Christmas for older kids? Be honest x

[really14]

Hello.
I’ve got a 14 and 15 year old (girls)

and 2 little boys under 7. Boys believe in Santa and the magic etc.

my teenagers obviously don’t. They’ve always been spoiled at Xmas as much as I could but now I’m thinking… when does it end?? 16? 17? 18? It’s a joke really and I can’t afford to be doing it anymore.

so my question. What do you get and how much do you get for your teens for Xmas?????

may I add.. I make the Xmas effort but I think it’s a big rip off if I’m honest x

Can’t imagine thinking it’s okay sending the message to 14 & 15 year old that their younger siblings, that I chose to have, deserve more than they do.

We’re not talking about a 25 year old here, these are still kids just older ones.

If there is less money to go round then absolutely it gets scaled back, but it gets scaled back for EVERYONE. No child asks to be born, we as parents decide that, they don’t owe us anything and they don’t become worth less money once they stop believing in santa!

My children are adults and I still like to spoil them at Christmas. I spend a lot more on them now than I did when they were little.
Your older children are still very young and I definitely wouldn't just get them token presents if I was getting a lot more for the little ones.
If you can't afford to get them older ones nice things then you should treat all four equally.

No way did I reduce my spend for teenage kids. Quite the opposite as toys for small kids are far cheaper than the things older children want.

I suppose I don't worry about spending as much on my eldest as he doesn't mind at all. He has a well paid job and I don't. But when they are still in education and living at home I don't make a distinction between age.
I'm on good terms with their dad though and if they want something very expensive we go halves if I ask to. That's very helpful.

Two teens. What you can afford. New phones are only at birthday or Christmas unless broken. Cycles too. (Except when damaged in a road accident) teens are sensitive little flowers and need a bit of coddling. Share out the money reasonably equally.

Mine have always had useful stuff in their stockings along side some treats.

OP you can’t spoil your younger children at the expense of the two older ones. Whatever your budget is it needs to be evenly split between all four. It’s not the elder children’s fault that you had more kids. Their Christmas is no less important!

The piles don't have to be the same size for older kids and younger kids, older kids usually understand the concept of money. I still do stockings for everyone in the house for Christmas, everyone is an adult now, but it's just chocolate and treaty bits, I tried to stop it one year and everyone was very miserable about it.

When the kids were older I would ask what they wanted for Christmas and they would ask what the budget was. I would tell them, and they would give me ideas based on that. Perhaps that could be an approach - tell the older children that your budget for Christmas is a total of £X per child and ask for their gift list based on that? If they want three things that make up the total, great, if they want one thing takes all of it, equally great, but they can't get upset that their sibling got 3 gifts and they got 1, if you see what I mean.

Why are you drip feeding on every post? They are all equal.

What I think is rubbish is you want to treat two of your children differently.

mine range from 7-20 they know i set a budget and they can have up to that amount, my 20 yo has 3 presents which reached that budget and the younger ones have between 7-10 each. Older kids know how much things cost.

My adult DC, their partners, DGC and my DH all get a Xmas stocking. I spend about £60 per stocking. I have a stocking too. Not sure if DH does it all himself or DC add bits for me. I have had a few funny bits so suspect me DC do put bits in but I don't want to know really.

I will be honest its too early

The teens would tend to get more as they tend to need more - better quality clothes for exmaple and decent tech

of course if you buy all that stuff all year round it’s different

I think you have to cut your cloth to suit your means, but also explain to the older ones that, you can have ten gifts that come to £100 or you can have the new pair of trainers. DC is 7 and I’ve explained to them they can have the expensive games console, but they won’t have anything else. They’re ok with that. I’m lucky that I made the decision to stick to one kid - I appreciate it’s harder when you’ve got more than one. Whatever happens, you have to spend the same on them all.

It’s not too early when you’re worrying about money.

well if that is what you understood from the posts, you need to read again.

Set a budget. Divide by 4. That is it. Talking of "piles" is a bit daft. In general you can actually get away with spending less on a 7 year old and still they get a huge pile

Have a 16 yo and 18yo as well as two youngest and we still just go for it, nothing crazy, they’re quite low maintenance so stuff like funko pops, books, sweets, maybe a hoodie. I can’t tell you where it stops to be honest😅

OP however much you do have to spend should be split equally between all 4 DC. You don't have to spend £120 on a pair of trainers either. You can get a decent branded pair for £50-60 at Sports Direct. Whatever your budget just split into 4 and ask older DC what they want. It's not about how many things they have to open but if they get the things the like. My DC are adults now but I have 2 foster DC and they all get exactly the same budget with older DC sending me links or a wish list to pick things they would like.

I fully expect christmas to become more expensive as the years go by. Older teens want tech, phone contracts and designer stuff. I wouldnt consider reducing the budget until after they turn 18.

I would aim for spending roughly the same on all of them. Obviously that won't be the same volume of presents and your older ones will understand that.

I imagine I'll start spending a bit less on my kids once they are settled and earning reasonable money themselves, which s likely to coincide with my retiring and being on a lower income.

I am 36, my brother is 39 and the other is 28, and my mum genuinely still spoils us at Christmas. Though I’m not sure if that’s the norm!

In terms of my own kids, the older one is more expensive, and the younger one is too young to know any difference. So I don’t set a price limit per kid, I just try to make sure they have a similar amount of presents to open. For example, DD’s main present is a doll’s house for £15 from Marketplace, DS’s is a Nintendo Switch at £260. I won’t leave DS with just one that gift them spend up to the same value on DD as despite it being a great gift, I’d feel grim him spending all morning watching his sister open presents.

Your two little boys won’t yet understand the concept of costs of things and will be just as excited opening colouring books or (good condition) second hand toys as they would with expensive gifts. Make some savings on your younger ones so you can afford the more expensive things your older ones might want, without worrying about having the same budget for each child.

No need to be rude OP

if you are talking more generally than this Christmas- I would keep spending a fair bit on each of them until they were mostly financially independent so that’s probably mid to late 20s - up till then Christmas would be a chance to get them things they need but can’t afford

What is exactly your question? But no, you don't have to spoil them when they'Re 50. But you should treat them the same while they live with you, at least.

Your teens’ piles will be smaller than your younger children, but as long as you spend the same amount on all of them, it’s fine.