How many babies would you have if

[Lelophants]

You didnt have to worry about money, space or your age. I think I’d want 4, maybe 5. I love pregnancy and birth (even though I had c sections) so much and when you first see them. 🥺 Plus babies, gahh. Amazing. And I love watching them grow, even when Im so unbelievably overwhelmed.

So in my dream world Id be a sahm, enormouse house with big bedrooms, multiple holidays a year and a nanny for when Im stressed or want to work for fun (obviously!)

Obviously real life means most of us can’t do that!

4! I have 3 which is the right amount for the size of our house and the mental energy I have! But if money was no object and I didn't have to work I'd have another one! Maybe another 2 :)

Not a fan of being pregnant, or the sleep regressions, reckon I could have gone to 3, but had DD2 when I was 41 so wouldn't have anymore due to age and money, if that wasn't an issue then 3

I would have liked 4 if money and space were no issue! In reality I have 2 and am well past the point of any more

3 - I’m lucky to have 3 - wouldn’t want any more or any less.

I wanted 3. Have 2. Ended up a single parent and it’s exhausting. I am so glad there are just two of them. Life would be more manageable with one.

3

If you’d said ‘you won’t end up permanently incontinent’ I’d have had a couple more. We planned for three - or four. Ended up sticking with two. I sometimes dream someone leaves me a baby!

Same here, if it was just the babies, I'd never stop. I can never get enough baby cuddles.

But then they grow up and become hard work. I have 3. If we could have afforded a bigger house a few years ago, I would have had 1 more. DH wanted 4. But now they're older, I wouldn't want to go back to the toddler days.

I have three, and if we had unlimited resources would probably have at least another two. The main thing I find difficult about parenting is the juggle for time - to get necessary stuff done, to give each child the focused attention they deserve, to spend time all together as a family and to spend some time alone to maintain my own sanity - and unlimited money would kind of solve that problem.

If you can pay someone to take on all your cooking, cleaning, laundry, housekeeping, general life admin etc then that frees up an enormous amount of time and headspace. We also have no real family support and have never been able to afford babysitters other than the childcare necessary for us to work, so can literally count on one hand the times we've been out as a couple even for dinner since our eldest was born, and he's 11 now. If you can pay for high quality childcare at the drop of a hat it makes it easy to spend 1-1 time with each child, and if you can afford not to work or to work very part-time, you can also use said childcare to get time to yourself or as a couple when you want it without feeling you're missing out on the few precious hours you get to spend with your children outside work. Our oldest two have SEN and being able just to pay for everything they need education-wise rather than spending hours of my life stressing and battling with the system would also make things much more manageable.

I am absolutely awful at being pregnant - have terrible sickness, get every pregnancy complication going and have had problems with every birth - but it's such a short period of time to feel rubbish compared to the wonderful payoff of having a whole new person to love that I'd willingly do it again. So in my fantasy multimillionaire lifestyle I'd definitely have at least two more. But back in the real world DH was saying this morning that he ought to crack on and ask the GP to refer him for a vasectomy 😂.

If I’d had a full time cleaner and mother’s help - maybe 6?

3 now and I'd have loved one more if could guarantee healthy pregnancy and birth (complications with my last birth mean we stopped).

But also agree with others that the biggest barrier is mental capacity and time. Even with 3 the logistics are hard and often feel one or other is being put out by me trying to support a sibling. If had money for help, big house, lots of travel and also therapy to keep me calm (and that health guarantee) then I would possibly go even higher. Like OP I loved being pregnant and the early days, plus love babies and watching them grow.

4 with a full time nanny and a housekeeper. The more help, the more I'd actually spend with my kids. As a sahm I spent most of my life shooing away kids because I was cooking or making them sit in the car in traffic to go collect a sibling. Despite being with them 24/7 my quality time was really limited as was my patience. With a full time nanny I'd be able to focus on a baby while older kids are occupied then switch and have full on quality time with each child. I'd happily have had a 4th (I have 3, but I had twins so only planned 2!). I'd work part time once they started school and keep the housekeeper for grocery shopping and meal prep.

5 bed house with playroom, kids TV room and an adult only lounge on top of usual family sitting room.

In real life I am very happy with the one child I have, and have no desire for more, and I think it would negatively impact our status quo anyway - so even if I was richer etc I wouldn't change that.

In some alternate dimension where I was born a man so pregnancy wasn't on my radar and I felt less obliged by the obligations created by children existing 24/7 (and was rich etc as in the OP)....maybe I'd have wanted a few more?

I have 3 - I also love the pregnancy, birth and newborn stage so in my dreams I would have more but realistically giving them all the attention they need, I would stick at 3. I'm maxed out and it's a struggle with a job as it is so to be the best mum, then I would give up the job rather than have more.

If we could have a nanny, chef, cleaner, massive house, etc., I’d have liked four. We stopped at two, because we don’t have any of this help! 😂

My DH has three siblings and his parents worked bloody hard, I wasn’t prepared to make that level of sacrifice.

I had 3 and I would keep it at 3 😄 As a child I wanted 4, we nearly stopped at 1, but 3 is perfect.

4

None

Unless you could also take away all of my mental illness. The way I am now irregardless of money, space or age is not compatible with being able to be a parent unfortunately. (Not a slight on any mother swho do live with mental illness it's just a purely and entirely a personal feeling based on my own life that I couldnt cope and wouldn't be fair to the kids)

In a different life I maybe could have been.

I would have had 6, I actually have 2, and due to being mid 40’s with no DP, unlikely to have any more.

Love these! Always so interesting.

4

But would have a nanny, cleaner, gardener, housekeeper.

I’d never have contemplated more than one. Finances didn’t come into it.

2 was plenty.
interesting the DC are late 20s /30, no children yet themselves and only 1 of their friends has a child so far . They are not rushing .