Strangest school phone calls. (Lighthearted)

lizhmj · 2025-09-04T20:36:43+00:00

I have four children, youngest has just started primary one. I saw the number calling today and was strangely in a meeting with the head about other matters. I panic, answer to be told my youngest needs new wellies because there was a frog in hers. Actually multiple frogs, and possibly a newt. youngest is not a frog fan, but her sister is, and had taken her wellie and made it into a house. Causing youngest to hit the roof. got me thinking about the random stuff kids do and the (funny afterwards) calls we get. Please don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of the serious ones. (Dairy anaphylactic son and custard) but I have so many where the staff and I have laughed after. last term, actually also DC3. voicemail, can you call us. DC 3 has found a bee swarm, or maybe caused one.

Koalaslippers · 04/09/2025 21:44

Haha, I could see that happening with my kids too.

I had one last year where the teacher was laughing as she told me, my child had kissed another child. They were apparently getting married at lunchtime. DC were aged 5.

Randomchat · 04/09/2025 21:48

Please could you come and collect ds because a wart has fallen off his finger and he's very upset he can't find it

Wtf?

He'd had a wart on his finger for ages and it randomly came off in class. Maybe he knocked it or something, who knows. It was bleeding quite a bit but ds was mostly upset that he couldn't find the bit that had fallen off.

Original poster

lizhmj · 04/09/2025 21:51

Oh yes the married chat. This must be universal?

and the wart. OMG another flashback, again dd3. She had been digging and discovered a dinosaur tooth. The teacher had kept it safe and sadly it had been lost. Wow, she was absolutely distraught. The suspect place was the sand pit. So I sat there with my kitchen sieve trying to regain calm.

eventually I asked her if we could go back to the location, we did and found many more. Which were cleaned by the teacher and framed. (Random tree sprout dinosaur teeth items )

OP posts:

mamagogo1 · 04/09/2025 21:54

I had to pick dd1 up because there was a moth in the classroom which triggered complete meltdown, she is autistic, and the normal send to the school office for tea and biscuits failed (I was supplying that office with so many boxes of thank you biscuits!)

Original poster

lizhmj · 04/09/2025 21:56

mamagogo1 · 04/09/2025 21:54

I had to pick dd1 up because there was a moth in the classroom which triggered complete meltdown, she is autistic, and the normal send to the school office for tea and biscuits failed (I was supplying that office with so many boxes of thank you biscuits!)

Oh bless her. And yes to the biscuits. 🍪

OP posts:

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 22:00

Can you come and get ds1 he’s trusted a fart.

can you come and get ds1 he’s got a migraine x 100

can you come and get ds1 he’s been sick ten times because he’s got a migraine x 50

can you come and get ds1 he’s got a nose bleed that won’t stop (multiple)

didn’t get a phone call just mentioned at pick up- ds1 did something to his elbow during assembly but then he twisted and shoved it and it’s fine now…

ds2 - it’s always forgotten iPad or vom (reflux).

Original poster

lizhmj · 04/09/2025 22:04

@FurForksSakethe trusted a fart, 😂😂😂

OP posts:

Xiaoxiong · 04/09/2025 22:04

I got a safeguarding call because my year 4 son in an IT lesson had been putting random words into the browser with .com after them and pressing enter. There was a craze in the playground for moon balls, lava balls etc at that time so the safeguarding lead called me up to tell me very seriously that DS2 had been googling porn. I was travelling in Europe for work at a conference so I remember the panic seeing the school's number, then finding a quiet place at the conference to take the call. First the teacher assured me it had all been caught by the content filter so DS2 had not actually seen any porn, and then read out:
balls.com
bigballs.com
bouncyballs.com
bounciestballs.com
bigbouncyballs.com

As he read them out slowly one by one in this very serious tone down the phone, I got the giggles around "bigballs.com" and was crying with laughter by the time he got to "bigbouncyballs.com".

TazTheFairy · 04/09/2025 22:04

DS2's office staff used to start the conversation with 'don't worry, he's fine but...' as they had to call so often. The weirdest was he's got a splinter in his bum and we can't get it out. Long (outing) story short, my child has had a general to remove a splinter from his butt cheek 😂

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 22:05

@lizhmjhe came home and showered and put his uniform back on, I told him he was not going back after that! He was willing to and had managed to not let on to anyone aside from a teacher at the end of the lesson. He was worried about people who questioning where he’d gone and the wet hair…

Travellingraspberry · 04/09/2025 22:10

Call to say DC had a splinter in their finger, that they could see the end and it'd be really easy to get out but they weren't allowed to touch it... I offered to go and take it out but apparently it wasn't hurting and would be fine until the end of the day... in which case why ring?!

MrsMoastyToasty · 04/09/2025 22:11

A call whilst I was at work.

"Can you come to the school with some tweezers? DC has got a wood splinter in his eyebrow".
I was 45 minutes away and had to pop home to collect tweezers. It would have taken them a couple of seconds to remove it with their fingers (which is what I did).

RosesAndHellebores · 04/09/2025 22:20

Hilarious in a sick way and I guess it was more than 20 years ago.

I was out for the day. I got home to two messages on the answering machine. DS twisted his ankle at lunchtime and is in a lot of pain. I got to school at 3pm - took one look at him and knew it was broken.

