Getting irritated by people as getting older. Anyone else?

[straighttalker99]

I think this is possibly is a 'me' thing, but the older I get, the more completely and utterly irritated I find myself getting with people. (I'm 40 for context). Does anyone feel this way?

Example : I went away with a work friend last minute this week for a work event (only met her the once and had a lovely time at a recreational event we planned together) and we got on really well. We message each other a fair amount in between work too so felt I knew her well etc (but in hindsight probably don't). Anyways, spent the past few days away with her in a shared apartment and it's been really tough. She was so loud, made random noises such as burping, and weird hiccup sounds in public which I would be mortified with, counted every single penny she used and asked for every penny of costs we shared. It felt very transactional. She interrupted me multiple times mid-flow conversation and basically took over extra spaces in the apartment and made them hers. She was up late most nights and I had difficulty sleeping because she was banging about.

I am also going through a really difficult personal problem at the moment so may be a bit oversensitive and have spent most of the last few days in tears as I push through work. In the end I just left and got the train now. I'm back in the peace of my own home and my God, it is bliss!!!

Does anyone feel that you may just be done with people? I didn't realise having my own space and being on my own could feel so amazing.

Went on holiday with a friend once. She took a lot of shoes and left them scattered ALL OVER the fucking hotel room. I wanted to chuck the bloody lot through the window.

I am constantly like this, I feel awful these days, as I used to be easy going, fun and chatty. Now I don't have much patience, since I've gone through the menopause.
I have, in fact, sent a complaint email, regarding a rude staff member I unfortunately encountered this afternoon, in a store I regularly use. And I'd have torn her a new one if she'd dealt with my parents the way she dealt with me. She certainly shouldn't be in a customer facing role! At one time, I'd have stomped off, probably back chatted a bit and totally disregarded it. I've never complained about anything much in the past, but that incident royally pissed me off today. (And before anyone starts, yes, I was polite when I approached her, I'm not quite that irritable yet!)
But mainly, yes, I've developed into a grumpy old woman!

I just walked out of DS's swimming swimming because too many parents were just THERE in my way and it was too hot . It happens to us all and it only gets worse.

My cousin's nickname for me is Grumps, says it all really 🤣

Anything and everything pisses me off some days, just depends on which way the wind is blowing it seems 🤣🤣
Most recently, it's expectant mothers who have a great big long list of what they can't do. Yes I understand if they relate to food/ health issues etc but not being able to carry a small bag of shopping as 'it could harm the baby ' is just plain ridiculous ( I'm soon to be a grandparent and went to the baby shower this weekend).
Once I've dealt with the idiots at work, the stupid buggers dawdling around in the shops and yelling at people on the drive home, I come into my nice empty house that I share with no-one and spend my evening eye rolling and muttering at the telly. Heaven 🤣🤣🤣

I'm nearly 64 and find my generation incredibly dumb. All they go on about is right wing politics and immigrants.
They have already screwed us over with brexit and now they want to do the same with reform.
I'd swap them all for immigrants anyday.

I feel this. I know a lot is laid at the door of perimenopause/menopause but I also just wonder if I've run out of nice.

People keep crunching ice around me and it makes me want to punch them.

Yes completely! I’m 54 and hate everyone 😂 just kidding but I’m all seriousness I have no patience for ‘twats’ anymore, slow drivers, ditherers, people who seem completely and utterly socially unaware, no idea what’s going on around them or how their actions affect others etc. I get very frustrated with people ‘in my way’! I know I’m the cow but I can’t help it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yep, I used to keep my gob shut to avoid confrontation and have an easy life but since turning 50 I seem to have an inability to keep quiet if something bugs me. It’s mainly things I see as “unfair” which annoy me the most, once upon a time I’d just moan to a mate and move on but not anymore!

God I’m the same, I’m 59 and have been like this for about 10 years. I cant cope with people FAFFING! Just get on with it ffs, I could be dead soon 😆.

I really have check myself or could fall out with so many people. (My poor DH especially and I love him to bits (most of the time)).

I’ve recently discovered meditation. It’s a life saver…. My life and others around me 🤣

I read what I think is your other thread on a different aspect of this and to me it sounds like your friend saw it as her work event that you were joining, and called all the shots, telling you how she wanted to go halves on travel costs rather than making a suggestion, making the appartment her space, not a shared space and not respecting that you might have a different bedtime etc. I’d have been frustrated too. But I found a similar situation frustrating when in my twenties so don’t think it’s just a perimenopause reaction, she has obviously pushed your boundaries to the limit and you have felt unable to tell her due to her being railroady.

Came on to say exactly this. I could literally murder most people in this lovely stage of my life.

You are becoming a man thanks to the menopause and your estrogen levels dropping. Welcome to the I really don't give a shit and i have very little tolerance or empathy part of your life.

Apparently it’s to do with a reduction in oestrogen. That’s the hormone we have that makes us nurture and want to look after children/people. As this reduces we start to care less and get irritated by others.

Don’t quote me on that but I saw a video by a professor explaining it once.

All I will say is that I cannot watch Bridge of Lies. The idiocy sends me over the edge.

@declutteringmymind well that sent me the other way - hilarious 😂Although me finding it so will probably piss someone else off because they thinks it's stupid/ lame.

Wait until menopause starts, that will really grind your gears, but when you get to 60 you're really past caring.

Do you do that huge groooooaaaan as you have to get up from the floor or a low seat? I do - and I HATED it when my mum did it. I'm far, far worse as I think back then people tried harder to be "ladylike."

Actually that's a really clever way of looking at it. I'm going to lean into that with DH! "Yes, well you see, our hormone profile is getting more similar so now its more like living with yourself!

I can already see I'm going to have enormous fun with this.

Had this conversation with friends the other day - we are all in our late 40s and the bullsh*t tolerance has dropped through the floor, and as previous people pleasers, we are all enjoying the ability (finally!) to say ‘no’ and not give a monkeys about offending or upsetting people when we do!

One of my friends husband’s borrowed her keyboard recently and pointed out that the two most worn letters were N and O! Bloody love this new me. My DM is not appreciating the backbone I have finally grown 🤣

I don't know what's wrong with me then, because I'm definitely way more chilled and tolerant than I used to be. I remember being so stressed by others' behaviour in my 20s and 30s. I find myself just observing and being interested now. A big difference is I'm not constantly tired any more, feel very healthy and am lucky to not have any major worries right now.

But I feel much better perspective on life, that it is very short and fragile, and to sweat only the big things. A combination of having gone through some very bad times, illness, death, together with taking HRT, perhaps.

I can understand why your friend irritated you, but it doesn't sound intolerable, and for the sake of the journey home I think I'd have put up with it after already tolerating for several days.

Stop yelling into your phone on the train, "I'M ON THE TRAIN!".

I find this thread frustrating. On the one hand us middle aged women are (rightfully) complaining about being labelled "Karens" and treated like a nuisance. On the other hand people are making sarky comments to shop assistants for using the phrase "no problem" or being irritated by "children laughing loudly". Come on.

Im 32 and your colleague does sound very annoying lol

Same here. I'm 43 and on HRT which has saved my sanity but doesn't make me any less annoyed by people. Started a few years ago. People are just annoying.