To ask if you wished you grew up in a bigger house? Or did it not matter?

[Apricotmuffino]

Having a bit of a moment 😁

So we've spent more money on our 3 bed house than we had initially planned, it was a complete doer upper and initially we had planned to live in it for 5-7 years. Well time has gone fast, we are coming up to 6 years now, the house is much better, and I- think- were happy here but it's quite small and were thinking of expanding our family further very soon (3 to 4) and although it's a 3 bed house the 3rd room is miniscule so 2 children would likely have to share rooms. We have a small garden but big enough for children to play, great location with a nearby park and close to a train station.

The thing is, to upsize would cost a considerable amount more, prices seem to have rocketed and even a house 100k more than this would wouldn't actually get us much more in the same area. We could afford it but we wouldn't have the same disposable money, and would likely need to save hard for a few years.

I like having disposable money but I also feel guilty having 2 children in a house that's small. For reference it's about 1100sqft (I am not sure if this includes the garage).

It got me thinking about childhood, I grew up in a smaller size house (900sqft) and I can't remember ever feeling miserable living there (I had the boxroom), we were lucky that my parents had enough money to take us on an annual holiday usually in Europe)

I dont know, pondering on what would give my family a better quality of life, a bigger house or more disposable money for holidays, toys etc

Interesting to hear from others if you dont mind sharing your thoughts whilst looking back on your living accommodation growing up!

Can't see either of our salaries jumping anytime soon but perhaps in 5 years or so?

I grew up in a small 3 bed one bathroom 1930s semi-detached house in the 80s with my mum and dad and brother. He had the tiny box room (bed, single wardrobe, small chest of drawers and lots of high shelves!) and my room was a small double. I don’t think we noticed the lack of space really; most of our friends had the same sized home. I don’t think I met anyone who had more than one bathroom until I went to university.

When I was an older teen my parents converted the front room (dining room) into a hang-out space and squashed the dining table into the back living room and my brother and I used to share that space to hang out with friends. When I left to go to uni, my brother moved straight into my old bedroom, my dad turned the box room into his office and the front room reverted back into a dining room. Only, at this point the front room then also had my bed in it and that’s were I slept during the hols. That was a bit weird tbh. And I never lived at home again after university,

Yes downstairs is bigger, the previous owners had extended the lounge and kitchen many years ago!

So the living room is long (small area designated as a play area and we have our own space free of toys) and the kitchen used to be a gallery kitchen and now square - enough room for a small table and plenty of storage units but not big by any means!!

I shared a room until the age of 14. I hated not having my own space. However, I guess if we had had a bigger house, maybe we would not have had holidays, which I loved. But sharing was so hard. It left me craving space and privacy so much. Even now, I seek it out. I struggle sharing with my partner, and I love time alone. Who knows, maybe I always would have felt the same, but I think a lack of peace and quiet, and alone time, as a child, really really bothered me.

Yes
I hated it. I hated being able to hear my dad coughing and farting in the room next to me.
I hated it being my turn for the boxroom.
I hated that there was no space

It fuelled my entire university/,career.

We bought a 4 bed detached 5 years ago. I feel like I've made it. Childhood dream: completed.

Yes. Grew up in a 2 bed flat so had to share a room with my sister who was 5 years younger so never had my own space (love it as an adult) and my husband grew up in a tiny 3 bed and 3 of them so his brother and him (3 year gap) shared a small room so he was worse than me probably.

made sure we bought a 4 bed house to grow into. Only wanted 2 kids but had twins 2nd time round! Our old house actually had 5 rooms as one was a small single / office we used as a spare room but moved a few years ago to a new house. Bedrooms are all bigger than they had but one whilst not a box room is smaller - my daughter chose that & her twin brother got the bigger one & both happy? I’d have loved even a box room as a child & we both said we would never have our kids share because of our own experiences so yes i wish we’d grew up with 3 bedrooms

I have two children in a three bed. One has a double room, the youngest has the box room. In the box room we have managed to give her a desk and wardrobe (her clothes used to be in a wardrobe in our room) by lifting the bed to a height of 6ft, and putting a foldout desk onto the wall beneath with a clothes rail in the remaining space. The plan came from an Instagram small room storage ideas reel. My wfh office is now in my bedroom- we swapped a king for a double, got rid of a wardrobe and are strict about storage. This means little space which NEEDS to be kept tidy at all times.
However the youngest , now that the eldest is leaving home- DOES NOT WANT the “big room”. She likes her compact , but well designed and very pretty bedroom. It’s hers and she loves it. I don’t think she wishes she had more space- as she has been offered it, and has declined.

Obviously the wfh scenario is fixable with a garden office in the short term but would there be any way of reconfiguring your current bedrooms to make the two children's ones more equitable sizes?

A box room for one is fine when they're still small even a bunk with a desk under is okay when they become a bit older maybe but I foresee future problems if one child remains in a much larger/ smaller room than the other as they get older, certainly 8 years and over.

It sounds as if sizing up could be a problem for you financially so a loft conversion, if possible would be worth considering. It could be used as a wfh space until kids are old enough to need their own reasonable sized rooms and then you can move bedroom into the loft conversion and wfh office back to the box room. Worth considering and more cost efficient than moving.

