If you have a child with autism that can be violent..

[Colouroutsidethelines]

How do you feel when you find out they have attacked school staff? How do you respond?

I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.

The child I was playing with in the construction area is in year 4 and very articulate. We were conversing nicely, talking about his favourite cars. He then got up and walked off and before I stood up, he had gone behind me, picked up a large wooden log and cracked me hard over the head with it.

It caught me completely off guard and I did cry with the pain as I ran inside to seek first aid.

Curious to how you would respond if this was your child.

I know what it is. It’s the language and tone.

“Violently attacked,” “they’re using the library so now other children miss out,” “other children have to witness…”

It seems resentful, and almost like OP actively doesn’t like working with SENd children. As a SEN parent, I’d have some real concerns if staff who work with my son were using that sort of language.

How is she wrong though?

and it isn't victim blaming when a small child acts out/has a meltdown/hurts someone, to want to analyse the situation and work out what happened, and why it happened, to help prevent the situation from reoccurring.

As i said upthread, if this had been my DS my first thought would have been to apologise to the OP and ask after their health, and make sure they're ok.. but once that side of things is established, the behaviour of my DS would need to be addressed.

Autistic kids don't meltdown in a vacuum, there is ALWAYS a reason.

So what was the reason for this child?

These children will be adults one day and society won’t be aware of their triggers. It’s truly worrying thinking the child who hit OP will one day be a grown man in public.

how would i know? i wasn't there. were you?

my DS is an adult now, and HE knows his triggers, and we've put a LOT of hard work into helping him advocate for himself to prevent his own meltdowns.

I'm also an adult, i can assure you i haven't physically assaulted anyone since i was 7.. i'm now 44.

Stop catastrophising and throwing these kids away like they're trash just because as emotionally immature CHILDREN they struggle to regulate their emotions.

This is such a silly comment. I went to primary school in the 90s, no children were drugged and locked up in institutions then. And yes we had children with SEN, and no did they did not whack our teachers over the heads with bloody logs. They were no more violent than the other children.

and tbf, most men don't need ND to assault people in anger when they're adults.

I think you're right and thank you.
It doesn't sit well with me at all.

I didn’t say they did. Regardless, they’ll go to prison. I think a lot of these kids are in for a shock.

I work in special education.

our parents are generally mortified but our pupils are complex, often non verbal and no understanding of the hurt they cause.

We would reassure parents that we understand it’s an occupational hazard. - whilst outlining our plans to prevent it reoccurring. We do all we can to keep staff safe.

If the parent laughed in our faces our SLT would be hot on it. That’s not acceptable and I’m sorry you experienced that.

i think you'll find 'these kids' on a whole grow out of being violent during meltdowns because they learn to cope with their own disabilities, like most of us ND adults just existing out here.

Those who don't are the ones who get moved out of mainstream education and still have 1:1 supervision, or are ejecting from the process completely as soon as they turn 18.

Catastrophising? For fucks sake, he could’ve killed her. This utter nonsense around sanguinely accepting violence from people just because they have SEN has to stop. And the bullying parents who are angry this lady has dared to feel fed up and cross that she was hit over the head with a log.

For fucks sake, he could’ve killed her

He's FIVE.

And you're talking about how they behave as adults.

an NT FIVE year old could just as easily lose their shit and smack someone out of the blue for no evidential reason...i've seen it plenty.

ffs yourself.

I think the whole ‘he’s only 5/6/7’ is part of the problem tbh

Ofcourse if these kids are left to drown, and the school don't follow the legal route that they are supposed to to get support in place the outcomes for these children won't be the best. My DS gets lots of support through his EHCP, this means he has spent time with his TA learning to recognise and regulate his emotions (which he can do better than most adults now at 8) and support in the classroom so he can access the curriculum. I wonder if those writing kids off would be just as happy with the school acting unlawfully with their own DC. If they couldn't be bothered to teach the DC to read for example and said 'well the parent could do it themselves, it is not my fault SLT say we don't have the funds to teach children' would that be ok?

So sorry that this happened to you OP

I think it's unfair to judge parents who have some disdain for the education system if you've never had to experience how hard some parents have to fight so hard for their children to simply access education suitable for their needs, be it in mainstream with adjustments/1-1's or special school.

Where are the tough consequences for the education system which badly fails far too many SEND children? It's funny how it is the children who are let down who are expected to receive the tough consequences.

I would be mortified would work alongside teacher and TA to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

However, I’m not the parent in question. I know many parents who would either not believe the teacher or just brush off the incident. Or just be too exhausted from having to deal with a violent child with ND to think of it as a big deal.

What was the reaction of the parent?

How are they being let down? We’ve never had more adjustments, sensory rooms, hall passes, therapists, 121s, fidget toys, SEN training, etc than we do today. Yet still the behaviour gets worse and worse, and the demands for what is seen as ‘reasonable provision’ just gets higher and higher. We have just taken DD out of her school as it was a SEN school in all but name, she was regularly hit by other pupils, and all and every resource was funnelled into SEN.

To answer the original question I would be upset and apologetic. But this is a very weird setup. All these children need EHCNAs and they don't need a diagnosis for an EHCP. The EHCP then provides the funding for the level of support needed but also sets targets and should ensure an appropriate education.

How aren't they being let down at OP's school? No 121s, no plans for EHCP's so no funding which means they are in an unsuitable setting because they clearly can't cope and then things like this happen.

Perhaps some of the dc need firmer boundaries in the first place

we do bend over backwards

There are 650,000 children with EHCPs. What do you mean no plans for EHCPs??

Your are equating funneling resource with that being effective.

They are being let down as you need to spend the money on the right things and at the right time.

Its no point shoving a child in a sensory room if its not appropriate response to what's going on or half an hour too late, which is what happens often.

Im sorry to hear your child was regularly hit, its shit and not ok - I hope she is alright now. It sounds distressing.

Again, OP's school. None of the children have EHCP's and there are no plans for EHCP's which means no funding and no 1 to 1 support.

Shoving 4 high needs children in a garden with 2 staff members was never going to end well.