How often do your 11yr olds have friends to sleepover?

[Gymmum82]

Interested to hear off others how often your 11 year olds have friends to stay over.

My husband hates having kids over especially to sleepover so I feel like here it’s almost never. Maybe birthdays and that’s about it. I feel bad for my kids as when I was growing up I’d stay over at friends or they at mine basically every weekend.

According to my kids their friends have sleepovers most weekends but I’m not sure if they say that because we rarely do and I’m not sure if they don’t get invited because it’s not reciprocated.
So what’s the norm for you?

Normally never, birthday parties only and not every year!

I have a nearly 11yo and we never have sleepovers. I hated them growing up and my kids don't seem fussed about them. As a pp said, I'm also just not tripping over myself to parent someone else's child through the night 😆

17 year old- every week
11 year old probably 4 times a year

Hate to be a downer, but my ex BF was abused by his male cousin, so you can’t assume only girls are at risk

edited “end” to “ex BF”

This
Now ds is 15 he gets a few more sleepovers bot none for 11yo

Weird

Every couple of weeks for my DD who is 12. She hosted/went to 10 sleepovers in the 7 week summer holidays. I don’t mind them really. Children mostly bring their own bedding , we make them dinner and breakfast and provide snacks but other than that they just keep themselves entertained.

Never because her friends parents don’t allow sleepovers until secondary school and it’s really sad!!

Never.
For a variety of reasons:
We don't have the space to host multiple kids.
We both work FT. In my downtime I cannot look after other people's kids and monitor and police them.
Our weekends are for family time, and my kids are still happy to hang out with us and do things as a family. We do love hosting people though. We often do big brunches on a Saturday or Sunday where multiple neighbours and their kids, or friends plus kids etc will come at 11 and stay till 4/5. But no sleepovers.

Having said that my kids have never really asked and don't seem fussed. Both have done multiple residential music camps so this doesn't seem to have hampered their ability to spend time away from home.

1 - 2 times a year for my son. Not that much of a thing among his friends. I think girls tend to do them more often, but not as much as every weekend based on local friends. It wasn't really a thing when I was growing up either, 2-3 times a year maybe with a group of girls.

Never.

We dont have the room for other people's kids to sleepover.

Blimey, around here, it's a lot more often than most of the people on this thread.

DS tends to have sleepovers quite often - they like to come over and play playstation until late. Pretty regular. there was a phase where it was most weeks but now more like monthly. DD is 11 and it's less frequent but that's more because her and her closest friends all have weird sleep issues! . But it's slowing going up.

I have no problem with sleepovers. The children love them and it's not that onerous.

Nobody said it was onerous? Some people don't like them and some people do is all. I don't own a games console either, so PlayStation till late isn't something we'd do either. Different strokes etc

Most weekends and multiple times a week in the holidays.
I love having their friends over.

That's a shame, if you're against yours sleeping at others then can't you at least host?

Our 10 year old is autistic so won't go for sleepovers at friends houses (or even to friends houses alone yet) but we have her friends over regularly and sleepovers about every 4-6 weeks.
Her friends parents are completely understanding of her being shy and seem happy with the set up

Never. My 12 year old went to one or two and hosted one when younger and hated them.

Whenever they ask and i can fit it round the sports schedule. They both have double beds so don't have to do much, just some extra food and a few ££ to go the local shop seems to keep them happy. DD13 friends seem to do sat/ sun a lot but she has a lower social battery / likes to be at home!

Never. We had one birthday celebration when my oldest set of twins turned 11 or 12 when a bunch of boys stayed over, but that was a one time thing. I also didn't allow my boys to attend sleepovers.

I love having their friends over. Not so much sleeping but they’re welcome any time. I want my house to be the ‘safe place’ where they can all knock about together if the weather is shit or they’re just not feeling going out. It’s my son’s house and providing they respect his and our stuff, they can come when they want.

Girls like this more than boys?
what’s the problem?

For those who don't have the space if there was more than 3 staying (top/tail in single bed, 2 airbeds on floor - bedroom door couldn't open!) we let ours take over the living room, 2 single mattresses from upstairs (2 on each top and tail), 4 airbeds/sleeping bags (all cheap and tatty out of tesco), and two couches. We could fit in 10 kids - they don't take up that much space and would bring their own pillows!

Each one we did was a bit of a riot - essentially good/respectful/well mannered lads, no major issues took a telling if they got OTT, but still so noisy! The upside is we then got 7-9 weekend evenings free for ourselves when other parents took their turn! The airbeds and sleeping bags migrated between all the houses in one of those HUGE Sports direct bags.

They had an amazing year or so doing this and very fond memories and good laughs with them - best of all it got them off the games consoles and actually interacting, socialising and learning being with people face to face was much more enjoyable than through a headset.

Most weekends my DD sleeps at one of her teammates houses. Due to disabilities and her brother's needing 24hr care we don't host. But the team is amazing and don't mind.

Probably about once a month on average

Maybe once or twice this past year. That’s us hosting. Mine is now 12.

I’m not mad about sleepovers. My health isn’t great (cancer), so honestly, I’m in bed by 9pm and we have a younger dc to settle to bed. I am frankly fed up with the battle over phones. I take them away when I go to bed, but I get the sense others don’t so I get some long faces.

But I don’t know anyone having sleepovers most weekends. Mine gets invited for one maybe every 2-3 months and she is quite sociable with lots of friends. She would be a wreck if it was every weekend.

Honestly, the only parents I know who do them all the time seem to be the ones who want entertainment on tap for their dc so they don’t have to parent, so are getting drunk at home to toddling off to the pub. One mum was was drinking heavily having her boyfriend over who I later found out does a lot of coke. 😳 I think these sorts probably feel less guilty partying with their kids around if they are getting to hang out with a friend. Once I figured this out, I put a stop to those sleepovers and the friendships have fizzled. Most parents don’t enjoy sleepovers and don’t do them often.

We have an only so try to facilitate often. In reality it’s usually about once a month. Although this month seems to be three times!!