I grew up in a 6 bed house, it also had a 2 bed cottage attached that my Grandmother lived in. I will never live in such a huge house. Once my older siblings left home it was just too empty. I live in a 3 bed house, it’s just DH and I now but there was 4 of us once. It meant we could retire very early.

Can you renovate so one of the bigger rooms and the box room are turned into rooms of the same size?

I would put the youngest in the box room with a loft bed eventually and have below it for desk/ toys/ storage.

Then maybe every year or two they swap rooms.

I would not move and add financial stress

and yes there are such cool ideas for small spaces

If you haven't a decent amount of money to spare, I'd say leave it for now. You can always get work done when the kids are a few years older

I'm currently in the country I lived in when a child in and walked past the house I grew up in. Was shocked how small it was. Thought it was huge growing up.

Yes I did. We only had one bathroom so it was always a battle in the mornings, and as a teenager I had to share a room with a 9 year old which was a total pain.

My parents each had to share with siblings throughout childhood, & loathed it so much that they always made sure we had our own rooms.

I’m deeply grateful for that because I loved having my own space to retreat to, full of my books, & if I’d had to share it with my younger sister I don’t think our relationship would ever have recovered.

Kids can share for many years yet. I’d imagine that when they are older they will want their own rooms, and many kids have a box room. My brother got the smaller room, my mum said girls needed more space! My kids (opposite sex) shared until they were 10 ish. Though DD largely shared my bed until she was a teen!

My childhood house situation was fine, but an absolute must for me as a parent was to give my kids their own rooms.

We have a 3 bed house with 2 kids and both wfh. I often work at the dining table. We are looking into a garden office.

Just a consideration op…..both my kids have been absolutely TERRIBLE sleepers. DC2 has needed surgery for sleep apnea. There is no way on this earth I would have allowed her to share a room with DC1, where she would have been waking him up all night.

Everything (else I suppose, depending on how small the rooms are) about your house sounds perfect. I think you’ve a few years to think about it, it’s only age 13 one of my sons now wants his own room and we’ve started thinking about the 17yo not sharing anymore but then there’s a chance he’ll have his own place within years and actually he likes sharing

I had the box room too, in a 3 bedroom semi. It never bothered me. We had a happy and secure childhood, no foreign holidays but we did a lot in England. Not much spare money but there are things beyond price.

I did a loft conversion 9 years ago for the very reason - was £100k plus to go from 2 to 3 bed.

cost less than moving
I had two double bedrooms before so now have one huge loft room, one good size double and one small double (bigger than box room)
we could only stand up in centre of loft, ceiling is legal minimum so may put a few people off if I am selling - probably wouldn’t be suitable for someone too much over 6ft.

my kids were 9/5 when we did it and that was an age they were just beginning to get twitchy sharing.

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Your house sounds similar to our old house which we moved from earlier this year, but yours is bigger downstairs. We did have a big garden and a large shed which was a bonus.
We loved there till our girls were 7 and 9. They shared a bedroom and it was ok but getting to the point they needed their own rooms. We used the small third bedroom when they were babies and then as a office when they started to share. It was best for us to stay while they were young and had to pay for childcare etc.
We have not moved to a good sized 4 bed. It is in a nicer area so has cost a lot more. Gone from 285k house to 460k house. But totally worth it now they are older and was the right time for us.

Hi Op, it probably depends on your children and how you bring them up. There were 4 of us in a 3 bed with our mum. I shared with 2 sisters for a few years then when my oldest moved out, I just shared with 1 sister. When it ended up being just 2 of us at home, we had ‘our own room’ but both slept in the big room together still. We are all really close now even though I have lived away over 10 years (I’m the youngest). Personally I can’t wait until DD2 is a bit older & her and DD1 can share (despite having enough space for a room each) as it’s something I look back on really happily!

For me it was the outside space and feeling of space around the house that made me feel happier. Not necessarily to play in as I got older, but to feel less hemmed in and more able to feel that home was a sanctuary. I don't think the size of a home is by any means the most important thing though.

I grew up in an absolutely tiny house and had a tiny bedroom but it was fine. The house was cold and my room being small was easy to heat. I am a very tidy person too because I had to be growing up with a tiny bedroom.

At the end of the day, OP, what really matters is giving your children a secure & happy childhood with loving parents who care for them & put their needs first.

Don't fret about material things so much. There are plenty of threads on here where I am sure the posters live in big houses but their lives and those of their kids are miserable due to relationship breakdowns, rows etc etc.

This is it for me. I grew up in a large house, and now live in a large house. Plenty of space for everyone, and I have my own bedroom away from DH’s snoring. Being cramped would be hell for me.

We have a lovely big kitchen diner where people congregate. We spend so much of our time at home, I want it to be amazing. I’m also expecting our children to live with us for longer than I lived with my parents due to housing costs.

I grew up mainly in 3 bedroomed houses, at one stage my parents built an extension, that meant 5 bedrooms and three rooms downstairs.

I hated it. It was filthy and both my parents smoked.

I was much happier when visiting a friend I thought was 'posh' because her house had a downstairs toilet. I had no concept of council housing.