Tell me, is this a BF or a DP...

[DrearyDiary]

Or is there a better word?

We're both middle aged and BF seems ridiculous to me, but on occasion I've called him my "partner" and told that's wrong. The distinction seems to really matter to some people.

Been together 10 months, don't live together, highly unlikely to ever live together, but spend a lot of time together, see him more or less everyday, plan our diaries together, go on holiday together etc. Completely seperate homes and finances.

Boyfriend
Even though he is very much not a boy.
Partner suggests either long term (five years plus) or living together

That said, anyone who gets upset about how you choose to describe your own relationship needs to give their head a wobble!

Who's told you that 'partner' is wrong?

Definite boyfriend at this stage, very early days.

You can say what you want but partner implies something shared - a home, finances, children. Something. Several years of a relationship at least.

I would say ‘gentleman caller’ and fuck what anybody thinks 🤣

I couldn't get excited about how someone describes their relationship, but I think my head goes to longer than ten months when I think partner. I do think age has a lot to do with it and maybe if you have DC.
DS2 has been with his GF for five years and they live together. The difference there is they're only 21 and she lives in our home. They would never describe each other as partner.
Our other DS was with his GF for ten years when they got engaged, which is often seen as a sign of reluctance to commit on MN. Again they were teen sweethearts. They bought a home together at 23 and married at 28 (I sometimes fudge ages by a year or two so as not to be outing, although not today). They were GF, fiancée then DW. Neither DS had or has DC before marriage, maybe that would change my thinking, I doubt it though.

My ds and his gf have been together for 7 years. Both 25. Lived with me and called themselves bf and gf. Just bought a house together so will ask them if it will change now. They have both got each down as NOK interestingly enough and have for a few years now - think from when they went travelling together

I do think some people are very preoccupied with titles and see it as a hierarchy type thing e.g partner in a more committed than gf/bf - personally I don’t give a damn what the title is, it’s the behaviour that makes a relationship and not which box you tick on a form

Does it really matter how you define the relationship? It is what it is to you and as long as you’re both happy it matters not one jot what anyone else thinks !
Call him DP if you like. No one is qualified to tell you otherwise. They’re entitled to their opinions but that’s all it is.

It doesn't matter to me, except that I find it difficult to say "boyfriend" about a man approaching 50. Some people seem to really object to the use of partner for something other than a pseudo marriage arrangement, but I don't know what else there is.

It's your relationship, you define it how you like.

If he feels like a partner call him a partner.

Other people might choose to define things differently in their own relationships, but that doesn't mean they can tell you how to describe yours.

Man friend, My fella.

Brilliant 🤩. Can’t stand when other people feel they have any place whatsoever to even make a
comment. Who actually cares?. Call him what you want OP. I call mine my current husband

😂 didn’t Terry Wogan call his wife the current or first Mrs Wogan? 🤣
OP - just introduce him by name, nobodies business how you define your relationship. All this nonsense about after 5 years they are your partner etc is just that - nonsense. I would quite enjoy leaving people guessing 🤣

Well it doesn’t matter if they object. You can’t please everyone. Call it what you want to call it.

My DP is over 60. I called him “ boyfriend” initially but several years down the line he feels more like a partner.
We live apart and share nothing except each others company.
We refer to each other as “ partner” because it feels right not because of how others feel about our relationship.

If someone is so ridiculous that they could get annoyed by you saying partner then I would use partner even more. I would over use the word partner just to annoy that silly person. But I can be a twat like that 🙈

I tend to say 'my bloke', 'my fella', in informal settings!

Man you're walking out with

Definitely partner. No-one should be calling their partner 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' unless they're under 25. It sounds a bit infantalising.

Midnight caller, bed partner, holiday companion, dog Walker, sub - think of the fun you could have thinking up different titles to use in front of such ridiculous people.

I don’t know, but if it helps my dad used to describe the women he was in relationships with as “lady friends” and it gave me a brain vomit.

Pretty much anything other than that is, in my view, acceptable.

Boyfriend’s suggests he’s young enough for that, and partner suggests a partnership. Which isn’t the case either if you’ve not blended any aspect of your life together.
Ultimately call him what you want.
I do like gentlemen caller though, but short of that, probably your fella.

I wish there was another word. I’ve been with someone a fair while but definitely not going to live together in the foreseeable future, will never have kids together & unlikely to marry. I feel too old to call him my BF.

My dad calls my mum "the present Mrs Duck", they've been married over 50 years, there has never been another Mrs Duck and I very much doubt there ever will be.She just rolls her eyes at him.