DS just bum shuffled and I could cry

[Zzxxyyzz]

I desperately don’t want him to be a bum shuffler but I knew it was likely to be on the cards because he has always hated tummy time and was pretty late to roll.

Bum shuffling is linked to all sorts of developmental delay, dyspraxia, dyslexia etc. I’ve just read a study that stated half of bum shufflers went on to be diagnosed with ASD.

I just feel very sad that I can see a tricky future mapped out for him. I will forever ask myself if we could have done more to encourage tummy time but in the early days he just screamed and screamed and in the later days he was just not fussed about it and would roll onto his back.

Crawling is so important for developing visual acuity, handwriting, visual spatial skills etc. I am just absolutely heartbroken for him.

DH bless him doesn’t have a clue about the implications and is sitting there cheering him and proudly videoing it 😔 I’ve had to come out of the room I just feel sick and so gutted.

But you have! I crawled for around two weeks before walking, very early on. No bum shuffling.

Aaaaand I have ADHD and dyspraxia.

Oh, and I’m a published author, reasonably senior in my field, an ultramarathon runner and the first female to eat a 2.5kg custard cream chocolate eclair making me third fastest in the country at the time…because no-one and nothing, certainly not any condition I have, is going to tell me what I can and can’t do, no matter how crazy 😂 I love my life, even when it has been hard.

Stop catastrophising about this. You have zero clue what is ahead for your kid. Let them shuffle their bum because honestly? They’re going to be fine no matter what the outcome is.

I think the responses on here are more a reaction to OP being ‘heartbroken’ and ‘gutted’, than merely throwing in a few anecdotes. OP isn’t going to enjoy her child much if she constantly overthinks stuff.

Where's this "research" from?

Thanks, I appreciate it’s Sunday night and people have probably had a drink or what have you. The Behaviour board can be quiet and I wanted a range of experiences. I didn’t need, expect, or deserve, the abuse.

@Zzxxyyzz no I'm not awful. I have never ever cried at any of my children achieving a milestone, not even my neurodiverse ones. Think how your son will feel when he's growing up and his dad is celebrating him and his mum is running out the room crying. That will affect his emotional well-being whether you want to believe it or not. You need to get a grip on life and celebrate your beautiful child before YOU cause unnecessary damage to him.
I have also never heard of the nonsense you are spouting. I've been educated up to masters level in child development. I've also done a lot of studying around trauma etc and a child feeling that they are a disappointment to their parents can and does affect their development. So stop it now and if you think there is an issue seek proper advice from a paediatrician or your health visitor. And also for your mental health needs because this is not normal at all.

Ds was a bum shuffler. He’s very intelligent but with terrible handwriting. Played football for a team, very sociable, did fine with GCSEs and now doing A levels.
You’re worrying too much. Your dc will be fine. If they need some extra support then support them.

Oh dear. I never crawled and neither did my teenage daughter. We are both fine and neither of us have been diagnosed with any of the things you say are linked. Enjoy your precious baby.

The thing that puts your child most at risk developmentally is your anxiety/neuroticism. Please get help - there are services available.

I am an adult with dyspraxia, it in no way shape or form holds me back. I have a good job, degree educated, lovely home, family and life! I had no delays as a child either. The only thing is I am a bit chaotic, clumsy and messy. There’s obviously more to say but it’s a superpower not a barrier.

Are you always this anxious and focused on something you have no control over @Zzxxyyzz ?

Is this really a thing? When mine were little the harbinger of doom was W sitting, which a consultant doc relative of mine told me was utter nonsense.
My eldest was a beautiful crawler, very sociable, had rudimentary pretend play put arms out to be held and went on to be diagnosed with ASD just after three because of significant language and communication delays.
Please try not to worry OP. There was a lovely programme about baby development about 10-15 years, narrated by Martin Clunes I think, where they said not all babies crawled and it was likely because they don't see adults doing it to copy from, so that's why you get all sorts of movement techniques from little ones.

Stop panicking. What you are saying is ridiculous and you are spiralling. Neither of my children crawled and neither have SEN.

So bloody what if he has got any of these things. You’re actually really offensive OP. My youngest has dyslexia, OCD, anxiety, probably ASD and dyspraxia. But she is also passionate about art and history, has a phenomenal work ethic and has worked incredibly hard to overcome her issues. She is a model student, young leader and the kid that other parents love to have around. You’re going to be miserable forever with your attitude and I pity your poor child.

