DS just bum shuffled and I could cry

[Zzxxyyzz]

I desperately don’t want him to be a bum shuffler but I knew it was likely to be on the cards because he has always hated tummy time and was pretty late to roll.

Bum shuffling is linked to all sorts of developmental delay, dyspraxia, dyslexia etc. I’ve just read a study that stated half of bum shufflers went on to be diagnosed with ASD.

I just feel very sad that I can see a tricky future mapped out for him. I will forever ask myself if we could have done more to encourage tummy time but in the early days he just screamed and screamed and in the later days he was just not fussed about it and would roll onto his back.

Crawling is so important for developing visual acuity, handwriting, visual spatial skills etc. I am just absolutely heartbroken for him.

DH bless him doesn’t have a clue about the implications and is sitting there cheering him and proudly videoing it 😔 I’ve had to come out of the room I just feel sick and so gutted.

Have you posted about your child before?
this all seems weirdly familiar

Sorry I thought as my Sons paediatrician told me it would be correct. I’ll let her know.

Could the people berating the OP consider for a moment what it must be like to live with the kind of anxiety OP describes? Even if you completely disagree with her is it not possible to have some sympathy for a parent who is distressed and worried about their child?

I was no-where close to experiencing what the OP is going through but I remember posting on MN when DD was little, wondering if she was variously: selectively mute, autistic or had an attachment disorder because she didn’t like to be picked up by anyone apart from me or DP and didn’t join in at birthday parties. She was a year old. I remember doing the M-Chat test for autism and telling DP that DD didn’t look up when I clapped loudly which clearly indicated a problem…

She is now a NT 12 year old, sociable and complete chatterbox. You don’t know what you don’t know. Unfortunately parents today have Dr Google at their fingertips to diagnose everything and it is incredibly anxiety inducing for many.

The OP hasn’t actually said that she suffers with anxiety.

I think people are trying very hard to help reduce her anxiety.

She is crying and convinced her child is ND and facing an impaired future because he is bum shuffling. I don’t know what else to call that other than anxiety. It’s not exactly standard behaviour.

And if your son is autistic there isn't much you can do about it other than accept it.

We are in control of our thoughts, its for us to change if necessary

And I think that what most people are offended and insulted by and incredulous about is not the belief of 2+2=5, its that she describes this potential future of a child that she thinks might have ND of some variant as being one to be fearful of, tricky, she is crying about it etc

Its hugely offensive.

@Zzxxyyzz Feeling very sad when your child demonstrates a new skill is not a normal reaction. Obsessively researching something you are worried about and fixating on the research which accords with your negative viewpoint, discounting or minimising research which does not agree with it, and feeling sad and anxious as a consequence, is classic anxiety-disordered thinking.

How old is your ds? Is there a reason you have not shared on Mumsnet to make you particularly anxious and vigilant - eg family history of learning disabilities, traumatic incident during pregnancy, childbirth or shortly afterwards? Are there other developmental concerns beyond his gross motor skills?

Is it truly hugely offensive for a parent who thinks they have a ND child to imagine that child’s future might be more complex than that of an NT child? I don’t agree with the OP’s position, like 99% of people on this thread I think she has some personal and possible MH issues that are clouding her judgement and her replies are deeply concerning.

But I’m not ‘incredulous’ at the notion that someone would be concerned, unsure and worried about their child’s future if they thought they were ND. Surely that’s a normal reaction?

I’ve raised hypermobility/hypotonia in about 4 different posts upthread and asked if the OP has had her DS checked by a health professional.
OP has ignored them all and seems to be fixated on the dyspraxia/ASD link. Crazy really when Hypermobility if far more likely and easier to diagnose!

Hypermobility and hypotonia are far more common in people with dyspraxia and ASD than in the NT population, so given the OP’s train of thought, I don’t think she would find that reassuring. She seems intent on thinking about what her worst case scenario is and thus concluding that her child’s life is going to be full of difficulty and complications that make her feel very sad.

The OP has made HUGE leaps from her DS bun shuffling. Numerous posters have confirmed that in no way does bum shuffling automatically equal ASD.

Thanks @soupyspoon.

And the OP is gas lighting everyone who is saying they’re finding her posts insulting. It’s up to the reader of the posts to say whether they find them insulting, NOT the OP.

In fact, she’s actually told people who have found it insulting (of which there are many!) to not “be silly”.

The OP really needs some serious help.

OP, my daughter was a bum shuffler. She’s now a fully qualified and well thought of architect. So don’t worry - your child will be what he will be, so don’t lose sleep over something that may never happen.

This is one of the craziest threads I have ever read on here & that's saying something!

@Zzxxyyzz hello OP, I hope you don’t mind me asking but how is your child doing now?
My baby is 8 months and has started bum shuffling and I had the same concerns you had (yes I am anxious and yes I do ‘catasrophise’ as another poster described it).. I was just wondering if you child ended up crawling or if they have continued to bum shuffle?

TIA

Hi @bluemoony, no, he has never crawled. (the Bluey episode lied! Some babies never crawl…)

He started cruising along furniture about six weeks after posting this thread, and that’s where we’re still at. He will cruise, and will walk if we hold both his hands.

He’s nearly 17 months old and I don’t think there’s any chance he’ll he walking by 18 months old, but that’s to be expected with bum shufflers. It can take them up to 24 months before they walk.

I can’t lie, I am still concerned about the association between bum shuffling and various developmental delays but there’s nothing I can do about it now so we will just have to see what the future holds.

As I think I said above, OP, my mother informed me that I never crawled: "You used to wait for things to come to you.:

FWIW, before I retired from my permanent post, I was a Faculty Head in a Scottish high school.

DS never bum shuffled, he also walked pretty early. He was later diagnosed with dyspraxia and ASD. What he did do was dribble a lot - and still did at 4. Hand writing like a Dr too. But he's doing a degree apprenticeship as a software engineer and loving it so it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

My brother was a bum shuffler apparently. He is now a successful businessman with a degree and a young family.

I wouldn't be so sure about the walking. One of mine would barely cruise. Got to 19 months and then suddenly walking perfectly with very little sign it was about to click

I was a bum shuffler, didn't crawl, I walked evenetually with no developmental problems. I've known others the same.

It is a shame that your enjoyment of this stage of your child's life is being overshadowed by these unnecessary worries. Just have fun with him.

What does the GP say OP?