To ask if you wished you grew up in a bigger house? Or did it not matter?

[Apricotmuffino]

Having a bit of a moment 😁

So we've spent more money on our 3 bed house than we had initially planned, it was a complete doer upper and initially we had planned to live in it for 5-7 years. Well time has gone fast, we are coming up to 6 years now, the house is much better, and I- think- were happy here but it's quite small and were thinking of expanding our family further very soon (3 to 4) and although it's a 3 bed house the 3rd room is miniscule so 2 children would likely have to share rooms. We have a small garden but big enough for children to play, great location with a nearby park and close to a train station.

The thing is, to upsize would cost a considerable amount more, prices seem to have rocketed and even a house 100k more than this would wouldn't actually get us much more in the same area. We could afford it but we wouldn't have the same disposable money, and would likely need to save hard for a few years.

I like having disposable money but I also feel guilty having 2 children in a house that's small. For reference it's about 1100sqft (I am not sure if this includes the garage).

It got me thinking about childhood, I grew up in a smaller size house (900sqft) and I can't remember ever feeling miserable living there (I had the boxroom), we were lucky that my parents had enough money to take us on an annual holiday usually in Europe)

I dont know, pondering on what would give my family a better quality of life, a bigger house or more disposable money for holidays, toys etc

Interesting to hear from others if you dont mind sharing your thoughts whilst looking back on your living accommodation growing up!

Can't see either of our salaries jumping anytime soon but perhaps in 5 years or so?

Can you put a garden office on the garden?

My son has just gone to Uni. We live in a 3 bed HA home, but his bedroom is tiny wheras his sisters and my rooms are bigger. Mot massive, but big enough.
DS went to a private school on a scholarship and bursary, so went to friends houses where their playrooms were bigger than our entire house, but likelwise friends came to ours,and many of them loved coming and hanging at ours, even though they were cramped in DS room, all on the bed (only room for 1 chair and his corner desk) playing games, or downstairs eating pizzas and watching TV>

He said he loved his room, although he did say his uni halls seem massive in comparrison!

Personally I wouldn’t have another child if two would have to share as when they get older they like space of their own. I would probably stay but just not have another one but everyone’s different.

I grew up in a shared bedroom until I left for college. I didn't particularly like it but there was no other option as we had elderly relatives living with us. It would suit some kids more than others I guess.

Having another child is none negotiable for us ☺️

We have so much love to give and are able to provide another child with a good/excellent quality of life albeit they may have to live in a tiny bedroom for a few years, until it's more feasible for us to upsize!

So your children won't have to share a bedroom so long as a bed will fit in the box room. I had the tiniest box room until I left home at 18 and it didn't bother me a bit.

I grew up in a house that had 4 bedrooms but 3 of them were singles and quite small.
I had my own room but because it was so small there wasn’t enough storage so it was always a mess which was stressful for both me (and my sibling who had the same problem) and my mum. So if you stick with the small house, invest in storage!

Would sharing mean bunk beds or would they have a bit of their own area within the room? Firstly changing the bedding on the upper bunk of bunk beds/on high sleepers is very annoying, but also I do think their own space is very important as they get older.

I grew up in a tiny house. For a couple of years we were so poor I shared a mattress on the floor with my siblings. It didn’t matter to me at all as a small child but we were in the countryside and I had complete freedom to roam the fields. However I do think if you have opposite-sex siblings it doesn’t really work with them sharing after about the age of 8. My parents partitioned the room when we got older.

I’d say that overall you’ve got up to about 8 years to work on this either way.

We lived in an average sized 3 bed semi with DD and DS three years apart. They shared because we’re needed a home office.

When they were 4 and 7 we moved to a bigger 3-bed semi… pretty much the same house, just bigger all around. The difference is that we now have two separate rooms downstairs, lots of off-road parking, we can fit a table in the kitchen, a small sofa across the living room rather than an armchair, and a bit of furniture in the hall. We have good access to the back of the house and a great garden. DC shared for about 2 years here too while we did renovations.

So it’s not just the size of the house but the layout and how you want to live that’s important. Also think about how the house and garden may need to work with teens.

OK so my thoughts are our situation is probably ok for a few more years, little one is only 2 but I think as we start hitting double figures, dc are unlikely to be as happy sharing a room or live in a tiny box room with no space other than the bed.

Now I need to work out how much we would need to save or earn to upside in another 6 or 7 years, hard to know though where house prices will be by then! Its also hard to save whilst on maternity but I should be very grateful if I am lucky enough to have another baby so wont complain there 😬

@Apricotmuffino If the second child is non negotiable for you you’ll just have to wing it anyway! I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it work.

I shared with my brother until 6 and don’t have many memories of it and was perfectly happy. When we moved, it was to a 3 bed with 2 doubles and 1 box room.

I don’t think children mind the size of their rooms so I think you’d be fine until secondary school using the smallest bedroom as a bedroom. It would only be once they need room for a desk and they’re larger you would need more space.

The size of my house never bothered me as a child. The only thing that bothered me as an older teenager was that it wasn’t as well decorated as some of my friends houses.

We are in a 2 bed end terrace, 2 up 2 down, double bedrooms. We’ve just had a second baby who is now 8 months and our eldest is 4.5 they will eventually share. We want another baby so are hoping to move to a 3 bed, the girls would still share. I was an only child and grew up in large houses. I do not see a problem whatsoever with them sharing.

