What’s your worst part of adulting?

[Outnumbered1983]

Mine is having to come up with meal ideas, I hate it! Having to think of what to eat/cook every single day until you die 😂

I wish….DH can’t cope with IT at all. For instance, he threw the mouse down on the desk, saying the stupid thing wasn’t working! I asked if he’d tried new batteries? It hadn’t occurred to him, that they need some sort of power to run! If anyone sorts the IT out in the house, it’s me!

As per OP, I am sick of food shopping (online), meal planning, taking into account various dietary requirements (like low fat for DH), and cooking! DH said something about cooking yesterday, when he’s gone. I told him, there won’t be any - it will be M & S ready meals all the way! (Meals on wheels here are £11.99 full price, unless arranged by Social Services as part of a care plan)

Food. Just got back from a holiday where we ate out every evening. It made life so much easier. After much discussion today, the teens have decided that chicken is acceptable tonight. We now need to decide how we eat the chicken… curry? Stir fry? Wrapped in bacon? Done differently for different family members? Who knows!

Buying and deciding/ Cooking meals and matching socks

Being responsible for the entire scheduling and organisation of 3 people, at least one of whom (the 15 year old) actively resents it, but can't seem to manage to do for it himself.

Example:

In July my mum gets in touch and asks if the DC want to visit (we're estranged, but I don't want to prevent the DC from seeing their grandparents if they want):

I ask the DC if they would like to go and visit Grandma and Grandad. They say yes, but after various messages back and forth we realise it can't be the summer holidays, it has to be half term. More messages, taking into consideration DS2 wants to be back for trick or treating here, we establish a time frame, I buy train tickets (which I have to schedule time to physically collect). More messages and discussion to establish exactly where in the busy station the DC will meet my DP. Remembering it's going to be DM's birthday, so getting the DC to choose her a present. Remembering to sort out DS2'S Halloween outfit and buy a pumpkin before they go, so it's ready for him to carve when they get back on Friday. Overseeing them packing (actually I haven't literally demanded to see every thing DS2 is putting in his bag, I have just asked him to tell me, which I know is a mistake but fuck it). Getting them to choose some snacks for the journey and remembering to have everything in for their sandwiches. Getting them to wrap Grandma's present.

None of this would they take the initiative to do themselves, even though DS1 is nearly 16. And now he's just had a go at me because he never gets to do anything with his mates (because he's useless at scheduling mainly, as are they), and it's all my fault because I made him go to Grandma's at half term, and actually he said he didn't want to go (he fucking didn't).

Now I've run out of energy to organise my own shit, because I've been so busy organising everybody else's.

Probably the lack of spontaneity. I have fond memories of being a teenager and just spending the days wandering around with friends without plans, without a care in the world. These days if I take my finger off the pulse for just one second, it will all fall like dominoes.

Other adults.

The breathing

The worst thing at the moment is being close to retirement and having to oversee the future implementation of a whole new super duper all-singing all-dancing software system at work. I am hating every minute of it.

Elderly care, bereavement, Power of Attorney admin, post death admin. And tbh, doing it all in a way that’s acceptable to siblings and cousins. At least the aunts aren’t in the picture any more, they were the worst of the lot. I’ve had 3 elders die in 10 months with the associated run-up of years of deterioration to each, plus two deathbed vigils for another (survived both).

Having said that, I am the sibling in one case, and I am angry that the person having to do it hasn’t got probate awarded yet, it was 6 months ago. Not that I’ve said anything.

Putting clean clothes away, I shouldn’t moan either as we do loads per human, so it doesn’t even need sorting once dry.

Dealing with nightmare phone companies, phone tech, WiFi admin, managing passwords and limiting DC screen time. Pure misery.

Having to take responsibility for my elderly parent, help her with stuff she should have been able to manage, provide the safety net for the fact that she was becoming immobile, persuade her to have some help at home, visit her in hospital after falls etc, persuade her to sell her house and move to a care home, organise the house sale, provide the emotional support, visit her in the care home, make her appointments, make decisions on her behalf, deal with her possessions after her passing, organise her funeral. All very big lessons in adulting which caring for children doesn't compare with.

The constant bombardment that Reform will save the day.
I try and avoid it as much as possible.

Driving. I hate it

Mine is working. Also feeling tired all of the time. The relentlessness of housework. Keeping on top of appointments and needing to be organised all of the time and remember everything. Never having enough time in the day to get everything done that I intend to do.

Work taking over. I'm off this week, but haven't had the capacity to complete some big tasks since I was last off, so it's basically clearing time to do those uninterrupted, not rest.

Yes I agree op on meals.
Trying to eat a balanced healthy diet and feed the DC decent food but stuff they will eat is exhausting and doesn't stop..

How I would love to get a meal out once a week and take away as well (we usually do takeaway ).

Same for work lunch.

Having to get up and be a wage slave.

I must be the only person who likes putting laundry away.

Pet hates:

-Finding a plumber
-Finding out the plumber when they eventually come can’t complete the job, because they never have the part they need. The part is invariably hard to track down, meaning I’m without a upstairs or downstairs sink for at least a week (small house)
-Driving, because of all the arseholes out there

Taking a shower. I really hate being wet and wet hair is awful. I also hate swimming.

Never ever being able to fine in from work and just relax. Or relax at the weekends. I adore my kids but it’s an endless round of cooking, cleaning, ferrying to clubs and entertaining the kids / stopping them from killing each other.

Same... and I am the only one that pays the bills. Once in a while I think how amazing it would be to share the load. And then I remember that the load comes with conditions! Anyway, not ready to look for Prince Charming Mk II just yet...

Being a parent. I fucking hate it.

Hugs to you 💛

None of the above, I’m fine with all the boring household / admin / cooking stuff - I just stick on a podcast or watch tv while ironing.

i think the bit I find hardest is that I thought things ie life would be / feel more ‘sorted’ and settled as an adult. I’m 53, and it still feels like nothing is settled in life, I can’t just relax into it because there’s some other bloody event / issue / problem coming round the corner that I need to be involved in. ATM DH is burnt out with work and feeling the after effects of an injury / operation that didn’t go well and he may never recover entirely so I’ve no idea what’s going to happen with him next. DS1 has started uni but is not really enjoying it and I’m worried he’s not doing enough work to pass his exams. DS2 is in high school, no idea what he wants to do with his life 🤷‍♀️. It just feels uncertain not knowing what happens next.

So yeah, I thought it would be different. Possibility it’s the same for everyone.