dreadful piercing Superdrug radio station that plays at full volume. However, I grin and bear it once in a while for the few bits I get from there.

You are my identical twin.

It’s the lighting for me in certain shops. I love sunlight but hate bright artificial light as opposed to natural light.

For me many shops are too hot, too busy and too 'indoors'. I'm outdoors a lot of the time and shops with no windows, huge halls where you can be miles from the door make me want to escape. Even worse is shops in a mall where you're in an indoors space that is actually in an indoors space ARGH!

Also can't bear it in department stores where you can hear the different music from various departments all clashing.

The very worst thing for me though is the abundance of everything. Rows of clothes in every size from 6 to 26 all in seven different colours, walls of tubs of celebrations and whole racks of tinsel. You just know loads of it won't be sold or will just end up in landfill within a few days, weeks or months. It's just so wasteful and baffling to me.

I can't cope with coffee shops. Baffles me how people choose to go there and it's seen as a nice, treaty experience.

Takes forever to queue up and get your order, deliberately confusing menu so you always end up paying more than you expected and full of people who Never Stop Talking.

Like a PP I prefer to shop for clothes in person but only ever go alone and only at quiet times. Even then shops seem to be too full of men who do not want to be there so they're standing in front of what I want to look at, on their phones so they have no awareness of their surroundings.

I was like this during an extremely stressful period, which culminated in a breakdown. I also get very disorientated in shopping centres, regardless of my stress level, and absolutely cannot stand IKEA stores. I feel scared the whole time I'm there, and now only buy their stuff online. It's a pity - the cute stuff in the basement of trivia is in-store only!

I agree it's not worth fretting over whether you're ND, OP. I know we mustn't say "a little bit autistic" but the truth is that all human experience is on a continuum. There isn't a single "normal" way to be, with sharp lines demarcating divergence. Each of us is a collection of traits. You get a diagnosis when your collection skews strongly in a particular way, it doesn't mean other people don't share traits with you.

Best to find self-soothing tactics as far as you can.