The following day when I rang to say he wouldn't be in until he was confident on his crutches I asked why they hadn't called my mobile.

"Well, Mrs Hellebores, you do realise it costs more don't you, so we don't call mobile numbers."

CoodleMoodle · 04/09/2025 22:22

"Can you bring some lip balm in for DD? Her lips are chapped."

Fine, happy to do that... but it was 2:55pm when they called me. I asked if she could possibly wait the 15mins for me to come and pick her up, this was met with an incredulous, "well... I suppose so!"

(I did take some with me, she refused to put it on.)

TheGetAlongGang · 04/09/2025 22:25

'Can you please come in as 'x' has brought in an inappropriate item to school' ('x' was 13)

The little git had found and taken my new vibe to school and had been caught waving it around his head in the playground to impress his mates

Same child a few weeks later-my mother has this trait where she loves a bargain and will bulk buy said bargains

She'd dumped 65 packets of cheap noodles on me and I'd shoved them into a cupboard,forgetting they where there

He found them,put them in a bag and taken the whole lot to school with him

He'd lugged them around with him all day until the last lesson,when his teacher checked the bag

Another time I got a call from school to say he'd put a bead in his ear and for good measure,one up his nose (he was about 8)

Every grey hair I have on my head,is caused by him

He's 25 now and we can laugh (me through gritted teeth) and he's grown up into a sensible lad

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 04/09/2025 22:32

September the day before my (then Year 8) DD started back after the summer. School calls “Hello are you DD’s mum?” “Yes” “Please come and collect her, she’s been sick” “She’s in her bedroom and doesn’t start until tomorrow” “Oh God, I only checked the first name when I searched for the number”. 🤣

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue · 04/09/2025 22:36

"DD has asked us to call you as she's forgotten her lip balm. "

Wtf. How about telling her that's not a reason to call the parents 🙄

Beaniebobbins · 04/09/2025 22:49

Randomchat · 04/09/2025 21:48

Please could you come and collect ds because a wart has fallen off his finger and he's very upset he can't find it

Wtf?

He'd had a wart on his finger for ages and it randomly came off in class. Maybe he knocked it or something, who knows. It was bleeding quite a bit but ds was mostly upset that he couldn't find the bit that had fallen off.

My kid once lost her verucca. Not at school though. But looking for a missing verucca has to be the grimmest thing I have ever done 🤢

BloodandGlitter · 04/09/2025 22:54

The safeguarding lead called me to ask if everything was ok at home as DS had written a "really beautiful poem with very grown up and expressive language"
Everything was indeed fine at home he has just always had a good grasp of language.
Still not sure on why that warranted a call home.

FurForksSake · 04/09/2025 23:10

I got a safeguarding call about a picture my then 8 year old had drawn, which then led to them asking some leading questions and them deciding he was suicidal. He wasn’t but I still safety planned with him and ensured he had people to speak to. The drawing was of the Alton towers ghost train that had been a tad scarier than we realised.

Sausagescanfly · 04/09/2025 23:12

My favourite was the call to tell me that DD2 (in reception) had cut another child's hair. The scissors had been removed from her, but she took them back and cut her own hair. She'd actually done a remarkably good job, just now had a fringe. Sheer luck, rather than a budding hairdresser. Her teacher later told me that it she found it really hard to stop herself from laughing when she called me.

I was really surprised not to be called when they created an art work all about themselves and DD2's was entirely negative. When I asked her about it, and where were all the lovely things in her life, she told me that she didn't think they belong in artwork.

I was weirdly grateful for the call asking me to pick up DD1 from school when she bust her lip trying to skate on a frozen puddle. We had her great-grandfather's funeral the next day and she was really put out that it would ruin her 100% attendance record. The school sending her home meant that she had lost it anyway.

WearyAuldWumman · 04/09/2025 23:19

Xiaoxiong · 04/09/2025 22:04

I got a safeguarding call because my year 4 son in an IT lesson had been putting random words into the browser with .com after them and pressing enter. There was a craze in the playground for moon balls, lava balls etc at that time so the safeguarding lead called me up to tell me very seriously that DS2 had been googling porn. I was travelling in Europe for work at a conference so I remember the panic seeing the school's number, then finding a quiet place at the conference to take the call. First the teacher assured me it had all been caught by the content filter so DS2 had not actually seen any porn, and then read out:
balls.com
bigballs.com
bouncyballs.com
bounciestballs.com
bigbouncyballs.com

As he read them out slowly one by one in this very serious tone down the phone, I got the giggles around "bigballs.com" and was crying with laughter by the time he got to "bigbouncyballs.com".

We had the opposite at our school: an S2/Y2 boy had tried to access porn. Said child exploded with rage: "What's this?"

He got a website about prawns.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 04/09/2025 23:19

The school called one lunch time to tell me DD had eaten a wild Blackberry in the Playground.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 04/09/2025 23:26

lizhmj · 04/09/2025 22:04

@FurForksSakethe trusted a fart, 😂😂😂

Sorry what does this mean? It's not an expression I'm familiar with.

MissisBee · 04/09/2025 23:26

I got a head bump phone call when my daughter was 4 - she was laughing so hard she fell off the bench 😂 😂
I have kept the note, it's so her!