Do you find it unreasonable if people smoke inside in front of non smokers?

[Tvhead]

Went to a friends engagement dinner last weekend, small gathering of close friends. Friend who owns the house does not smoke, half of the party were smokers. They asked if they should go outside to smoke and she said no it’s ok to smoke inside. Maybe it’s just me but it has been years since I have been somewhere where people are openly smoking indoors especially when people who are non smokers are there.

what do you think of this?

I would hate this and would make my excuses to leave, and I don’t have any lung conditions or anything. The reason is because if people smoke around other people inside, then everyone in the room smokes. It’s not “in front of”, you’re making everyone else breathe in carcinogens when they don’t want to. It’s like forcing non-drinkers to have a drink when they don’t want to. People are fine to make their own choices but that includes me and I choose not to smoke, whether second hand smoke or otherwise.

I'm a social smoker, so would smoke at an event like this, but I think it's super rude of the smokers to ask. I would just go outside, having checked if she was ok with smoking in garden - just as I would ask someone near me if I was going to smoke in a beer garden etc. It's putting hosts in an awkward position to even ask imo as they'll be putting someone out.

Having said that there are some real pearl clutchers on here 😂- who can't even imagine this happening (you must find reading fiction an absolute whirlwind) or who find even reading the thread disgusting.

Vile.

Unless it was really well-ventilated (like patio doors wide level of ventilation), I think i'd have to leave tbh.

And I say that as someone as someone who enjoys a very occasional cigarette myself when circumstances are right. I probably average about 5 a year - but always outside. A wedding, the last night of a holiday, that kind of thing.

The thought of sitting in an enclosed room stewing in it while people smoke around me makes me feel ill.

Her house her rules but this would surely be very unusual

I know a small number of smokers and they always go outside to smoke. I can’t imagine any of them expecting to smoke in a non smoker’s house

I have honestly never seen anyone smoke inside... Ever!

It’s insanely rude that they even asked.
yes of course you need to leave someone’s house to smoke.
maybe she felt like she couldn’t say no.

I think smoking anywhere is rude though to be honest

I can’t imagine this as I don’t know anyone who smokes. I do know a couple of vapers, but they go outside.

My job requires me to go into social housing where people do smoke inside their homes. I have to say it’s completely disgusting.

I used to smoke a lot. I remember barely being able to see across our office for all the smoke, smoking upstairs on the bus, smoking at the cinema etc. We stopped smoking in the house about 40 years ago when we had DC. I gave up completely about 20 years ago and the idea of sitting in a smokey room now is revolting.

How weird and thoughtless of her (hostess)

I think it's odd to ask if they should go outside to smoke. All the smokers that I know (not a huge number) would just say "I'm going outside for a cigarette". Asking the host if they 'should go outside' puts the host in a difficult position.

If I was a guest and someone smoked I would cough, and cough and cough, and if the smokers didn't offer to go outside then I would have to. I remember when smoking inside was a regular thing and I never tolerated it well.

Fortunately I haven't experienced indoor smoking for many years.

I grew up in a household of smokers and had regular ear infections and breathing difficulties. I haven't had any bother with either since 12m after I last lived with a smoker.
One close relative died prematurely from health issues where smoking was a contributory factor during my childhood.

It's a filthy, anti-social habit that I have no patience for, but my opinion about it was strongly influenced by biding time as a 7 year old loitering in a cardiac ward waiting area reading the anti-smoking pamphlets while I waited for my turn to be allowed to visit the bedside.

I don't miss coming home from nights out stinking of other peoples' addiction.

I’d have to leave.

Due to health reasons, I'd have had to leave. And yes, I would have been quite vocal about why.

If the host allowed it then there was nothing wrong with it, if an awful lot of the guests were smoking then the host didn’t want most of the party to be standing outside in the cold chatting, drinking and smoking …..which is probably what would have happened

I suppose non smokers just have to suck it up on an occasion like this

Hopefully most of the non smokers would have the courage to leave.

I suppose that’s their prerogative

Same. It would make me very ill and I would be clear about why I was leaving. I can't even be around smokers outside without becoming ill, never mind in a confined space.

As someone said up thread. It's a filthy and incredibly antisocial habit. (I also feel the same way about vaping)

This has made me think back to being with my ex, who was a smoker, back in the days when, as a non smoker, my social life was spent in smoky pubs/venues. No one thought twice about smoking indoors. Incredible to think just how much things have changed, I haven't been in the company of a smoker for years.

I just hate the smell and always have done. It also gives me a headache.

That's pretty unusual these days.

What age group are your friends?
None of my friends smoke (some are ex smokers), and only one cousin in my family smokes. None of us will see 60 again.

If it's their house absolutely no issue with them smoking in it. You are a guest in their house

I would not allow anyone to smoke in my house

Hell would freeze over before I allowed anyone to smoke in my house, gross. I hope the host didn't feel pressured to say yes.

It's her house but I'd have left. I hate it.

I don’t think the whole ‘it’s her house’ thing is completely relevant here. She doesn’t smoke herself and there were also other non smokers present, yet she decided that it was ok to speak on their behalf, whether they liked it or not. Given that the smokers offered to go outside, she should have let them. I’m pretty sure nobody thinks they’re going to get cancer from very rare occasions of passive smoking, but it is now generally considered to be an unpleasant and antisocial habit.

Her house her rules

I would immediately excuse myself, with no qualms about saying why, and leave. It gives me a banging headache, makes me feel nauseous for hours after and it makes clothes and hair stink.

My reaction might be more extreme than others, I am an ex smoker (23 years) but when I was pregnant, people still smoked indoors then, the smell made me feel really ill and the effect has never gone away.