I miss leftovers... share your stories of living with adult children to cheer me up

[Philthefridge]

So, DS has been living with us post a four year degree before starting a job and moving out for good.

I love him. I really do. He's a decent person and all the below is to be taken as minor issues. But I need some fellow feeling! DH and I can laugh about it all, but...

We never have leftovers. I can no longer wander into the kitchen (I work from home) and have a delicious something because it's all gone, if not during the meal then at 1am when hunger pangs have struck. Whole pies! The food shopping is through the roof.

Our energy bills have shot up. I can't work out exactly why. But they have.

I am always wrong - factually or ideologically. I'm generally seen as fairly well informed but not now. Last night I was put right on the correct use of a salt cellar. Bonus points if what I say would not be welcomed on specific internet discussion boards.

My TV now has subtitles on it. I hate them, they distract me. But apparently they are essential if we watch together.

Clearing up will happen if I ask for it to be done. If I don't, he didn't realise there was a mess. I need to be explicit in my suggestion that plates left on top of a dishwasher or rubbish left next to a bin make their final journeys without my involvement. When I finish work at 6pm, stagger into the kitchen to find what looks like the remains of a fully catered corporate event and raise an objection I am asking too much as he was going to get round to it.

The way we cook is wrong but he would be too nervous to cook for us unfortunately. He will and does cook meals for himself if we're not around but otherwise is keen just to observe and offer feedback on our cutting techniques/rice preparation/ingredient selection.

Tell me I'm not alone...

@Willthiswork12 do get a grip1

I love our salt pig!

You first

Calm down darling xxx

My eldest DD has just started college overseas. I always knew that she was higher maintenance than my younger DD but I’m at a loss as to what to do with myself. My laundry pile has more than halved. The bin barely ever needs emptying. The paper towel lasts forever! The cleaning is so much more manageable. I really, really miss her company - she rarely left my side 😂 but I don’t miss the work she created.

I had my adult son living with us for a few months and he drove me mad. He just ate anything he fancied from the cupboards or the fridge and never replaced anything. This meant that when I went to the fridge to take out the food to make the supper for us it had gone. He often didn't eat with us, though this would have been easier.
He had mental health problems at the time so it was hard to be straightforward and ask him not to do it. He's fine now and living fairly close, he often invites me over for a meal which is nice.

At one stage we had three of our four children still living at home aged from 21 to 27. They showed no signs of leaving, so eventually we sold the house and downsized - we did help them find places to live, it was so wonderful to be on our own at last.

Ah I loved that spell when they came back from uni before moving out for good.
I never have music or radio on but DS2 could not function without 24 hour Spotify.
DS1 loved to explain to me the finest details of some mathematical theory.
Food bill doubles overnight. Showers take half an hour.
However on subtitles I got the habit from them. I'm a bit deaf anyway and even with hearing aids everything is better with subtitles.

This was my favourite time. You've got over being sad at them going to uni, got used to being just two of you again. It's a bonus few months and then you wave them off to their new life.
The good thing about them leaving

Oh god yes - the number of bottles, jars and little pots of stuff in the fridge!
No space for the milk or butter....

I have three sons… one very easy going and the other two not so much.

Youngest is mean tbh. I love him but he picks at me all the time. Texts me when I am at work to ask what’s for tea and tell me the dog is fat. I lost a lot of weight and he regularly complains he prefers ‘fat mum’ as there would be food in the house.

I am of course a snowflake/ woke/ the problem if I complain about anything. I have a sky package I never use and a Vinted account that’s just used to pick things up for others. I come in to washing up and back out to demands of protein puddings and clean pants.

I have quite a senior job and yet find it hard to stand up to him (which I know is ridiculous) Its almost embarrassing to talk about it in RL- I have one friend in a similar situation so I don’t feel judged!

have just seen the light hearted bit….. I am not judging anyone else nor expect my little cherub to be judged. I am hoping slowly he grows out of it. He would say he is just being ‘honest’ and perhaps I am a bit sensitive but… well… you know.

At least I have the fat dog :)

@stomachamelon I’m so sorry. That sounds like a hard situation. Please don’t be embarrassed to ask for support from your friends. Our dynamics with our kids are so complex and posts on talkboards just won’t convey everything you’ve got playing in your head.

Meanwhile I was out tonight doing a mysterious hobby and when I got back DS had eaten the all food bought for his sibling, who has extremely restricted eating. The freezer and fridge were full of food he could happily have eaten but he fancied that. He was oblivious rather than malicious but it means finding time tomorrow to go back to the one shop that sells this specific food two days after the weekly shop was done. Argh.

I'm nott the one being vile about someone I don't even know. Or derailing a funny thread

Bloody hell, you haven't got to go directly to the salt mine have you?

He generally finds the large plastic salt bottles acceptable for cooking from apparently. I on the other hand am trying to buy big bags as they are cheaper and have less plastic. But neither is good for shaking on to chips, hence our need for a salt cellar as the old one has mysteriously disappeared.

In this situation, I would definitely be sending the offender on a shopping trip - hopefully then less likely to repeat the error.

5 adults in our house, all at various stages of learning to 'adult'.

@Philthefridge Good to know you're winning at the word game - I had a recent run of good results to the extent that he said he was suspicious I was cheating.

I think they find it hard to admit that their parents might actually know some stuff and so have to compete with the stuff they have so recently learnt - sort of a repeat of the 'look at me mummy' stage

I would do this in a heartbeat but unfortunately the specific shop is only accessible by car and he doesn't drive... However he is doing a school pick up for me today!

Yes. In our case he is a scientist (properly a scientist) and we are not so there will always be a bit of pity in him for us, that we just don't get it. (We are not in general considered ignorant and are in fact banned from the PTA quiz as we kept winning, so we do know some things!).

It changes!! Ds bought a house and after years of seemingly thinking we know nothing it was quite amazing when he began to realise that yes we did know about buying a house, fitting a kitchen, doing diy!!!! We became his go to for advice!!!!

Amazing! Good warning as I'll need to know some things about DIY...

Oh yes.
There was a brief period at uni when phone calls home were always about food, how to cook x,y, or z.
When they bought houses I was suddenly the fount of knowledge about conveyancing despite not having bought a house for 40 years.
Now it's gardening, decorating and DIY.

No, what's embarrassing is you didn't get what op meant