Do you find it unreasonable if people smoke inside in front of non smokers?

[Tvhead]

Went to a friends engagement dinner last weekend, small gathering of close friends. Friend who owns the house does not smoke, half of the party were smokers. They asked if they should go outside to smoke and she said no it’s ok to smoke inside. Maybe it’s just me but it has been years since I have been somewhere where people are openly smoking indoors especially when people who are non smokers are there.

what do you think of this?

It is relevant.

Someone can allow what they like in their house. If other people don’t like it, they can choose to leave (as I probably would in thst situation).

I can't recall the last time I smelt a cigarette. It was outside the GP surgery though.

Disgusting and rude behaviour from everyone, host included. I don't care that it is the hosts house, its making a choice for other people to be around gross, and potentially dangerous smoke. As a guest, I would probably would have said something to the smokers and then left.

I think if you allow smoking in your home you should let people know in advance so they can decline the invitation.

i would have left immediately. I have asthma. Staying would not be an option.

Her house , her choice but I wouldn’t stay in a house where people were vaping or smoking as I have emphysema likely due to being exposed to second hand smoke growing up , it is not pleasant .

I do enjoy a cigarette occasionally but I cannot imagine smoking indoors and if I have a cigarette I disappear as far as possible from others. It’s just normal courtesy .

I’m surprised a non smoker agreed to let them smoke inside. I’d never permit smoking in my house.

Would it be an option to say "oh I'm sorry would you mind going outside/ in the conservatory (or whatever), I've got asthma and I really don't want to have to leave yet?"

I wouldn't smoke indoors but if I did and someone said this i would be straight out no problem

My dh is asthmatic and would have to leave as well. It's so long since I have actually smelt anyone smoking. Definitely do not miss the smell

I can. Patients outside the cardiac wing, some in wheel chairs, when visiting DH recently.

It shows how horribly addictive smoking is to the point that patients who have had heart surgery still need their nicotine fix.

A lot of my social circle smoke and always smoke outside, smoking inside is just grim.

I'd be very surprised a non-smoker allowed smoking in their house, because it's so hard to get rid of. I probably wouldn't stay, it's horrible.

I only really know people who smoke socially now, outside a bar or gig. One who smokes at home but in the garden. We're all mid to late 40s and basically everyone smoked when we were teens/early 20s.

‘Uptight’? Are you serious?? Ffs 🤦‍♀️

OP…obviously your friend can do or allow whatever she wants in her own home, but you’re right, it’s incredibly inconsiderate of her when it would affect the comfort of half her guests.

I would have left…and said exactly why. Not sure why some posters are ‘feigning illness’ or whatever! She needs to know how inconsiderate it is.

How strange that a non smoker would let several smokers smoke inside her home. The smell won’t be gone for days, weeks probably. I think it was rude to even ask. It’s such an awful smell, why would they do that to a friend’s home?

I remember the yellow ceilings of my childhood, so there’s no way I want to be around that now.

That's a good point. And if they didn't have a medical reason, they could just say, ' I can't stand being in a smokey room and I hate the smell.' I wonder what the response would be then?

I smoke about 30 a day and OMG the very idea of asking if I should go outside a non smoker home fills me with horror - of course the assumption should be outside! I banned it in my own home years ago and so have most of my smoker friends. Occasionally if (rarely) host says "oh no need, smoke in here" then MAYBE I might depending on who else is present, and also typically those hosts and guests allegedly don't smoke any more but in fact want to nick my cigarettes.

Well, she chose the comfort of her smoking guests over that of her non smoking guests when she didn’t even need to because it sounds as though they were happy to step outside. I think that was a bit short sighted. I suppose if the non smokers decide it doesn’t matter and want to forget about their low rank in the pecking order of guests, then no harm done. But yeah, you’re right, it is her house. And as long as she doesn’t mind pissing off her non smoking guests, she can crack on. As indeed she did.

That wasn’t bad hostessing, she was catering to the majority in this instance and it was her house so her choice

I'm a smoker and will smoke out of my back door when it's just me and DH. But never, ever if anyone else is there 😯 and also not for a few hours before visitors are due.

It's up to the owner of the house. If the non smokers don't like it, they can go and stand in the garden.

Wouldn’t bother me and I’ve never even tried a single cigarette - kind of reminds me of my teen years with the smell of smoke and alcohol and perfume all mingling together.

However, I don’t think prophase unreasonable to hate it either.

So they have to go and stand outside the entire evening?

Ooooh no, I’m not used to it anymore and not sure I’d like it at all! Then again, we wouldn’t let anyone smoke in our house.

Wouldn’t bother me. I don’t smoke btw. I find it sad/rude when people have to leave the table/restaurant to have a smoke. However, I don’t actually know any smokers any more I don’t think.