Tell me, is this a BF or a DP...

[DrearyDiary]

Or is there a better word?

We're both middle aged and BF seems ridiculous to me, but on occasion I've called him my "partner" and told that's wrong. The distinction seems to really matter to some people.

Been together 10 months, don't live together, highly unlikely to ever live together, but spend a lot of time together, see him more or less everyday, plan our diaries together, go on holiday together etc. Completely seperate homes and finances.

Oh my god you have reminded me that is how my dad described any women he was dating! 😂
OP - next time you introduce him say ‘hello this is Bob, the gentleman I am currently stepping out with’ or ‘this is Bob, we are currently courting’ 😂

Genuine question - does there need to be a title? Why can’t you simply introduce someone with their name?

Fella must be regional? I don't think I've ever heard that word irl 🤣

When you're talking about your weekend? E.g. I went to xyz with James, my.....

I love ‘gentleman consort’

You could just say I went to xyz with James? Those close to you will know you are in a romantic relationship with him so it doesn’t need to be defined and those who aren’t close don’t need to know.

Do you want to describe him as your partner? If so just do it and do it proudly. Have to say I have been married and shared a house/dc and never felt we were proper partners yet another relationship I was in felt more like a partnership despite no shared dc and no shared finances.
You describe him however you want to and fuck what anybody else thinks. If people object then turn it round on them and ask them why it bothers them so much how you define a relationship that has no impact on them.

I find partner a bit cringe unless people are de facto married with children and /or property together.

But also boyfriend is a bit cringe too if you're older.

I think I'd say 'this is Bryan' (bonus points if his name isn't Bryan).

Lover.

I dislike the term ‘a bit cringe’ and think it shouldn’t be used by anyone over the age of 16 but I defend your right to use it and it is none of my business.

I'd call him " my guy" - admittedly rather reminiscent of Mary Wells.
And he should refer to you as his "lady"

I’d say partner or “that guy I’m seeing “
dh use to say “our lass” but that only works in Yorkshire

Call him whatever you want. Other people have no business telling you what is/isn’t correct when you’re referring to your own relationship.

In my experience (22 years into a relationship with a man to whom I’m not married), whatever you call the man in your life, someone will think it’s wrong/‘cringe’/inappropriate. I’ve been told that ‘boyfriend’ is wrong because we’re too old, ‘partner’ is wrong because it’s too ambiguous and/or too right-on, and ‘other half’ must mean I lack a sense of identity. Essentially, there’s always some miserable cunt out there who objects to any given term (as this thread demonstrates) so just go with whatever you feel comfortable with and ignore the opinions of others.

Thank you, I appreciate your defence of my usage of the phrase. I am over 16.

the Germans have (of course) a great word for it. Which i sometimes use to see if our friends are paying attention:

Lebensabschnittsgefährte

Literally means: my partner in this phase of my life :)

tbh i hate that word.

Just say "this is Justin", or "i went to Skegness with Justin" or "i've just had wild sex in a field with Justin" and if you feel the need to add something (practice not feeling this need) say "we're stepping out together". Or "we're FWB"

But mainly: just stop feeling the need to explain anything other than his name.

my current shag?

Love this! Almost makes me want to start dating again just so I can use it 🤣

Do you have shared interests that link you together such as a house, finances and suchlike? If not he’s a boyfriend. Partner means your lives are entwined.

it is funny reading posts from people who have a non serious relationship calling their fella their partner.

I'm in a similar situation but longer term (18months) and refer to him as my boyfriend but it feels wrong at our age!

i use it anyway... keeps DH on his toes.

Been with my fiance for 5 years, but called him partner after 6 months as I'm not 12 and we were in a committed relationship. Call him what you want and whatever anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

Call him whatever you want to and sod what anyone else thinks.
I still refer to my husband as my husband despite not having lived with him for 13 years and seldom see him - because that is what he is, my husband. I have also had boyfriends/partners since I split up with husband and find it funny people tying themselves up in knots if said boyfriend and husband come up in the same conversation 🤣 They are always dying to ask for details but I never elaborate- things are the way they are for very good reason and I don’t owe anybody an explanation.
All these silly rules that PP have stated like must be under 25 to be a boyfriend or can only be a partner if you share finances need to ask themselves why it bothers them that much. It’s all a nonsense. Yet it seems to be the way these days - are we dating? Are we exclusive? Are we official?
For me a partner is a feeling, an action that they are by my side in whatever capacity we have decided not based on what irrelevant people’s opinions are.

Just refer to him as your current lover and enjoy watching people’s reactions 🤣

How about 'My beau' or 'young man'

In that situation I'd probably phrase it as "the man who I have been dating, name" and then use his name after.