What is the most smug thing someone has said to you?

[Forgottenidentity]

I can think of a few…

He only has to look at me and I get pregnant.
(I just had an ectopic pregnancy)

We are lucky in my family… we don’t get cancer. ( just after my husband was diagnosed)

Knowing my Mum had dementia and things were particularly difficult at that stage friend asked how things were going after explaining how bad things were getting said well my Mums doing great and proceeded to talk about how well her Mum was, when Mum did die friend said people who die at that age must not have looked after themselves very well, friend can have a sting in the tail sometimes but these comments were especially insensitive.

I hope the cleaner cleaned the toilet first and used the same cloth for the rest of the house

I was a fantastic parent with endless opinions and wisdom until I actually had a child. Now I’m like everybody else….. winging it and realising I knew sod all.

Exactly this!

To be honest you sound ghastly

I hope you told her that (but then I'm mean 😄)

To be honest, quite a few of these anecdotes are just things some people think but the person listening was sensitive to them at that particular point in time, or for a particular reason so interpreted them in a negative light.

Saying you can get pregnant easily, is just what it is. It would only ever be received negatively if the listener was struggling to conceive, otherwise it’s a neutral statement.
Likewise saying you can eat what you like and maintain a stable weight . It’s not being smug, and is only viewed as negative if the person listening is not happy with their own body.

when I am sensitive about certain issues, I often realise I think people are smug when they talk about them, and that they are annoying people, when actually it’s mostly just me, feeling down about things.

Obviously I would never intentionally hurt someone else’s feelings, and if I know them well I know enough about them to be aware of bigger worries, but in a larger group of people there will always be someone who will find parts of daily chat difficult to hear.

"[my daughter] does what I tell her to do" - trying to point out why I was a crap parent.

That statement later bit her on the arse, mind.

Stupid thing to say. But actually I think we are programmed to think ours are the most beautiful EVER.

I recall having an earnest discussion with DH when DS1 was a baby. I was not sure if I should take him to baby groups because all the other mothers would be so jealous he was so beautiful.

In the end I stopped taking him because he was so developmentally delayed in everything (SEN and LDs) that I got sick of all the patronising and often faux sympathetic 'advice' I got from other mothers. Particularly one who loved to show case how much better at everything parenting related she was.

He's still utterly gorgeous however. ❤

Oh crikey, I have been known to say this in jest & I have never previously thought of myself as smug.

The irony

I’m so glad I didn’t bother with nct second time around!

One I see on MN all the time - "my child achieved all 9s at GCSE and all A* at A level"

"I don't know why you bothered having your son when you're always at work."
"An only child is a lonely child."
"I don't know how you can bear to put your child in a nursery. I couldn't stomach it."

All from the same woman who worked 2 days a week as her husband made loads of money and her mum looked after her 3 kids for free.

"You just have to have regular date nights and breaks away, it's really unhealthy for your marriage if you don't."

This was a friend who I do really like but who didn't seem to understand that some of us just dont have grandparental babysitting options. Evening babysitting cost a fortune and child free holidays were out of the question. The odd occasion when her mum/in-laws couldn't babysit she'd be really annoyed and was horrified at the suggestion she could pay for a babysitter like me. Coincidentally she's now divorced and I am not.

To be fair, we've probably all said things that sound smug to other people, without even realising. It's best not to assume every random remark is directed your way, and even if it is then it doesn't actually change anything (other than perhaps realising someone isn't that great a friend, depending on a variety of factors).

That's not smug, that's rude.
(To be fair, I have sometimes thought that regarding impractical or badly made shoes, but wouldn't actually say it. The same applies when someone is too cold while wearing a t-shirt in December).

The threads here on MN from people worrying about the insufficiency of their enormous salary or pension

Yes, falls under the 'humble brag' category I'm told.

My narc mother after pretending a conversation me, her and my dying Dad had didn’t exists to my siblings who just went along with her not to upset her “you should know I always get my own way” on the day of my Dads funeral.

My MIL does that about my dc. Apparently my youngest goes to bed without fuss, sleeps all night and happily eats onions when he's with her.

Please you have to bring this up when you see her next!

"Just cook his favourite meal and he'll be back in no time" with smug/knowing expression.

My FIL popped round recently and I was exhausted and drained after a few sleepless nights with my four week old baby. When he arrived, I was struggling to settle the baby, and he stood over me and smugly said “oh he is always settled and calm when I hold him.”
FIL sees the baby for about half an hour a week and spends about 10mins holding him. I snapped back “I’m sure he is when you hold him for 10mins a week, try being with him 19 hours a day and see if he’s always so settled for you then!”

She does this awful simpering smirk when she says things like that. So it's both I'd say.

I don't see how she's know my shoes were badly made. They looked really good! Mind you she wears Birkins that are so tacky they look fake. 😐🤣

I find posts like this a bit harsh. Are people who have had some good fortune just never allowed to speak about their own lives? Telling a friend about a holiday seems fairly normal conversation, or is it not in case they're offended as they can't do the same?

This reminds me of my mother. My oldest DS has serious sensory issues with food. When he was about 3 years old she told me proudly 'See, he ate a piece of banana for me'. Cue DS1 projectile vomiting all over the rug.