Strangest school phone calls. (Lighthearted)

[lizhmj]

I have four children, youngest has just started primary one.

I saw the number calling today and was strangely in a meeting with the head about other matters.

I panic, answer to be told

my youngest needs new wellies because there was a frog in hers. Actually multiple frogs, and possibly a newt.

youngest is not a frog fan, but her sister is, and had taken her wellie and made it into a house. Causing youngest to hit the roof.

got me thinking about the random stuff kids do and the (funny afterwards) calls we get. Please don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of the serious ones. (Dairy anaphylactic son and custard) but I have so many where the staff and I have laughed after.

last term, actually also DC3.
voicemail, can you call us. DC 3 has found a bee swarm, or maybe caused one.

Thought it was just a fart but it wasn't and shat himself

My youngest is....... a character. Over the years there have been many calls.

Calls have included:
Can you please make sure they're wearing pants on PE day

They thought they were superman and jumped out of a tree to see if they could fly (broke their arm doing that)

Has stuck a ruler down their cast. Cast came from the tree incident. Loved being back in A&E twice in a week ffs.

The phonecall from the head who was concerned I had made my child eat a bar of soap. What I had actually done was told the child to 'crack on then' when they wanted to know what it tasted like.

Possibly the most mortifying one was from the pastoral care lead offering me foodbank vouchers and support with food. Because the little sod turned around and told the staff we had no food in the house. What this actually meant was that they had got in a strop when I refused to buy crisps/chocolate/junk because they'd eat it all in 2 days while refusing to eat tea at the same time.

I now have an understanding with the school that unless youngest is profusely bleeding, school are calling an ambulance or they are horror movie vomiting then they need to email me first. The amount of phonecalls was getting a bit OTT at one point.

@Dontlletmedownbruceas someone else kindly explained, he thought he needed to pass wind and then had an unexpected item in the bagging area. They aren’t allowed to leave class for any reason without a toilet pass and couldn’t hold in the gas and then realised. I have no idea why it happened, he wasn’t unwell but is dairy sensitive after being totally intolerant and sometimes is a little unpredictable. He (I hope) has now learnt from this.

He suffers with debilitating migraines which comes with huge amounts of vomiting until we can get him meds, darkness and into bed. He has the good drugs but they only work if he takes them early enough, which is rare. He’s been stuck in a toilet cubicle throwing up and relying on the mercy of other kids to fetch staff previously. The school first aiders know him very well and look after him, but the teachers can be slow to realise if he says he has to go to medical that it’s now or he’ll be sick potentially in class.

I was rather annoyed I DIDN'T get a call once -
Picked ds up from y1 class with broken specs in an envelope. Apparently he was playing 'being aeroplanes' at playtime and ran into a wall to see what a crash would be like.

I was annoyed because I only lived round the corner and was home all day so I could have popped his spare pair into school. As it was, he could barely see all day and came home with a tummy ache (abdominal migraine) which lasted 2 days. Probably brought on by straining his eyesight for 5 hours.

She rang to ask if melon had gluten in it... good on her for being pro-active about his intolerance but really?

The back had fallen off her earring, and she was worried it would close up. Can I bring another one

😄

This reminds me of the opposite scenario when they rang me after the first hour of starting school in Reception to come to school and remove the earrings myself as they were not allowed. Mind you, these were little studs, no dangling earrings.

Another highlight was coming into school to help my daughter pee as she was using a wheelchair because couldn’t cope with crutches and she couldn’t transfer her weight properly. This went on for a week. Makes me angry now.

Because there will always be the one parent that complains they weren't told earlier!!

These are brilliant, funny how the pattern seems to be we all have that one child !

I am giggling at the “they are fine but” calls.

we did get this with one child, they had fallen of the swing, then sat up and the swing hit them in the head and knocked them over. Then sat up and it happened again. Fine but because of three bumps wanted me to know!

