How do I uncoil my really stressed and tense body?

[Thebluespoon]

I have been under a lot of stress over the last 7 or so years, as soon as one stressful situation is over then another rears its ugly head. It is really taking it's toll on my body and I can't seem to ease it, no matter what I try.

I have always been an anxious person and I suppose my body just natureally goes into a kind of tensed up default mode. I was also diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year which I am still trying to make sense of (this may or may not be relevant, I really don't know as it is still all new to me).

There are some chronic health issues which I have been suffering from for a couple of decades and the stressful things in my life are exacerbating them which then causes more anxiety and therefore more tension. I really drives me insane.

My body is in fight or flight all the time. I have tmj disorder from night time bruxism, general daily jaw clenching and achy jaw and neck (I have bitten through 4 mouth guards, they really don't help me), my face aches, constant 'coat hanger pain' from tense shoulders, neck and back of head, daily IBS and functional dyspepsia which is very much anxiety driven, headaches, eye ache, lower back ache (although I do have disc degeneration so that could be the cause of that), tension in all my limbs, a weird fuzzy/ tingly feeling in the tip of my right index finger (probably from shoulder tension?) and on it goes..........

Every day I practise yoga, I walk my dog over beautiful countryside twice a day (nature grounds me). I listen to the Calm app every day with daily meditations and night time sleep stories. I don't drink any alcohol or any caffeine products, in fact I only drink water. I eat carefully due to my IBS. I try to get as much sleep as possible although I dream very heavily and always wake and feel as though I have slept on a cobbled street. I do all of these things to help me but it's as though I am a coiled spring because even though all of these lovely strategies feel so nice and relaxing at the time, as soon as they stop my body reverts back to the coiled spring default mode.

As much as I would love to try some acupuncture, full body massges etc I simply can not afford them but am so desperate to feel less tense and wound up all day. It is absolutely draining and I am constantly knackered (all my bloods come back as ok, except for my folate which is a bit low but GP says it's still ok).

Can anyone suggest anything which may help me unwind, anything to take this tension away?

I used the antihistamine sleep aids sometimes, and that really does relax the body as well as knocking me out.

I could have written those exact words. In my case the worst thing is insomnia. It’s as if my body doesn’t feel safe enough to let go. Recently I’ve been reading up on polyvagal therapy and one book I highly recommend is The Vagus Nerve Protocol by Adele Payne. It gives you 28 little exercises that teach your body to feel safer. Lots of them are obvious (be in nature) but I find the scientific explanations help to convince me. I’ve spent all my 64 years being reactive (CPTSD) and it’s helpful and comforting. Sending solidarity and best wishes

Working with your vagus nerve may help. Lots of different approaches can start simple with things like cold water on face or humming. TRE is good and easy to do at home or in an online class till you get the hang of it. Look up David Berceli on YouTube

I started Hatha Yoga a few months ago and it released so much of the tension I held, including the consistent pain in my lower back. It also helps me to sleep like a baby.

I don't think there is anything like stress piled on stress over a period of years to bring a person down. It takes a long time to climb back out of the hole and find yourself - or a new self again.

Like you OP I find solace in nature and getting out into green spaces every day is essential for me. It keeps me balanced.

Do you have a garden as I find working with nature in my garden, growing things, nurturing them is hugely calming and the work, fresh air and exercise of it helps me sleep much better.

The single biggest thing that helps me is swimming. I swim in the sea every day now and also in any river, lake or pool that I can get my hands on. It's the first thing I do every day. It eases my mind and body and hugely reduces aches and pains. If you love nature as we do there is just something so incredible about swimming in open water - the being at a level with nature, the submerging yourself in it. If you have opportunity and are able I would so strongly recommend giving it a try.

Life can be so hard. I hope you find comfort and peace.

Breathwork
Mindfulness meditations
Massage. Not as expensive as they sound my massage therapist charges £20

Your body is in constant flight or fight mode. Adrenal glands are active. Cortisol levels need investigation.

Imagination and perception about something subconsciously could be active.
For example everything in life is perfect but there's an overriding sense of doom.

This video may help – however to fix this issue you need to deal with the root cause; the stressors and the belief that you've always been an anxious person.

Try vagus nerve stimulation

Thank you everyone. I will go through all of the replies later and try the suggestions. Much appreciated.

