If you have a child with autism that can be violent..

[Colouroutsidethelines]

How do you feel when you find out they have attacked school staff? How do you respond?

I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.

The child I was playing with in the construction area is in year 4 and very articulate. We were conversing nicely, talking about his favourite cars. He then got up and walked off and before I stood up, he had gone behind me, picked up a large wooden log and cracked me hard over the head with it.

It caught me completely off guard and I did cry with the pain as I ran inside to seek first aid.

Curious to how you would respond if this was your child.

Yes it’s all we hear about and it is bankrupting councils

and the child is having an education

Well please accept my non-apology that special needs children are costing LAs money.

I was violently attacked?

The other children meaning the other NT children in the school.

It's almost like some people want it both ways. SEND children not disrupting their child's education and out of the way but without spending any money on it.

He’s 8 actually..

You may take this the wrong way, but your level of affected by this and the language you’re using, tells me that you’re not experienced working with children of that level of need, don’t actually want to be, and probably shouldn’t be.

This kind of thing in specialist school, where you may believe this child belongs, would be almost a non-event. It would be learned from, and then left.

OP was he reprimanded and did he apologise to you?

What they actually want is them locked in sheds, for free, so they’re out of sight and don’t cost any money either.

Why should they have an education if they can’t behave, they certainly shouldn’t have one near my precious Gertrude, etc etc.

I think most people just want to be safe. They want their children to be safe. School should be that safe space for children and it sadly isn’t.

You’ve heard from someone who works with SEN schools on this thread who’s said it’s as worse as it’s ever been in 30 years.

I’ve said it’s as worse as it’s ever been in 25 years.

Teachers and TAs are leaving the profession in absolute droves! Look at the numbers. They can’t recruit people to fill the places.

I've said all the way through that I feel saddened for ALL children now. ND and NT are being failed and put in very dangerous situations.

What happened to me is the least of my worry’s.

Well let’s hope nobody hits you over the head with a log any time soon and then you’ll not have deal with such a non-event.

The lack of empathy and disdain is astounding.

You’re saying that to a woman who was bitten yesterday because toast was the wrong colour.

I mean what I said genuinely. When you live with a child who has behavioural problems, or work in a specialist school that caters for them in volume, you develop a bit of an apathy to it and become much quicker at getting over it.

My DH gets upset and apologies profusely. He will do what he can to support the school, it’s difficult though as with the best will in the world his child hurting people is a regular occurrence. He’s now a teenager so he can do some damage too.

I don't think normalised is the right word.

There is an understanding that is is something that can happen, as i've said, in 5/6 yr olds, the behaviour that happened to you is just as likely with a child who doesn't have SEN, it doesn't mean it should be normalise, expected, or accepted by parents OR teaching staff.

It was that normalising of kids being aggressive naturally at that age that delayed my sons referral/diagnosis because even the school kept saying it was normal/he would grow out of it... only he didn't, it got worse, and actually peaked around 9/10yo... perhaps if it had been addressed earlier, we might have got a handle on it earlier.

I know you probably know this from your training, so apologies if its a bit 'preaching to the choir', it's not my intention here, but for other readers who might now know it.
There is the issue with many things like ASD/ADHD, and Dyspraxia (especially dyspraxia and adhd) where they run on a roughly 25% social/emotional delay, so a child like your 5yo student might BE 5yo, but he's still developmentally about 3.. and we all know what toddlers can be like with randomly smacking people.

In these situations the reflection after the incident is what becomes important, because those are where we learn how to prevent it happening again, so you're not put back in that situation another time.

I’m very experienced. I’ve had all sorts happen over the last 5 years working in the classroom. I’ve been hit, hair pulled from my head, spat at etc This was before we had to create the behaviour spaces.

Parents have always been apologetic and seemed to care about the staff.

I have never, ever had a parent laugh in my face after such a serious incident and that is why I created the post.

It was, and that was responded to.

But I’m sure you can see that the thread has actually become a discussion about why these children are even in the school, and the ordeal of the others having to witness their behaviour, which completely deprioritises the SENd child we’re discussing.

He was excluded for 2 days. It’s not been brought up again.

How would you feel if someone had bitten you at work though?

Yes but he might have liked being at home so not really a punishment.

My question was whether he was told he was a very naughty boy and asked to apologise to you.

These days, it’s an associated risk of the job.

The first child to kick me in the face was 15 years ago, it was in a primary school, he was SENd and I was trying to put his wellies on. Bam, right in the mouth.

He was the first, but he wasn’t the last. I’ve never referred to myself as violently attacked by any child with needs, including my own, and never held it against them.

It’s for adults to learn how to avoid it happening again and to teach them to do better.

I thought that as an educator, and I think that as a parent.

upset, and then i'd get over it, because it's a child.

i used to work with 2/3yos. being chomped on was a standard daily hazard if you had a biter in the nursery.

I've also had my hair yanked, my earrings pulled, my clothes ripped. i've been jumped on, kicked, and slapped by 2/3/4yos as part of my job.

It hurt, i didn't like it, but its a hazard of working with small children. you document it, and you move on.

Honestly I’m glad he’s off the streets but I feel a hospital order for life/ next 50 years may be better and safer all around.

My point being that in the 20 years before that it never, ever happened. I had never witnessed any violence towards staff ever.

That is the new development/ the change that he referred to. Yes SEN existed. But they were the quiet/ odd/ quirky child.

Now we see extreme violence/ language. I’m called a fat cunt every other day by one of the boys. The NT children were hearing this every day before he was removed from the classroom.

We have to care about all children and how deeply affected education has become in the need for ‘inclusion’

“Very naughty boy”. Jesus 😂

True colours.

We do need inclusion.

That child needs to be taught to communicate appropriately in school and with adults.

Children weren’t actually quirky or odd, they were always autistic.

so what would you suggest? In the right tone it can be scary for a child to hear those words.