Christmas for older kids? Be honest x

[really14]

Hello.
I’ve got a 14 and 15 year old (girls)

and 2 little boys under 7. Boys believe in Santa and the magic etc.

my teenagers obviously don’t. They’ve always been spoiled at Xmas as much as I could but now I’m thinking… when does it end?? 16? 17? 18? It’s a joke really and I can’t afford to be doing it anymore.

so my question. What do you get and how much do you get for your teens for Xmas?????

may I add.. I make the Xmas effort but I think it’s a big rip off if I’m honest x

You’ve all made my mind up for me. No presants this year. Booking a flight instead whilst everyone is in debt in rainy England and misserable and skint Boxing Day lol me and kids are looking at holidays now.

thanks x

You didn’t make it clear in your OP that you’re measuring it by ‘size of pile’. You talked about the expense, so people assumed you were measuring it by financial value.
Of course older kids have a smaller ‘pile’ overall, the things they like tend to be smaller and more expensive. No one is saying you should measure the presents and make sure the pile is the same size.

I think that you are conflating a lot of different money worries tbh. Christmas dinner can be a roast chicken, sausages, green veg roasties and gravy followed by a nice pudding like a vienetta. If you have the freezer space you can pick up items now to spread the load (eg I have a yellow stickered pack of chipolatas in the freezer already). You can usually pick up a CHristmas tree cheaply on Christmas eve when they are flogging them off - create a new tradition of a faily trip to buy one and decorate as a Christmas eve activity with hot chocolate. Again, places like poundland now have some Christmas stuff out so pick up something once a week to spread the cost. Think about cheap ways to decorate - eg making your own paper snowflakes or wrapping empty boxes to put on the tree etc. Then for presents tell the daughter asking for trainers that they are beyond budget if you need to. Offer her the money that you can afford as her 1/4 share of the budget and suggest she could then see if they are reduced i the January sales.

Father Christmas only brings a small ish stocking here and it is mainly filled with things they need - eg socks, pens and pencils, toiletries plus the odd treat like a net of gold coins. Maybe think about switching the tradition if you need to.

Fab! Enjoy! We’re having some winter sun too 🌞

I would spend the same on each of them. I think it would be really unfair otherwise.

You should spend a similar amount on all the kids but explain to the older ones that if they want the £120 trainers then that’s all that they are getting from you because that’s your budget. If they want a pile then they need to come up with cheaper stuff.I wouldn’t consider lowering the older kids budgets until they had jobs /left education.

Don’t forget that they should be getting a gift f on dad and other family too (assuming that you’re in contact)

Mine are 20 and 22. I gave them a choice and they chose to keep the advent calendars and stockings, they get a few small gifts totally approx £150, the stocking and advent are about £50 between them (homemade advent calendars I wish I never started with 😂)

4 kids is a lot to buy for on your own.
Split your budget into 4. Explain to the older ones thats the budget and to take cash if there isnt anythimg for that budget they want. My 13 year old wants cash this year anyway. Buy the older ones some toiletries to unwrap. My mum used to buy me a bunch of stuff like facewipes and nail varnish remover to unwrap at that age. All boots own brand. But will just add a little something to the christmas tree.
The little ones get as much as you can buy for the budget.

You can stop when you want, but given they are still not adults and live at home, it would be unfair not to treat them all in a similar manner. As money is tight you need to work out your budget and then decide how to allocate it between the four of them. That could be an equal amount, or you could get away with a little less on the younger ones and spend a little more on the teens as teens tend to be more expensive than younger ones. E.g. if you could only afford to buy them a jumper (or whatever) each, the cost of larger sizes for the teens would be more than the smaller ones for the younger ones. Teens are also more discerning than young children. But your budget is your budget and if money is really tight, you need to have a conversation with at least the older children and explain that things are very tight and there will not be much in the way of gifts this year for ALL of them.

When do you stop? Only you can decide on that, but it’s fairly normal to do what you can whilst they are legally not adults and/or living at home. Once they are adults and fully fledged you could cut back, do a secret santa between the over 18s/adults etc.

You can’t not get your girls gifts because they had loads when they were younger! There’s loads of bargains about, especially for the younger kids, my DC gets the majority of his presents from charity shops or Facebook. His favourite birthday present was brand new in the box but only cost £10 from Facebook as someone else had a duplicate gift. Make more effort and use your imagination, no one forced you to have four kids and you can’t just ignore the older ones now they don’t believe in Santa!

I would get them the same numbe number of gifts with a max amount of money but if you needed to cut back on costs I would spend less on the youngest.

Our kids get 4 to 5 gifts and a stock each.

Oh aye.

I feel like I'm going against the grain here but I don't think it necessarily has to be the same spend? Especially for younger kids where you get so much more for less money.

I would focus more on getting them some of the things they have asked for, if that's £120 trainers for one of the teens then I'd get those and probably some little cheaper bits to open, but I wouldn't purposely spent, say, £150 on each of the little ones just to match it if I could get them what they'd be happy with for £80 (or whatever).

But I see OP has found a solution anyway, enjoy your hols OP!

I'm a single mum too, and I've always bought my teen(17) what he needs and what he wants, not a set value.

This year he'll get some decent bike lights (£25) and some ASICS trainers (£65) because he needs both, a chocolate santa, a few fun bits & pieces, and maybe a new pair of cargo pants. £140 in total, and he'll be delighted.

In past years I've spent more because he needed a phone or a laptop.

With little ones it is easier to fill their Christmas with wonder without spending a lot. There is no need to spend the same amount. When they need a laptop, the older ones will be adults and will get less.

I'll keep buying my dcs presents for as long as I'm able because I enjoy it but I'm not going to beat myself up on cost.

So this was a troll post

If anything it would be the other way round, you can make a ‘big pile’ and some nice gifts for small kids with a much smaller budget. Money doesn’t go far for teens.

In answer to your question, we scaled back for DS when he left college and was working full time. He’s gets some nice gifts, he also buys us some nice gifts, same as adult DSC.

I have a 16 and a 23 year old and I budget £200 each. The 23 spends similar back on me so that’s nice.
The 16 year old needs to send me a list of what she wants and the 23 year old just lets me decide. Things like boxers, socks, chocolate, skin care that he likes, tops for the gym.

Cut down for everyone. A couple of meaningful presents each, within your budget and no 'bits'.

Why do people have more kids than they can afford. I’d be very resentful if I was your teenager. Christmas is mandated for believers, which means the oldest get nothing? Yes, I think same budget for all. What on earth are you giving a 7 year old anyway, plastic tat?

At 15 they are old enough to have an adult conversation with. Tell them what your budget is and ask them to decide what theyd prefer, the £150 trainers only or more smaller presents to the same equivalent. But they cant have both.

ETA: sorry about the sudden wonky font, no idea what happened there.

Well presumably the op didn't have four children by herself and there has been a change in circumstances?

Then the answer is you divide whatever money is available to spend by the number of kids you chose to have.

Yes, of course.

But that's an issue which is quite apart from the whole, 'why do people have more children than they can afford' heckling.

Some people can't seem to stop themselves. Check out the thread about the poster having an expensive candle stolen by an estate agent or potential buyers.

Yes, that thread is nuts, nothing like an unrelated tangent to get your virtuous teeth stuck into.