Any particular videos, books etc you’d recommend

Hi OP. Also sounds like you need a massive dose of magnesium glycinate before bed and a new mattress.

Second swimming but I recommend a pool because nothing would make me more stressed than the idea of swallowing duck poo or having eels around my legs!

Yin yoga is also wonderful though as you already do yoga you may have done that one already.

I also have ADHD. As a PP mentioned, my psychiatrist recommended vagus nerve stimulation. I started by lying down with an ice pack on the base of my neck. I thought that was so good that when I was in the shower, I tried squirting myself at the end with cold water, which is especially nice on the face and Neck. Also - magnesium in the evenings to help with sleep.

Magnesium baths, for at least 20 minutes, right before bed

Epsom salt baths for muscles. Sauna. Swimming.Gets your body moving, which gets blood flowing to the muscles, which untenses them.

Hot milk before bed and Magnesium glycinate before bed can help with sleep.

Ashwaganda can help with nervous system. YMMV.

none of this is a quick fix, but are elements you can add in.

For a quick yet - sadly - temporary fix, look for an osteopath who offers myofascial relief. That basically means untensing muscles. You will probably feel immediately lighter. Although it costs, regular treatments could give you the basis to adopt other helpful elements. And, your nervous system will experience calm again, which can help it feel safe and reduce muscle tension over time.

Also have a look at the neurodivergent nervous system. Megan Anna Neff writes well on it.

Good luck

There are devices for vagus nerve stimulation but they are ££££ you can do the same with a £30 tens machine and an ear clip device for tens (search on Amazon to see). There are particular levels of stimulation / frequencies that have been researched so look up transcutaneous vagal nerve stimulation (pubmed provides research papers but AI might be able to help)

Have a look at the Havening Technique.
It can be used as a one off treatment for ptsd and trauma. With regular practice you can train your brain and physical body to feel safe and relaxed and while it’s great to work with a therapist, there’s loads of information and practices available online for free.
Paul McKenna on YouTube is a good place to start x

I’ve been having similar issues for a couple of years and have found this book really helpful. https://healyournervoussystem.com/book/

There’s a wider website as well, and lots of practical breathing and visualisation techniques. It’s really helped me, so wanted to share here.

There's a highly qualified occupational therapist near me with expertise in sensory integration and she recommended therapeutic listening for my autistic son to help regulate and calm him down. I'm sure it would work for adults too. Maybe look into it.

You're already doing yoga and mediation... if you were able to do a retreat I'm sure that would help - there are sometimes all-day events as well as overnights and weekends.

Also recommend baths and swimming, especially if the pool has a jacuzzi - I find them so relaxing.

Buy a relaxation tape for breathing, and practice, practice, practice. I can now relax by putting my shoulders down. It does take time,but you can use it anywhere without anyone knowing.

There's a lot of videos on you tube, things connected to Stephen Porges would have some credibility but the techniques are the same taught by various people 🙂

you sound like me except I don’t have a dog or live in the countryside

Yoga, sauna, acupuncture and osteopath are all helpful.

Havd you read The Body Keeps the score?

Somatic experiencing, vagus nerve stimulation, breathing, chi gong, moving, exercising, time in nature.
What is the root cause of your stress? Work? Personal issues?
You need to get rid of those to begin with

I find I relax more and get more deep, restful sleep with a hot water bottle or heated blanket in bed

Definitely vagus nerve work.

also there’s an amazing book called “breath” which I’m working through. There are techniques that really work there.

of you are adhd it may be that you need more proprioceptive work and the yoga is great for that. On top of that you may find some resistance training helpful too - I have found it to be very grounding once I got into it. And sorted out aches and pains over time (if done progressively and with adequate rest to avoid doms!)

you should be able to pick up a shakti mat from Vinted - many swear by them (I need to dust mine off!) which is acupressure. It helps pain and sleep.

i have a lumpy foam roller for rolling my back and a spiky rubber ball for lower back and bottom. I like to lie on a half foam roller that was less than a tenner. It was a physio suggestion ages ago and really helps upper back relax.

re folate, it doesn’t hurt to take a b complex and there’s a lot of solid evidence for b complex with omega 3 fish oils for brain health/ anxiety.

Something like berrocca, a store version or I quite like together health. Would have some extra folate in.

On top of that eat a lot more leafy greens for magnesium (calming) and folate