Inspired by another thread - are you full time, part time, SAHM and how old are your kids

[Iampondering]

Obviously what works for everyone is different, and I’m not looking to cast judgement on anyone else’s decisions in life!
Now my DC is 7, I am surprised however to be only one of two full timers out of my close group of friends. The other 5 range from 2-3 days a week. No SAHM in our circle though.
I was PT until school then shifted to FT then.
Just being nosy and wondering what’s the norm for other friendship groups, and is there a shift as DC get older?

I'm a sahm and dcs are 3 and 7. DCs are at a London prep and it's unusual for parents to be a sahm. Most are working and have nannies. Technically I'm freelance although I do very little hours - but people often ask what I do and I tell them that's my job, so for acquaintances I don't think it's always clear who works and what hours. Financially I don't need to work (not dependant on DH) and I don't plan to return to a job, although I will probably maintain a company as it's tax-efficient.

I am currently not working due to cancer treatment. But in my normal life, I was PT (4 days 0.8FTE usually spread over 5 days). Dh is self employed, but probably also works 3-4 days spread over 5 days. We are fortunate to have a lovely financially comfortable life without needing to both work FT. When I do go back, I’ll go back roughly 3-4 days, but self employed this time.

Dc are now 7 & 12. Dh worked FT when they were younger (maybe until youngest was 4/5) and I worked a mix of PT/FT. I often did compressed hours, so 3 12-hour days or 3 12-hour days and a shorter day. My PT work has partly been by choice and partly because of funding decisions by my employer - sometimes they have only been able to afford to pay me for PT work because of the budget for a project.

I’m 45 and PT with no kids. I moved to two days a week when I turned 40 as I was disillusioned with corporate life and how all encompassing it was. I was burnt out and knackered.

Now I spend the rest of my time walking my dogs, doing classes in photography, art, horticulture, and I have a burgeoning side hustle. I’m fitter than I’ve been in a long time and I feel my creative side is nurtured.

I live with my long term partner but don’t rely on him financially, my 50% of the living costs is covered by my PT work as our overheads are pretty low.

Mine are 10 ad 8 and I work 34 hours a week. It is a good balance to get all my work done, feel involved in the team and not have to use wraparound care every day.

Really interesting that there’s so much variety. I love my job but it’s a huge amount of stress and pressure. But I’m also planning early retirement at about 55 so I’m hoping the more stressful times will be worth that payoff!
I also love that we are fortunate enough to have no financial worries at all, which wouldn’t be true if I worked part time.

It is hard to stop to stop the mum guilt sometimes, but thanks to WFH I’m able to take DC to school 4 x a week which is nice.

DC are 14 and 10. I work PT, 32 hours a week over 4 days but I’m about to up it to 35 hours over 4 days. Youngest starts secondary next year, I may up my hours again but that day off in the week makes life for everyone a lot easier. Life admin gets done, DH can schedule his long days/overnights around it, available for dc related stuff, it helps with school holidays. It would put a lot of pressure on us if I went to 5 days. I’d only be doing it for pension reasons tbh.

Both full time. I work 50hrs term time so I can have reduced hours in the holidays. Partner works 37 all year round.

SENd 9 year old.

I have a DS 12 and I work full time, 40
hours over 4 days. I am a nurse in a community team so have a bit of flexibility. I have never worked part time since he was born, i was a single parent for a long time and just couldn’t afford it. I’ve been with my DP for years and he earns more than me but I’d never financially rely on someone anyway. Although I have just this week put a flexible working request in to drop to 36 hours so I can finish early one day a week, whoever said earlier in the thread that teens need more than younger kids is so true which I never would have believed!

Work full time - always have by choice. SAHM wasn’t for me. Kids are senior school now. No family nearby. OH works full time.

Most couples we know both parents work full time. Most mums have done so by choice and not for financial reasons.

Generally you either have a little more time or a little more money. We pay to outsource a lot of jobs - cleaning, gardener, grocery delivery, ironing etc. So our time is quality time with our kids instead of being with them but having to do chores at the same time.

Works for us and wouldnt have it any other way.

Full time 39hrs two dc age 10 and 12

I'm currently a SAHM, 4 DCs - 8, 4, 2 and 3m. Was working FT until I had DC2, then went back PT until I had DC3. Didn't go back after that and since have had DC4. DH has always worked FT. I'll definitely go back to part time employment when youngest goes to nursery and I imagine I'll do full time again eventually, when they're all a bit older and more self-sufficient. Other parents I know are a mix of either FT, PT or SAHP, so quite varied.

Part time, 26 hours a week spread over 4 days. So work 9-4 with 30 min lunch.
Works well as oldest only goes to ASC for an hour (uses to go for 2!)

