How do I uncoil my really stressed and tense body?

[Thebluespoon]

I have been under a lot of stress over the last 7 or so years, as soon as one stressful situation is over then another rears its ugly head. It is really taking it's toll on my body and I can't seem to ease it, no matter what I try.

I have always been an anxious person and I suppose my body just natureally goes into a kind of tensed up default mode. I was also diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year which I am still trying to make sense of (this may or may not be relevant, I really don't know as it is still all new to me).

There are some chronic health issues which I have been suffering from for a couple of decades and the stressful things in my life are exacerbating them which then causes more anxiety and therefore more tension. I really drives me insane.

My body is in fight or flight all the time. I have tmj disorder from night time bruxism, general daily jaw clenching and achy jaw and neck (I have bitten through 4 mouth guards, they really don't help me), my face aches, constant 'coat hanger pain' from tense shoulders, neck and back of head, daily IBS and functional dyspepsia which is very much anxiety driven, headaches, eye ache, lower back ache (although I do have disc degeneration so that could be the cause of that), tension in all my limbs, a weird fuzzy/ tingly feeling in the tip of my right index finger (probably from shoulder tension?) and on it goes..........

Every day I practise yoga, I walk my dog over beautiful countryside twice a day (nature grounds me). I listen to the Calm app every day with daily meditations and night time sleep stories. I don't drink any alcohol or any caffeine products, in fact I only drink water. I eat carefully due to my IBS. I try to get as much sleep as possible although I dream very heavily and always wake and feel as though I have slept on a cobbled street. I do all of these things to help me but it's as though I am a coiled spring because even though all of these lovely strategies feel so nice and relaxing at the time, as soon as they stop my body reverts back to the coiled spring default mode.

As much as I would love to try some acupuncture, full body massges etc I simply can not afford them but am so desperate to feel less tense and wound up all day. It is absolutely draining and I am constantly knackered (all my bloods come back as ok, except for my folate which is a bit low but GP says it's still ok).

Can anyone suggest anything which may help me unwind, anything to take this tension away?

Calm app - superb.

Definitely been where you are now. Have you seen a dentist about your tmj problems? I put mine down to stress but some dental treatment helped relieve some of the physical tension in my face. Deep heat balm on neck and shoulders, massaging the face and jaw, and using a heated eye mask also help me.

It sounds like you're burnt out from a lifetime of masking your ADHD and your stressful life - unfortunately it will take some time for you to heal.

This is a heavy listen but he helpfully lists the key takeaways for proven vagus nerve techniques, then you can jump to the relevant part of the podcast:

https://podcastnotes.org/huberman-lab/control-your-vagus-nerve-to-improve-mood-alertness-neuroplasticity-huberman-lab/

My mum has Alzheimer's and I care for her. She is due to go in a care home at some point. It's been a long 7 years.

I permanently have a hot water bottle and a heated pelvic tens machine for my endometriosis. I don't think I could live without either.

I have spoken to my dentist about it, she recommended Botox in the jawline but it was very expensive.

Have you thought about reflexology?

A shakti mat and magnesium before bed

I've had quite a bit of reflexology but sadly it's never helped although I do find it very relaxing at the time.

You've had some wonderful suggestions
I hope some of them help.

Funnily enough I went to an osteopath yesterday (I'm lucky, I can afford it - he is a bit of a miracle worker!) Because I've had nasty neck pain for a while. He did a full MOT. Was so worried he was going to say there was something wrong. But no.. he said I was stressed. I'm lucky in that I sleep well and my digestion is great. But like you I am in constant fight or flight and have terribly tight occipital and jaw muscles from clenching all day.

He taught me a couple of decent posture boosting stretches and exercises to get me more aligned, and clicked my neck. I feel much better - sure its a bit of placebo.

Have you thought of any kind of medication to break the cycle?

I also have ADHD btw. Known diagnosis since childhood. I have a lovely life but feel anxious and tense a lot of the time.

He also mentioned the vagus nerve thing. Keep us updated if you find anything that helps.

Bloody hell, OP. Endometriosis, ADHD, and caring for your mother who has Alzheimer's?! I'm not surprised you're stressed!

Do you live with your mother, do you care for her 24/7?

Thanks will check it out

Please never let anyone click your neck!! People have been paralysed from this - it isn’t safe.

Lots of other useful tips though. What about beta blockers?

SIRPA have some really interesting information about managing chronic pain and how it can interlink with conditions like IBS.
Things like mindfulness, journaling and getting out in nature can be good.
do you have time to exercise to do some resistance training as well as the yoga I found that really helped my aches and pains and tensions more than stretching alone.
shakti mats can be great at inducing deep relaxation. It uses the concept of acupressure.
4head stick for headaches are good, try to limit how much pain medication you’re using as that can lead to more headaches.
have you considered CBD oil?

if you go to a registered professional the chance of this happening is so small. Definitely more chance of walking out of a drs or hospital and being prescribed something that can have life changing negative effects because something has gone wrong.
Also you’re more likely to suffer a stroke at the hairdressers/barbers with you neck held in extension over the basins where you get your hair washed versus having you neck clicked or articulated by a registered healthcare professional.

Read SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES by Claire weekes.

Follow her plan. That's all you need.

I also could have written the OP, almost word for word. Thank you, I’m also going to try the advice but maybe an ongoing support thread for those of us who feel the same would be good?

Tensing and relaxing the muscles individually can help. What really worked for me was hypnosis but it wasn’t cheap.

Good quality Probiotics for the IBS may help. The gut does effect the mind. So settle your stomach and the rest may follow. I tried everything like you and ended up on sertraline. Best decision and wish I'd done it sooner from a quality of life perspective.

Lemon Balm Tea is very calming, you can drink several cups a day. This really works for me x

It’s really hard isn’t it? I have chronic stress and periods of flirting with burn out. I am currently in a stage where I just can’t seem to relieve it. I do a lot to try to help myself. But it’s not working and then every suggestion kind of feels like another thing on my to do list. Or you find something that does help and then it stops working.

I know an extremely knowledgeable herbalist (proper multiple degrees in it). We worked together earlier this year. Sounds weird but we made herbal teas and it really helped me tune into my body and what my nervous system was up to. The way she explains how herbs work was so interesting. I felt really supported.

No one has mentioned it here but I find intense exercise the best for my aches sore body. I do spin, weights or other fast paced gym classes. I really benefit from the boost of endorphins and find my back and shoulders are more relaxed once they’ve stopped being sore. I find yoga only get me so far.

I could have written your post. For me, Progressive Muscle Relaxation has helped.
Also, crying. Intense crying seems to have to opposite effect of stress hormones!

Yep, repetitive cardio exercise that gets the heart rate up. My GP said there have been studies done and this is one of the top ways to reduce stress. Also, IME the repetitive element is soothing (like a stim).

I had a similar situation in 2022. Basically my body started giving me some really weird symptoms and the drs thought I might have MS.
Turns out I was just burnt out and had been in fight or flight mode for too long.

I ended up going for regular accupuncture for a while. I know it’s not for everyone, but it really helped me. If I ever feel I’m getting too stressed out, I go for another session to calm my nervous system.