Ok so to be fair my bum shuffler has shit handwriting. Didn’t stop her getting Greater Depth in all her SATs (even writing!) though.
Oh, she’s shit at hockey too. I don’t think those things will hold her back in life though.

I suspect he's not even picked up a pen yet so there's no cause for panic right now. I suggest if it makes you feel better, you keep that info, tuck it away somewhere and don't panic about his spelling until he's genuinely at a a point where it is obviously an issue. There is nothing you can do with this info right now other than just enjoy your baby.

I was a bum shuffler and I have none of those things and educated to degree level. Your son will be fine

I can't find good quality studies on incidence of dyspraxia/dyslexia in bum-shufflers. Perhaps if you point us in the direction of your original studies, those of us with training in medical statistics can appraise your sources for you.

Most of what is written on the subject from what I can see is physical therapy companies trying to scare the shit out of parents for something which for most children is a normal variant.

Of note - brother bum shuffler is a psychiatrist (no dyslexia/dyspraxia)
Son bum-shuffler is just turned 5 now, can easily write letters and has good fine motor skills (been playing with tiny pieces of lego since he was 3).

Im an anxious person and an anxious mum so I get it, but honestly, breathe.

And watch the episode of Bluey called Baby Race. Then have a cry, maybe look into some help for the anxiety, breathe again, and enjoy your precious kid.

I put a lot of time & energy in to encouraging my lo to crawl having read all the benefits .

He did and once he got it he crawled for months! Was gorgeous!!

skip forward 6 or so years we’re in process of getting an ehcp he really struggles with writing, possibly dyspraxia and awaiting a sensory integration assesment

he’s still gorgeous!!

may or may not have made a difference we’ll never know!!

just try & enjoy the moments! He’ll be who he is & you’ll love him xx

I walked at 8m, skipped crawling, and am dyspraxic.

I also passed my a levels with top results nationally, have an IQ a few marks short of the genius range, can play the drums competently in spite of dyspraxia, earn well if not spectacularly, and have lots of nice friends.

My sister's two - the bum shuffler is NT and the crawler has ASD.

Worrying a bit is normal - my son didn't really babble until 10m, for example, and took a little while to get going with speaking. I was watchful and concerned, but crying over it is excessive and is only borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

My nephew never crawled or bum shuffled but did walk at 8 months… he’s autistic.

I bum shuffled - socially fine, got As in GCSEs, distinction in my post grad… kindly, you need to chill.

I have children with a lot of various issues one crawled she went to university (autistic) one walked with no real in-between he is dyspraxic adhd the third was a bum shuffler he is autistic adhd

All three are hypermobile to some degree (middle one is the worse) which might explain why they didn't like to crawl DD literally learned to speak and ask for things rather than walk/crawl they just said she was a "lazy baby" ds1 walked fast but didn't speak and was called a "lazy boy" by ds2 I lost faith in asking for input from professional people so no-one knew he was a bum shuffler until he was going through assessment then they blamed me for being "too blasé" about my third child (lazy mum basically) 😉

I have dyspraxia - diagonsed along side dyslexia at uni - as does DD1 - almost certain DS does.

It's not the end of the world - just meant needed bit extra support to get organized/learn how - and how to deal with being clumsy - later with things like lace tying- though kids say way I was taught makes no sense and DH way is much better - these days elastic laces ect make many things easier.

If you really are worried find things that help develp hand to eye co-ordinaion - google there are lots of fun games/activities that help do that.

Elder two did struggle with handwriting - but we did things like write form the start and speed up - programs and lots of fun activites that helped build muscles up in hands and arms as well as slopes and grips - one is at Uni others about to go.

Both my dc were bum shufflers. Now both adults and no additional needs.

Dc1 had a mahoosive head and HATED tummy time, used to cry and scream blue murder if left on his front. HV explained that he'd learned to move by shuffling and was very proficient so unwilling to take a step back to crawling - he had 2 hands free so could carry ALL his cars/trains/sippy cup in one go. I was so worried I was doing the wrong thing by not making him do tummy time though.

Dc2 similarly didn't crawl, went straight to shuffling and was walking within the same week as dc1. No additional needs and about to start uni studying Law.

It seemed strange to me to see crawlers at playgroup.

Speak to you hv about your health anxiety and step back from Google. Read up about confirmation bias.

42% of bum shufflers go on to be diagnosed with ASD. So by that stat, 58% of those that crawl fo. Do more chance of having ASD if your baby crawls.