Money doesn’t by class

[Theweedygarden]

Mumsnet is full of people who go on about their large salaries and how much money they have. Great. You have money.

But, god, you have no class, empathy or ability to understand how much others struggle. Being wealthy does not give you a right to be nasty and smug and superior to people who can’t afford to spent ££ on a rug or their food shop, or their bloody Christmas turkey,

Lots of people on mumsnet might claim to be wealthy, but they’ve definitely got no class or empathy.

Edit; and my dyslexic self spelt buy wrong! Sure that’ll anger people!

Not being wealthy doesn't mean a person gets to tell others that having money makes you smug or classless either.

If you're taking to a specific subset of people then why not address them individually when you see them say this stuff rather than starting another thread about "what Mumsnet is like" that is only ever going to generalise at the highest level? What are you hoping to achieve? Do you think the peoole you're talking about are going to go "oh yes, that's me, I'll stop now'?

Or is it to provoke a defensive response?

If it helps you categorise me before you read what I say, I have no idea if you'd class me as rich - I work PT with not much income but have a DH who earns a bit more. When I bought a rug I ummed and ahhed about it for ages to make sure we were buying the right thing.

🥴 you ok hun?

“Money doesn’t buy class” is such a hyacinth bucket thing to say.
What even is class? Why should we all desire it above all else?
So we can fan girl lord cecil or the Mitford sisters like some bootlicking Victorian servant girl?

Touchè. But yes your right, there was a bin lorry man who won the millions and wasted it all on strippers & drugs, 5 years later back to being a bin man and penniless.

Why can't people talk about their high salaries, or their Christmas plans? Just because other people have less money?

I only ever hear about class on MN, no one else is interested.

Mumsnet is full of all sorts of people, but having money doesn't automatically mean you lack empathy in general, here or anywhere else.

It's actually very classless and rude to make generalisations like this. You're essentially sneering at someone who has achieved something quite significant (earn money through salary or entrepreneurship) but still forcing them to "stay in their place" because they lack other qualities that can earn your approval. It's very closely related to racism, white supremacy, patriarchy and other belief systems that assign sweeping generalisations on what makes a human worthy of respect.

You also sound bitterly jealous to be honest.

When did this happen? Has there been smug-rug gate overnight on mnet?

This point makes no sense. No, you can’t buy your way up a social class, pasta certain level, or at least not at one go, but if the wealth continues down the generations, you can of course eventually ‘buy class’.

But the link to being someone who doesn’t talk about their Christmas turkey is obscure.

The only time I've seen this on MN is in style and beauty when discussing expensive clothes or a budget for a handbag of £1000 but that is purely on S&B where the upmarket tend to live.

Other than that, I would consider the other posts quite considered. There are the "I earn a fortune and I'm struggling" posts and the frugalistas in money matters that are counting the no spend days.

There are lots of posts that will ask carte blanche what's your disposable income/ mortgage/ food shop. Answers vary wildly and instead of jealousy, I'm fascinated. Firstly by considering how many are actually true and secondly, I think it's good to see a variety of wealth brackets being so open, it's like a glimpse into the wealthier or poorer parts of society which most people in their circles don't mix with. I feel like we get to peek behind the curtain of the finances of the business Owner and the office Cleaner and this is interesting.

So, I would say unless the posts that you consider bragging are being unkind or are earning it dishonestly, then you should accept that there are people with different experiences out there and be interested in that, instead of envious and angry.

I have to say, when you read posts where the op's washing machine has broken for instance, you'll get loads of posts with just buy a new one, put it on a credit card. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that some people, myself included, can't afford to outright buy an expensive item like that and couldn't get a credit card even if I wanted one, zero credit history 😂 some people who are comfortable can really come across completely tone deaf. Having access to money makes them think everyone can access money.

People have money and choose to spend it shocker.

frankly we should all be grateful that people are out their spending £180 on diptyque candles and £200 on M&S beef wellington (assuming that’s what this thread is about). It’s what keeps the economy going and it would be a bloody nightmare if we all stopped.

Talking about this stuff isn’t classless and personally I have far more time for the lad that’s earning millions from streaming on TikTok whilst wearing LV or the woman who’s set up her own business and is now buying a Range Rover than the stereotypical Lord of the manner, driving his beaten up Volvo with dog hair on his cashmere who had never worked a day in his life but grandpa was invested in the sugar plantations….

Money talks, wealth whispers.

That probably means you’re privileged so you’re blind to it. Being a WC person in a very MC work environment means I experience class prejudice every day. It’s horrible and dehumanising. If you and people around you ‘aren’t interested’ then perhaps don't comment.

I have no money, class or empathy.

It’s an anonymous forum, you’re taking it too seriously.

Op telling someone they have no class makes you as bad imo. I see more posters who have money told to read the room instead of asking the questions that constitute their problems in life and told basically to shut up. Why is that ok? If one poster pissed you off and they have money it’s not indicative of the entire mn community

This

Talking about this stuff isn’t classless and personally I have far more time for the lad that’s earning millions from streaming on TikTok whilst wearing LV or the woman who’s set up her own business and is now buying a Range Rover than the stereotypical Lord of the manner, driving his beaten up Volvo with dog hair on his cashmere who had never worked a day in his life but grandpa was invested in the sugar plantations….

Exactly this. I find it nauseating when poor people worship the idea of being "classy" which is inherently tied to aristocracy, old money and whiteness. They're obsessed by the idea that there is a right and wrong way to be rich. When in reality, all rich people couldn't give less of a shit about the status obsessed lower or middle-class fangirls, regardless of whether they're bragging about their turkey or not.

The whole point of mumsnet is you hear from people in different situations, some are probably quite wealthy, some struggling in low paid jobs, some on benefits, etc, etc. Everyone's point of view is equally valid, and everyone has problems. Nobody should be told they can't have an opinion on anything, just because their experience of life is different.

Do you have any thread examples of MNetters going on about their large salaries? Or do you mean literally people talking about their Xmas plans or food shop and they happen to have more money than you?

I find it quite tedious when threads where the topic is obviously, for example, holidays, and it's interspersed with woe is me comments about not being able to afford holidays. Ok, so why are you on the thread then! Reverse snobbery is a thing, brush the chip off your shoulder

Off topic but there are credit cards that are specifically aimed at people who have no credit history, called credit builder cards. How else would anyone ever get their first one?

On the other hand someone may come up with a DIY fix or a place to buy cheap spares. A lot of people who are now comfortable know very well what it's like to scrimp. I didn't see that thread (if it is an actual example) It may well be that someone's first thought would be that they were looking for suggestions for a new machine, with nothing disrespectful intended.