DT2, had 3 phone calls during YR to say he’s fallen asleep during afternoon lessons so might not sleep well than night; one day it was on the SENCOs lap during story time, another day in the home corner cot and the 3rd time was than he just put his head on the carpet in front of him and went to sleep. He is one of the oldest in the year (alongside DT1 and another child are late august born and all are delayed entry because of prematurity) He just loves a nap in the afternoon, even now, I’m sure he’ll still have the occasional school nap in Yr1 and I’ll get a phone call about it!

Also had a call to say DT2 had got his fingers shut in a door (no injury thankfully
due a generously thick rubber gasket round the door) and child had insisted they call to tell me it wasn’t Mr Xs fault as he didn’t think I’d believe him if he told me and thought Mr X would be in trouble!! Mr X had been closing the door and DT2 decided to stick his finger in the gap to see if it would hurt or not (he was 5!) DT2 loves Mr X and didn’t want him to get told off by the head or me!

I got several, always for my youngest (DD3) for some reason.

Three spring to mind straightaway. One said ""DD3 has fallen onto her head while flying her kite." They had been asked to bring kites if they had any, or similar objects, in for some sort of project so she had taken a small one we had bought her on a trip to the beach in the holidays. Nobody could work out how she ever managed to end up on her head doing that!! 🙄🤣

Another call said "DD3 shut her head in the toilet door." 😲🙄

A third one said "DD3 bashed her head on her older sister at playtime." 🤣

Only DD3!! She wasn't injured on any occasion. She's 23 now and has still managed to keep her head! Somehow! 🙄

An embarrassed teacher called me when DD was in Reception as, during lunchtime, she had poured a jug of water all over DD rather than into the glasses on the table. DD was fine (although had been very wet) and was now in her PE kit.
2yrs later the same teacher gave a door a good shove as it was a bit stuck not realising it was stuck as DD was behind it. DD fell over & bumped her head and had an egg so I had to go & collect her. It was the class teacher who called me and she managed to sound serious until she got to the bit where she had to tell me which teacher had caused the accident. When I went to collect DD, the reception teacher came to find me to apologise and the head teacher to reassure me that the reception teacher didn’t have it in for my DD.

The time I got a call to say he had been physically assaulted….he was pushed by his brother as he had accidentally banged into him in the playground, not ideal but they were best of friends again by the end of lunch

I was called the collect the wrong child.

Think x2 Robert's in a class but one was known by Robbie instead of Robert.

Came all the way from bloody work as well, worst part is they actually sent the wrong Robert down to me. The poor kid looked so ill as well bless him.

It was a new office lady and she had called Robert's B's mum instead of Robert D's mum. She was mortified.

I once had to call school to ask if they could bring ds1 out to me in the car as ds2 had had too much dairy at lunch (we’d done the milk ladder but sometimes I’d miscalculate how much he could tolerate and was taken by surprise by a child’s lunch box I’d bought in a cafe that had a cheese sandwich, a block of cheese snack and a yoghurt. I should have know.). He had thrown up so many times between garden centre and school that I couldn’t park and walk him round to school naked. They very kindly brought ds1 out (from assembly!) along with a massive stack of green paper towels and a lot of sympathy.

DS2 has resulted in sometimes three calls a week to say “he’s fine but…” head injuries, picked bleeding finger, gashes, scrapes, more head injuries, stabbed in the arm with a pencil…

DS1 was a biter in preschool. I used to dread pick up.

I had the dreaded call from nursery asking to go in early to speak to dd’s teacher. I spent the rest of the day stressed, and yes, the conversation was as bad as I’d feared.

DD had told her teacher twice, on consecutive days, that I’d bitten her on the tummy, it had hurt, she’d told me to stop but I hadn’t and she had an injury to prove it. Because she had told the same story twice and had a bleeding sore they’d had to record it and call me in. I was mortified!

Yes, I’d pretend to nibble her tummy (who doesn’t?) but she’d find it hilarious and only my lips, at the most, touched her skin. And she had a convenient tick bite on her tum (one of many), but this didn’t seem enough to explain her story. Luckily they believed me, though I had to agree never to pretend to eat her again!

