How do I uncoil my really stressed and tense body?

[Thebluespoon]

I have been under a lot of stress over the last 7 or so years, as soon as one stressful situation is over then another rears its ugly head. It is really taking it's toll on my body and I can't seem to ease it, no matter what I try.

I have always been an anxious person and I suppose my body just natureally goes into a kind of tensed up default mode. I was also diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year which I am still trying to make sense of (this may or may not be relevant, I really don't know as it is still all new to me).

There are some chronic health issues which I have been suffering from for a couple of decades and the stressful things in my life are exacerbating them which then causes more anxiety and therefore more tension. I really drives me insane.

My body is in fight or flight all the time. I have tmj disorder from night time bruxism, general daily jaw clenching and achy jaw and neck (I have bitten through 4 mouth guards, they really don't help me), my face aches, constant 'coat hanger pain' from tense shoulders, neck and back of head, daily IBS and functional dyspepsia which is very much anxiety driven, headaches, eye ache, lower back ache (although I do have disc degeneration so that could be the cause of that), tension in all my limbs, a weird fuzzy/ tingly feeling in the tip of my right index finger (probably from shoulder tension?) and on it goes..........

Every day I practise yoga, I walk my dog over beautiful countryside twice a day (nature grounds me). I listen to the Calm app every day with daily meditations and night time sleep stories. I don't drink any alcohol or any caffeine products, in fact I only drink water. I eat carefully due to my IBS. I try to get as much sleep as possible although I dream very heavily and always wake and feel as though I have slept on a cobbled street. I do all of these things to help me but it's as though I am a coiled spring because even though all of these lovely strategies feel so nice and relaxing at the time, as soon as they stop my body reverts back to the coiled spring default mode.

As much as I would love to try some acupuncture, full body massges etc I simply can not afford them but am so desperate to feel less tense and wound up all day. It is absolutely draining and I am constantly knackered (all my bloods come back as ok, except for my folate which is a bit low but GP says it's still ok).

Can anyone suggest anything which may help me unwind, anything to take this tension away?

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I would also focus on diet and where possible eat anti inflammatory foods: lots of greens, beans and pulses and reduce any fluids other than water.
I would also look into doing a team sport where you are with a group of other people doing something very physical. The social element as well as the physical is all good for those endorphins and it will really help with mental health on top.

Thank you. I'd love to see an osteopath, I'm saving up to see our local.one who is supposed to be great.

I have tried endless antidepressants but they upset my stomach badly.

Good luck, I hope you continue to feel better.

I don't live with mum as I have my own dc and dh, she lives around the corner from me, with my elderly father. I go to their house every day. My dad doesn't cope well as he too gets stressed and depressed so I try to help them out as much as possible.

I try to just take each day as it comes but it's the anticipatory grief which has been getting to me recently, mum is 7 years post diagnosis and it's the not knowing how much longer she has which leaves me on edge and anxious.

I have never been offered beta blockers. I shall ask my GP about those, thanks.

I have read her book but sadly it never helped me but I know many swear by her teachings.

I may dig out the book and try again though. Nothing to lose.

I'm so sorry you are going through a similar thing. I hope you can find something on here which helps you. Good luck.

I definitely believe this. For some unknown reason, I will experience around 1-3 'good' IBS days per month. No idea why, I keep a food and mood diary and can not find a link other than my cycle, so it could be hormonal too but on those 'good' days I feel so calm, I feel like a completely different person, if only that feeling would last.

When my digestive system is calm, I am too.

I cry a lot these days, it definitely helps release a lot of built up tension. After I feel physically drained but mentally calm. But I think my DH and DC are fed up with me bawling so often lol!

I really want to try acupuncture. I had a one off session at the beginning of the year and it was so relaxing but the practitioner said I'd probably need around 6-10 sessions and at £60 per hour it's not something my carers allowance can stretch to just now but I'm definitely keeping it in mind for the future. I've heard it's great for perimenopause too.

Sorry OP you have lots going on and I can only imagine the stress of supporting your parents whilst having a family and various health conditions.

it sounds like you are doing many things that can help but it’s very draining being on high alert and your nervous system being flooded.
Are you a registered carer for your parents? Is there any support you can access to help you? Can the Alzheimer’s society advise?

You could self refer to NHS Talking Therapies or see if a counsellor does a sliding scale fee if money is an issue, if having somewhere to process what’s going on for you could help.

Could you invest in a few remedial massages or lymphatic draining to help get your body out of crisis mode and then just have a top up to keep you on track. These can help with your health conditions but also stimulate your immune system. They aren’t cheap though so appreciate that might be not be easy. It’s having something to break the cycle.

A good health shop could advise on supplements. And your GP can suggest any medications or support services that could help.

Take care

Breath work and floatation tanks

If you have endo, a lot of your body pain likely originates in the pelvis/hips. I know it sounds wild to suggest it, but even my neck pain/headaches/ovulation & period migraines originate from this.

Osteopath works wonders, but as someone suggested it is sadly temporary and quite pricey. Yoga focused on the hips is something I find helpful. Try and keep your hips moving and mobile so the area doesn’t tense up against the pain of the endo. I do this while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or the bath to run or I’m brushing my teeth.

Not saying this is the root of the problem, but it definitely could be making it worse. People underestimate endo and think it’s just a pelvis thing but it really can affect the whole body.

Much hugs to you.

@Thebluespoon
have you had a carers assessment?
you are entitled to one every 12 months and if you qualify for an award you can spend the funds on things to help reduce your stress. Check it out with your local Age U.K. or carers support group. That could make a huge difference for you to get massage or treatments

This possibly won't be of any relevance to you. However I just wanted to say that I have had flat feet for years, along with a sore lower back. I recently purchased support insoles. They make me walk straighter. My sore back has disappeared. Apparently, the way we walk can cause pain in other areas.
You do sound absolutely overloaded, I hope that you can achieve some respite very soon.

the long acting ones can be very helpful. But put in place other things while you take them.

I only use them occasionally as now don’t like how they’ll reduce my heart rate when I’m exercising / sprint intervals.

I didn’t know this before I started doing intensive cardio (sprints and hitt) but I did notice that it was extremely good for aches and pains. (Anti inflammatory.)

i now find the same with resistance training, but definitely took a while to get into (and wasn’t pain free at first!)

@EmeraldLove hi! How many sessions did you have and what symptoms? I had one sessiond and hoping it helps me. My nerves system is going crazy. Ilx

@Thebluespoon how are u now? I coupd of written it myself x

I am not doing as much care as you are OP but it is the most draining thing I have ever experienced- especially with the anticipatory grief and how hard it is to see a loved one sinking.

Have you got a local carer’s charity? Where I am there is one that offers very discount massages for carers.

Save up for Botox on your jaw for bruxism. It’s a game changer. I found forehead botox stopped my grinding and it was such a relief, but you might need to go to the source. I find yin yoga before bed helps the tension. You can get good ones on YouTube. Do at least a half hour. Go and get a massage. I would prioritise that money over other things. If you really can’t afford it, try to do your neck and shoulders yourself.

Yoga, mindfulness & nature walks also help me. I found a few short mindfulness videos on YouTube by April Kerslake of The Priory, I find her voice so soothing. Be kind to yourself and I hope you find a solution that works for you xx

I could have written this, everything you’ve listed. I have huge tension from the various clenched areas, from head to toe and have tried multiple different remedies

@autienotnaughty hey! How manny sessions did you have of hypnotherapy for clenching? Im on my second session fo clenching. When im in hypnosis my pain all goes as my body is relaxed xx

I had about 12 sessions in total but i noticed an improvement after the second session