Spiralling badly - can’t help but feel like a loser

[Lunalara]

I was a very high achiever at uni and did well. However, I developed a low self esteem and didn’t get on a graduate programme as a result. Now I feel like I can’t go anywhere in life and close to giving up entirely. I have tried for things to get better, but I have realised that it is too late. I would rather have no life than a bad one.

I don’t know how long I will be able to tolerate life. I have messed it up beyond recognition. I have tried so hard to fix my mental health, but as I am nowhere near where I want to be, it is driving me to a dark place. If I don’t find another job soon, I will be unemployed. I have absolutely nothing to be proud of.