Christmas for older kids? Be honest x

[really14]

Hello.
I’ve got a 14 and 15 year old (girls)

and 2 little boys under 7. Boys believe in Santa and the magic etc.

my teenagers obviously don’t. They’ve always been spoiled at Xmas as much as I could but now I’m thinking… when does it end?? 16? 17? 18? It’s a joke really and I can’t afford to be doing it anymore.

so my question. What do you get and how much do you get for your teens for Xmas?????

may I add.. I make the Xmas effort but I think it’s a big rip off if I’m honest x

Just talk to the older kids. Surely they know that their gifts will be more expensive than so some plastic play bench? Split the budget equally. If all wished for presents are cheaper than the budget, then I would put the money towards that child's activities, school kit etc.

It’s not to do with the pile of presents, it’s what you can afford to spend. And teenagers are old enough to have this explained to them. So you have 4 DC and £400 to spend then that’s £100 each. You should be able to say to your teenagers that you have X amount to spend. They may prefer to have a stocking with a few cheap bits to unwrap and then cash so they can chose what to spend it on. If there are grandparents gifting, maybe they can also give cash. If anything I would probably spend a bit more on the teenagers and less on the younger children, given that that it’s easier to get things for younger DC cheaply or second hand.

The OP literally states she is alone after leaving an abusive relationship.

Well if you can afford it and your DC are happy to swap the present pile for the holiday, then good for you.

Your budget (not debt inducing) divide by 4

Mine are both now over 19 and they will be getting far less spent on them this year. It had got out of hand and as they are adults they will need to wear it. They will still get £300 or so spent on them each. But it will come as a big shock compared to years gone by. If I had more to spend then I would, but I don’t anymore so that’s that. I’m hoping they will be gracious but I’m expecting a few comments!

Mine are 27 ,26 ,25 and 16
I spend the same on all of them every year
The older ones are working and they still have the same spent on them .
If I have less money one year ,I spend less on relatives ,and less on Christmas food ,so the majority money goes to my children.
The other thing I do ,is I've massively cut down on the food I buy at Christmas .
So basically the Christmas food comes out on Christmas eve ,and is for the main three days ,unless it lasts further..but I don't replace it ,and we don't gorge ourselves through out December as I know some people do .
We also cut out all alcohol to save money to ..

I actually don’t think you need to split the budget equally 4 ways - I used to spend less on my younger DC as their presents were generally cheaper.

Single parent 4 kids here but now youngest 22 oldest 34. I have definitely been where you are. It is very difficult to meet the expectations of Xmas that is portrayed in the media on one income.
I always tried to get the main thing they wanted and have a big family so they got specific things that were asked for too. When things were tight I bought charity shop toys, now there is Vinted I would use that.
My older two always enjoyed the youngest having a lovely time.
I never really bought unnecessary stuff other than birthday and Xmas so anything was appreciated. When they stopped being students (last one in final year of uni now) the presents were greatly reduced. This year about £60 each,same for Dgd7.
We always see family and play silly games, and have our family traditions so that makes it a special time.
Everything is soooo expensive now I really can see how hard it be for you.💕

Growing up in tight times, we older dc asked for cheaper gifts to let the younger one have the more expensive gift from Santa that he had his little heart set on. It made me feel very much a part of the magic making.

My teens don’t have to consider younger ones, but they know there’s a budget and moderate their expectations accordingly.

Do you talk about finances generally with them? I’d open up the conversation, and see what their thoughts are.

Lots of us have been where you are op. I certainly am. One thing that has worked for me (not necessarily helpful for this year, I know) is a regular weekly amount into a savings pot in my bank account. I work out how much I want to spend on each child and then divide it up o er the year and do it that way. I have also had to have the convo about money being tight but spreading across the year and joining forces with family for more expensive presents for the older ones has been a good way to do it, for me.

Mine are older teens/young adults
I still spoil them, tbh I think when they hit teens presents get a lot more pricey!
I would divide your budget between all DC

I was a single mum to five. It was grim and I have since tried to make up for the awful Christmasses they had growing up. As soon as I started to have a bit more money I bought better presents and spent more on them than I ever had. They all still absolutely love Christmas (and they're all in their 20's/30's now!) and most of them come home for the day, but I spoil them rotten now because of all the years I couldn't do it when they were growing up.

I don’t think you do set a budget and divide by 4. I think you set a budget, divide by three and each of the teens has 1/3 and the remaining 1/3 is split between the younger two and you and your teens scour FB and other sites in the next few weeks for second hand versions of what they’d like. The younger ones will still have a much bigger pile than the teens.

Our budget has increased each year as teens tend to get more expensive not cheaper. But we don’t have more children, and don’t believe Christmas is just for children, so not looking to change or reduce what they’ve had any time soon. Our teens don’t believe in Father Christmas obviously, but they love Christmas, we have a great time.

Could you buy in outlets for the teens? Maybe offer them a budget and they can choose what they want. For next year buy in January sales for younger two.