I miss leftovers... share your stories of living with adult children to cheer me up

[Philthefridge]

So, DS has been living with us post a four year degree before starting a job and moving out for good.

I love him. I really do. He's a decent person and all the below is to be taken as minor issues. But I need some fellow feeling! DH and I can laugh about it all, but...

We never have leftovers. I can no longer wander into the kitchen (I work from home) and have a delicious something because it's all gone, if not during the meal then at 1am when hunger pangs have struck. Whole pies! The food shopping is through the roof.

Our energy bills have shot up. I can't work out exactly why. But they have.

I am always wrong - factually or ideologically. I'm generally seen as fairly well informed but not now. Last night I was put right on the correct use of a salt cellar. Bonus points if what I say would not be welcomed on specific internet discussion boards.

My TV now has subtitles on it. I hate them, they distract me. But apparently they are essential if we watch together.

Clearing up will happen if I ask for it to be done. If I don't, he didn't realise there was a mess. I need to be explicit in my suggestion that plates left on top of a dishwasher or rubbish left next to a bin make their final journeys without my involvement. When I finish work at 6pm, stagger into the kitchen to find what looks like the remains of a fully catered corporate event and raise an objection I am asking too much as he was going to get round to it.

The way we cook is wrong but he would be too nervous to cook for us unfortunately. He will and does cook meals for himself if we're not around but otherwise is keen just to observe and offer feedback on our cutting techniques/rice preparation/ingredient selection.

Tell me I'm not alone...

I feel you on the subtitles thing. It’s so bloody distracting. Luckily mine went through the Korean drama thing in mid teens.

Mine are female so don’t seem to have the raging appetite that boys have, and happily cook for themselves, but boy is it annoying when we’re sitting down to chill out at 9pm and one decides it’s a good time to start banging around cooking dinner. And then gets a sulk on when we say kitchen closed at 7pm 😬

Agree with this.

For mine it stems from watching tv in their rooms late at night and having the sound low and subtitles on so the rest of the house isn’t disturbed.

Blame the parents.

Oh, I do!

Oh OP, surely you’ve been on MN long enough to know that if you have even a lighthearted rant about your offspring that a) it’s all your fault, because of your piss poor parenting and b) their children are nothing like that because of their far superior parenting.
It’s completely normal for young adult offspring to behave like arseholes when still living in the family home. A biological thing, even. It’s because they’re ready to fly the nest, and you’re ready for them to go!

I have, I have. I tried to prevent accusations that I don't like him but I went fatally in the other direction and crowned him my wee prince by mistake!

He is chafing at us for not living the way he wants to live basically. I suspect he will be a bit like this forever with us, and we're fairly old gimmers, so not long really until he's telling us off for not remembering to put our teeth back in.

After all, MY parents never worked out how to live their lives in the right way.

Also I have googled salt pigs and feel they would make an ideal birthday present from him to me. So that's a great outcome.

AND I am beating him at the word game we play together every day. Not bad for someone of my abilities.

I’m 35 and love a subtitle!

I have lived away from home for almost as long as I lived at home now, and even when I go back for a visit, it’s so hard not to slip back into childhood personas. He’s probably just pushing back against that & going through the know-it-all, I’m really an important grown up phase.

Take him with a pinch of salt from the salt cellar, keep good-hearted laughing at him.

Also my parents were very working class done good and I went to a posh uni with v posh friends, so there was an element of “doing things differently” that I was fighting against.

DH is v MC & our lifestyle is now v MC, which I know my parents really struggle with when they come to stay with us. So you will get your revenge!

Sounds pretty familar. Except I have two of them. My DD who graduated last year, and DS who graduated this year.

They almost tidy up, but somehow never quite completely. And there can definitely be a longer delay than I would like.

It's like sharing a house with two other adults who don't pull their weight. I'm quite over it now!

I think you’re lovely and I totally understand what you mean. One day you’ll both look back and laugh about the things he said and did. Treasure every day, you’ll miss him when he moves out. That’s your child when all said and done.

This thread is very timely for us parents mourning the departure of our DC to university. Thank you for your service!

I remember my son telling me his palate had changed to appreciate the finer things in life after he moved out. Yeah right!

When post-uni DD moves out, our water bill and my car insurance will fall!

OP - you should have added "light-hearted" and a <tinkly little laugh> to your first post to stop people telling you what a shit your son is and what a mug you are 😊

I hate 'light-hearted' but it does appear to be MN lingua franca. It doesn't always work anyway.

@RedMetamorphosis DH and I are both much separated from our parents in terms of being seen as a bit above ourselves, and have very different life experiences, and I think/hope we won't have that with our children. Being of the first generation to go to university, we've definitely had to work over the years against accusations of thinking we're better than we are, and that's not a dynamic we'll be repeating. We both feel we have more of a friendship with our kids than we had with our own parents.

That said, everyone has moved on a bit all these years later and the most serious conflict when visiting parents now tends to come down to accusations that we like weird cheese. And we are old enough to keep our opinions on their lives to ourselves.

Back to the topic of the thread, I find on visiting the fridge to examine my lunch options that the last bit of apple crumble has gone, presumably for brunch.

I three young adults at home. I’m sure everyone involved would love them all to get their own flat but London.

Anyway this week’s issue is sauces. There is no room in my fridge because (I counted),
we have 34 different sauces in there. I told them all to move out and take their sauce with them. (All were aware this was an empty threat born of exasperation. I am very fond of them all).

Hot sauces!!! DH is in on this one but the pair of them have an ever expanding hot sauce collection.

'She's 26 and likes explaining things'

😂

This resonates!! DS18 has just gone to uni. Hurrah!!!!

I’ve been cooking for well over 40 years and have been told I’m going done things wrong because he’s seen some random video on TikTok 🙄. He can cook… but OMG. The mess. And the AMOUNT. And the FREQUENCY!!! If he’s not doing sport he’s eating.

im going to enjoy the next few months.

I'm surprised how I managed to know everything when I was 18 without access to social media. No wonder this lot are so well informed!

I'm currently rather enjoying DSS's new girlfriend - they don't live with us but we see them a lot. I'm enjoying the fact that she's the only person in the world who has ever been 'travelling'. Despite the fact I hitchiked round the world at the age of 18 before the internet, when plane tickets were paper, and you had to book an international phone call.

She's lovely, funny, beautiful, energetic, bright, enthusiastic and has got him well and truly off his arse - but yes...she's the only person who has ever been travelling.

My best friend's father used to say 'when I was 20 I couldn't believe how little my parents knew, but when I was 30 I was astonished how much they'd learned'.

After all, today I found out about salt pigs.

@Willthiswork12 do get a grip