Getting irritated by people as getting older. Anyone else?

[straighttalker99]

I think this is possibly is a 'me' thing, but the older I get, the more completely and utterly irritated I find myself getting with people. (I'm 40 for context). Does anyone feel this way?

Example : I went away with a work friend last minute this week for a work event (only met her the once and had a lovely time at a recreational event we planned together) and we got on really well. We message each other a fair amount in between work too so felt I knew her well etc (but in hindsight probably don't). Anyways, spent the past few days away with her in a shared apartment and it's been really tough. She was so loud, made random noises such as burping, and weird hiccup sounds in public which I would be mortified with, counted every single penny she used and asked for every penny of costs we shared. It felt very transactional. She interrupted me multiple times mid-flow conversation and basically took over extra spaces in the apartment and made them hers. She was up late most nights and I had difficulty sleeping because she was banging about.

I am also going through a really difficult personal problem at the moment so may be a bit oversensitive and have spent most of the last few days in tears as I push through work. In the end I just left and got the train now. I'm back in the peace of my own home and my God, it is bliss!!!

Does anyone feel that you may just be done with people? I didn't realise having my own space and being on my own could feel so amazing.

😂

I don’t get it? What did you point out to the checkout girl?

Presumably the checkout girl said "Not a problem" when the poster thanked her. This really irritates me too, and for absolutely no specific reason whatsoever.

My tolerance is certainly lower than it used to be, but thankfully I’m not a proper misery like you, OP 😁Not yet, anyway!

Underrated thread.❤

Surely you were just unlucky enough to have spent the weekend with someone you had only met once previously, and who turned out to have poor manners and to be loud and stingy, meaning you were understandably irritated?

I don't think that's age specific. Just see it as a middle-aged version of the lesson we all learnt as students or young people in houseshares, that living with someone is a very different experience to meeting them in the pub.

Yes. I've been to an out of town big M&S today and it was full of people leaving trolleys across aisles, getting in the way, young children screaming and worst of all, a performance parent in the toilets. "Shall we go in here? Let's go in here and (child) and mummy can do wee wees. Mummy is doing wee wees now" etc. etc., at the top of her voice.
Not long ago none of it would have bothered me.

As oestrogen diminishes, so does our love and tolerance of others I think!

But op, in this case it sounds like your holiday-mate had terrible manners; burping, interrupting, taking more than half of the space in the apartment and counting out every penny. So you were justified in feeling very irritated.

Lots of people have to manage on a very low income but there are ways of being polite and behaving graciously while counting the pennies at the same time; and why agree to go with you if she couldn’t afford it?

Also, as you say, knowing people through WhatsApp or whatever is very different to sharing a holiday apartment with them. Holidaying together is a true test of friendship I always think, and one that tests even close relationships.

In addition nowadays, the pressures on women in general are huge and now we have careers and are expected to facilitate the happiness of our families in a myriad of ways; it all gets a bit much once you reach a certain age and you begin to think, “why can’t I just enjoy something for myself?” without having to accommodate everyone else? Well I do anyway 😂😂

Yeah, you never really know someone until you’ve shared a hotel room for a few days! My lifelong best friend pissed me off on our first holiday by constantly buying penny sweets and eating them in bed next to me. Sucky noises all week. I wanted to kill her.

I’m well past menopause and TBH I find an awful lot of people bloody irritating.

Just the other day I found myself thinking that someone I’ve only had (necessary) contact with online, had an irritatingly fat, stupid face. Yes, I know it was VVU, and not at all nice, but that was my initial reaction!

But admittedly by now I’m a fully paid-up GOB (Grumpy Old Bag)

Nail on the head. I'm 60 and definitely losing patience/tolerance with other people. When you're younger you're more inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt, but over the years, as you get walked over, taken advantage of, etc., you do start to learn how to "read" people better and stop putting up with their nonsense.

Yes, but your friend sounds particuarly annoying, regardless of anyone's age.

Nonsense. Being continually interrupted by a noisy person with poor manners and a habit of continually burping, who stayed up late every night and kept the OP awake would have been annoying at any age.

I have been like this for a couple of years. I'm 40. I have no patience anymore for people and things. I would happily tell some if they are irritating and don't care about any sort of repercussions.

I definitely have a lot less tolerance for shit or people pleasing now. I do think it's peri. Whatever hormone that makes you nurturing is wearing off. Even my kids piss me off more 😄

A great advert for not having ivf in your 50s I guess.

Sweets in bed?!!

I think it's an age thing, I'm later 40's and my tolerance has reduced over the last few year's & it's tricky as my job requires a lot of tolerance. The thing that has stood out for me is 2 of my closest friends for over 30 year's are both really struggling with the menopause & I love them dearly but I have reduced my contact with them as I just can't cope with the moaning! And they have every right to moan & historically I've been a good listener & am a supportive friend but I just can't at the moment. It's horrible 😞

Another thing that’s happened to me is a loss of interest in making new friends. I just can’t be bothered anymore .

Yes, but I'm 67 and feel burnt out.

I live with DH and normally just 2 of us but we care for disabled daughter daily.

Had other daughter stay overnight recently and she was hard work ( she's learning disabled).
Have stopped seeing sister also as she's an. emotional drain.
Ditto for 3rd daughter who's autistic .
Just love it when free to potter about on my own.

Jeeeze -Ive felt like this since I retired at 60 and didnt have to answer to an employer any more. I went self employed so I only have to respond to customers by email, some of them I could cheerfully strangle. And I hate bloody neighbours. Not that they have particularly done anything - just that they exist and potentially might come pestering Thats why I have a ring doorbell. I hardly ever answer the door unless its a courier with a package. Waiting for one now and wish he would hurry up and deliver so I can lock the gates of my drive and retire into my fortress once again.

Can I join?

Everyone and everything can fuck off today.

All of it.

I’m 58 and a few years post menopause, I’m so much less tolerant, I reckon it’s because I’m no longer producing much oestrogen and/or progesterone and so am much more likely to see it and react to it as it actually is, rather than be the peacemaker I’ve tried to be for decades. It’s actually liberating, though like a pp a few posts ago, I am having to be careful at work!

I do think some of the younger generation (so roughly those in their 20's now in the workplace) are a lot more vapid than we were. Some of this has been caused by an expectation that no-one is allowed to tell them anything because it will infringe their "boundaries" or in some other way materially affect them. I think it has insulated them from the need to be co-operative, effective and polite and yes, I do find this annoying. They think that by learning to bandy about the word "narcissistic" they have surpassed generations of accumulated wisdom.

One of the few things I enjoyed about the AJLT series was Brady's group of guests at the Thanksgiving who on arrival announced they required, and could only eat, cucumber and seaweed (or whatever it was) then sat and demolished the cheese platter provided while he went out to source it.

That kind of attitude does exist in a way I don't think it did when those of us 20 years older were that age.

I have six or seven really brilliant friends who I love meeting up with. None of them irritate me in the least. Likewise my DH, DC and their partners.

But random people are so annoying.
Worst crime today was a man who was at the checkout in front of me. He had to wait a couple of minutes and just stood there, gazing into space, then faffed about with coat and jeans pockets when he needed to pay.

GET YOUR WALLET OUT IN ADVANCE YOU STUPID MAN.

And breathe.