Kids are 5 and 2. (Year 1 and nursery)

Was a SAHM until DS1 was 8.5, youngest was 1.5 ish. Nearer to 9 & 2 I think. Tricky to say exactly as I was training and it was all over the place and gradual.

LOVED my SAHM days. Love my job now. I work 3.5 days a week so exactly half the time. Wouldn’t want to work any more. When DD goes to school next year I’ll have Mondays and Fridays to myself, lush! (I work my half day on Saturdays). I also work a lot of evenings as my role involves rehearsals.

Full time and DS is 10.
I’ve always worked full time and my friends are a mix of full and part time (more full time tbh).
I only know 1 or 2 SAHMs but most of them are now looking for work or have some income from a side hustle.

i'm a stay at home nana - I retired from teaching to look after my first grandchild so that my older daughter could go back to work full time.

my younger daughter has just been forced to leave work - her daughter had to spend many weeks in hospital this last year and this will not change for years to come. Her work made it a hateful place to be. She felt that she had no choice. So she has to be a stay at home mum.

I’m 43 and I’m now very part time. Kids are 17, 16 and 12. The 16 and 12 have autism and adhd. Youngest is profoundly autistic and there’s no afterschool clubs as they attend a specialist school. They also can’t access holiday clubs for Sen children and we can’t find anyone to look after her so I can only do remote work in term time (which is v rare).

I was working 4 days (32 hours) a week term time only. I’m now only doing 2 days a week term time only as I now have to take my daughter to school and I was totally burnt out.

My 16 year old finishes his specialist school next year and he will end up doing three days a week somewhere so I don’t know if I’ll continue working or go back to being a SAHM as he will need support and having been a carer for so long I feel like I need days just for myself.

I’m the same and it was actually my apathy that led me to consultancy work, where I’m better paid AND have more freedom and flexibility.

I also think there is a huge difference between one persons FT and another. DH’s FT is 60 hours plus per week, mine is 35 but if I stayed in a corporate role it would easily be 50 hours. I can imagine two parents working 9-5 having a relatively good work life balance but not two parents doing 45+ hours a week.

8m maternity with both kids.
After DC1, I worked 30 hrs/wk but upped it to full-time after about 18 months (felt like I got paid part-time but worked full-time).
After DC2 went back full-time. Switched to 15hrs/wk once DC2 started school (DC1 started high school same year).
We didn’t have any grandparents / family help, so childcare was expensive, but I worked slightly odd hours which meant I covered lots of the childcare too (& was wrecked for a number of years as a result!!).

It feels a bit unusual to have done it that way, but it gave us more financial stability, so we have good savings now and small mortgage. I find life is more demanding with older children, and they need me more (in a different way) than when they were babies / toddlers. Feel very lucky to be able to spend more time with them now.

I work PT, 3 days a week. But DH is a farmer so I also work the other days doing 'bits' 😂

I'm an accountant, before having DC I worked FT. But no where I ever worked was really the proper 9-5, there were meetings that ran over etc or deadlines had to be met. Most of the women I worked with who had children either had a good bit of support from family or their partners jobs could work around it. 1 woman's mum/ dad would have her children after school until either she or her husband collected them. 2 others I can think of their DHs worked in part time/ school hour time.

I just really doubt it would work for us. The DC need to be collected by 5.45pm from nursery - which is a 20 min drive away. DH usually works until 6pm but in certain seasons can be working until mid night. I'm in Ireland it is income tax season here I would be expected to work until 9/10pm for the next few weeks.

I always worked PT after having DC and remained PT until taking early retirement as I seemed to move from child care to elderly family members needing extra support.

The only people I knew who didn’t work as parents were those who would have been on a very low income and it wouldn’t have been worth their while paying for childcare.

30 hours. DC 10 and 7. I did 22.5 hours from when DC1 when was 1 until dc2 started reception. Single parent now. It’s a real juggle tbh. Most mums I know work less hours than me. I will probably have to go full time in a few years.

SAHM, solo parenting an 18 month old. Working on my portfolio & studying which adds up to about 36 hours a week. No childcare. Not on any benefits. Watching my house deposit dwindle away but wouldn't give up this time with my toddler for the world. Planning to go back into work full time when DD is 3 and in preschool. I'm happy exhausted.

We both work full time, I had 1 year maternity leave with each of the kids, we have 3.We both have relatively well paid but unstable jobs so work while we can, we don't have fancy holidays or cars but have accumulated some savings to use if we lose jobs or , if all goes well, to pay kids deposits, university fees etc. I understand for many middle earners part time makes more sense, as you have triple hit with higher tax, high cost of childcare and lose of benefits when working full time.

Part time, DC’s are 19 and 17, was looking to go up admin bandings in NHS but DH was diagnosed with cancer and died, we live rurally so issue of getting DC’s to school/college. Eldest is at uni and youngest has driving test in December, as soon as he passes I can look at hopefully picking up extra hours somewhere