It was only later on that evening I realised that together with the pretend nibbling (which she’d remembered, though decided it was scary, not funny) and the tick (which she’d seemingly forgotten about) there was another factor at play. In recent weeks she’d started nipping dp and I, usually only catching our clothes but occasionally skin, which hurt and which she’d been told off about. Seems she’d finally learnt nipping hurt but forgotten she’d done the hurting!

In 8 years of having at least one child in school I have only been called once. DD's nature club teacher called me to tell me that DD had fallen in the lake, but she didn't want to leave the club early to come home. I figured if she didn't want to leave she must have just got a bit wet, perhaps her foot slipped in. An hour later she strolled back in soaked from head to foot!

I had a phone call to say my son had stuck a raisin up his nose and that my daughter had no skirt on just tights!

I had a message to say dd had tripped in the classroom fell and banged her mouth on the hard edge of Mary. It’s caused a large blood filled bruise and her lips are very swollen she’s happy in herself and wants to stay in school so if you could give us a call back.
I was thinking what the hell? Hard edge of Mary?

Turns out she fell into the prayer table and hit her mouth of the statue of Mary (catholic school)

When DS was in yr8 I had a call from the school matron asking if I could pick up DS. She explain that there had been an incident at lunchtime while he’d been playing chess. A number of things went through my mind, school had a giant outdoor chess set so could have been a bit of overzealous moves, but no it was in the classroom. I asked her to explain but she suggested that I phone DS and get him to explain. All she would say was that he was unwilling to go back into class because he looked like a unicorn but that it wasn’t serious and didn’t need a visit to A&E.
I was working so rang DH who collected him.

When I arrived home it was pretty alarming. He looked like a character from Avatar , including slightly blue tinge from developing bruising. His forehead and the bridge of his nose had merged.
Apparently when they were winding up after playing chess DS accidently knocked the board flicking a chess piece that hit his opponent. The opponent then threw a piece at DS which hit him on the bridge of his nose. It must have damaged a blood vessel since his face swelled up immediately and his teacher who had just arrived sent him straight to Matron.

After ice packing it she contacted me but DS said that they both had a fit of the giggles re how a chess game caused the injury she told him that I probably wouldn’t believe her and she would struggle to tell me without laughing.

I have to admit that my first response was to laugh. It was the first time that a pupil had been injured playing chess. I still have the photos and once the swelling went down DS proudly sported two perfect black eyes. He’s a rugby player so always proud of a decent bruise.

Hello DC1's mum, DC1 has brought an alive pet into school for show and tell (×4, hamster, frog, tiny crab, snail)
DC1 has brought a collection of pets (woodlice. Multiple times)
DC1 has hurt their head jumping off (jesus, too many things to list) possible concussion, please collect and take to A & E, X lost count
DC1 has found a stray cat and now has a scratch, please collect and clean.
DC1 has 'rescued' a hedgehog, its in their bag, what do we do?
DC1 has riped their trousers/tights (×1000)
DC1 has incited a playground riot over the no handstands in skirts rule
DC1 has lead the class in a minor revolution over the new lunch menu that does not provide tomato sauce for the fish and chip Friday's.
There is a list as long as my hallway carpet. Luckily DC1 is at uni now so they dont call me in. They took a pidgeon in last year for a 'project'.

DC2 once was sick at school, but that's it! He's an absolute dream, nearly 14 and Yes, has plenty of time to be creating that kind of drama still.

DC3. Worse than DC1. Get calls asking if I know he had brought a huge glass jar of hotdogs into school, as he was just quietly sitting on the floor with his friends munching them during meditation. DC3 is SEN. He tried to steal a tiny piglet off the school farm. He also has beef with just 1 of the schools chickens.

Not school but college.
Ds was 18 and a bit and college phoned to say he hadn't submitted some work. I told them he is over 18 and a fully functioning adult so why are they phoning me. ( just a regular college, no SEND etc)
Im sure if I had phone them and asked questions about him they would have quoted GDPR to me!.

I hope the frog(s)/newt were swiftly rehoused somewhere suitable!