Nope, never thought about it at all. It's better to be present and happy. Four kids and one Mum in a 3 bed. The 4 of us shared one room for a while. We would play markets sometimes and barter to swap toys as the bunk beds were positioned so that it looked like some kind of Vietnamese market. Nothing wrong with sharing at all.

Until I was 10 I lived in a 2 bedroom flat with my parents and 2 sisters. All 3 of us shared a small bedroom - we had bunks and a single bed in an L shape arrangement
I don't remember really ever being aware of the fact that our place was small. We played outside all the time (this was the 60s/70s) so we really just ate and slept in our flat (at least that's my memory of it)
We moved into a 3 bed council house when I was 10 - I still shared a bedroom with my younger sister until my older sister moved out to get married. It was the norm in those days - most of my friends shared bedrooms

I had, until last Christmas, 3 kids in a 3 bed semi D. My DS has autism and would be impossible to share with. My DDs shared, from when youngest was about 1.5. It was OK for a bit but by time DD1 was 10-11 she got very fed up of her sister being constantly around her. Nowhere quiet to do her arty stuff, read, homework, have a friend round. We converted attic and got 4th bedroom. DD1 is so much happier since she got her own room.

We went from being mortgage free to now having a big mortgage again (also got downstairs extension, complete renovation etc) but its been worth every penny. Im less stressed in the kitchen as I have more room, the kids have more space to play etc.
If I were you id go ahead with baby but start saving to move or extend in 8-10 years time. We got a box dormer in the attic to make it into a proper room.

@Apricotmuffino to answer your question I was one of 4 and grew up in a 3 bed house, with Nana who had her own room. At one stage all four of us shared a large room with a bunk bed and a double bed. I’m 3 of 4 so maybe my view of it was different but I absolutely loved it! Being sent to my room was never a punishment - it’s where my favourite people were - we stayed up chatting late most nights, I never even thought about privacy. When I was about 11 we moved to a bigger house - I shared with one sibling then and then the other 2 had their own rooms . I only look back on my childhood with fond memories and I consider myself and all my siblings successful.

My sister has 3 kids in a 3 bedroom high rise in London. The teenage girls share and boy has his own room. They’re all v well adjusted kids, happy, doing brilliantly in school.

Mumsnet seems to have extremes of opinions on here. If you came back on here a year later because you were struggling with money after moving, I’m sure you would have be berated for moving and told you should have put up. The bottom line is most of us can’t have it all, all at the same time- although social media tells us we can. Everyone has different hard lines but I would much rather nice experiences/ holidays/ calm and happy parents than my own bedroom but none of the above

Finally as you say a lot can change in a decade - by the time you feel the children may want their own room you won’t be paying for childcare etc and May financially be in a better place to move

Interesting to hear from others if you dont mind sharing your thoughts whilst looking back on your living accommodation growing up!

The thing is...things just aren't the same as when many of us grew up, are they? When I was 18 (im 39 now so not all that long ago) if you'd had enough of sharing your room/living in your small home you could up and leave home on your minimum wage job and go get yourself a one bed flat. I did it at 18 on my salary pf £13,900 😂 And it was bloody lovely too, in a very nice area.

Kids now can't. Many more are stuck at home well into their 20's or beyond. And that's now, I dread to think what it will be like in 15 or 20 more years.

Don't look at your house and bedrooms and think of your 3 and 5 year old sharing or your 6 and 8 year old. Think of your house and imagine 4 adults living there. Think of two adults sharing that room - because that's far more likely to be the reality now.

People saying 'oh my kids are happy to share, go for it hun' are being naiive. Yes, i'm sure they are. They're kids. But do you think they'll be as happy in their bunk beds at 24 and 22? Doubt it.

I grew up in a box room that was tiny, a single bed with a wardrobe right next to it with just a few steps between the bed and the door. It was annoying at the time but nothing more than annoying and it has had no impact on my life.

We had 3 under 10 in one room growing up. Our 3 bed semi had a downstairs extension giving us a big playroom, living room and dining room. Had a massive garden too. Bedroom was for sleeping in and there was enough space downstairs to be apart if needed.

I would have hated having to share a bedroom with my sister as she could be a bit of a cow and would have dominated the space. I think you’d need to consider the third, tiny bedroom being used by one of the children in due course, even if they share when they’re younger

We lived in a 3 bed semi and the vast majority of people I knew also lived in a 3 bed semi. If there were 3 children in the family, then those of the same sex shared. It’s what everybody did then. We did move to a larger house when I was an older teenager, it was odd timing in a way but I think my parents wanted to move area and by that time they were able to afford a larger house. I’ve also lived in a 3 bed semi (well 2 bed and a tiny box room) all of my married life. We just have the one DC though (now adult and moved out).

A three bed house is more than fine for three kids. I thought you were taking about having four children at first.

Small bedrooms are fine, they don't need to share.

I grew up in a 3 bed house, in a family of 6, and it made me unhappy. I shared with my 2 sisters (my brother got a room to himself). I needed privacy and had a lot of MH issues and attempted suicide several times in my teens. I was keen to move out as soon as I could, and when I left home to go to uni I never returned. I have 3 dcs in a 4 bed house and would not have had that many if I couldn't give them their own rooms.

Two kids, each with their own room (no matter how small) is perfect. The tiny room might work well with thoughtful small room storage-bed