Finances - should we have a baby now or wait?

[blueapples96]

Together 11 years, just married, aged 30 and 32.

Own our home, both working full time earning £38k each.

We have some wedding/honeymoon debt between us, £8,000 on a 0% credit card
&
Car finance: £2,000

We are overpaying the CC to have it cleared before the end of the interest free period which will be in May 26

The car finance also ends in May 26, I will own the car outright after this.

Mortgage fixed term ends in March 26, rates have reduced and we have 70% LTV so will save about £200 per month from March onwards.

If we conceived now we’d be over the moon but with us paying off the debt, I wouldn’t be able to save for my 12 months mat leave so things would be tight.

But then I want a baby now! We have waited so long! Is it worth waiting, clearing the debt and try next Summer? Or should we just go for it now?

I’m worried about my age and wasting time if there are any fertility problems I don’t know about yet.

DH is on the fence like me but leaning towards waiting till Summer.

What do you think?

What is your maternity policy at work? I'd just start trying!

@mumofbun
It’s NHS, so rubbish! I’d spread it equally over 12 months, it works out about £1000 take home p/m which covers my share of the mortgage/bills/food. Our money is joint though so DH would just contribute more to keep me afloat.

whilst your finances aren’t ideal I wouldn’t wait more than 12 months before trying for a baby. You have to think about if you want more than one kid. You’ll get loads of people telling you they got pregnant easily at 40 but they are the lucky ones.

That sounds ok. I'll be honest and I found maternity leave the cheap part - the expensive part is nursery/going back to work. We did the not not t trying for a bit (i.e. no contraception) and then properly trying for about 9 months with our first so I had time to save. Our second was a complete surprise though so no savings for mat leave and I don't have any regrets about that x

I’d concentrate on paying the debt off first. You’re both very young, so waiting a couple of years until you’re in a better position will make things so much easier for the both of you and you can both enjoy your leave with some money behind you. It takes the pressure off a bit if one of you was unfortunately made redundant, you don’t want that stress with a young child.

You’ll never afford a baby on paper. I would start trying now as it might not happen straightaway. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to stick to a budget when your income is reduced, you spend more thoughtfully and don’t waste money. Go for it and good luck!

Are you the 30 yo in this scenario? So you’d be looking to conceive at 31 if you cleared the debt first? If so, I would do that. I’d want to be debt free and saving hard while pregnant. Circumstances can change so quickly (job loss, relationship breakdown, disable child, health issues) and you are quite vulnerable as a mum to young children. Being debt free would have been a dealbreaker for me ttc and 31 is still young.

The differing opinions are actually making me feel better about being in two minds about it!

I am actually 29 right now but was trying to be vague.

the debt will be gone by May next year as we are over paying as much as possible.

just recalculated my mat leave and it’s actually about £1150 net.

If anyone else is nhs band 6, no enhancements, 37.5 hrs and had 12 months mat leave split evenly over the 12 months… is that right!? Niche question buried in the thread there but worth asking you never know 😂

Wait.
Buckle down, save hard. Have a tight Christmas. Ask your parents for money for Christmas instead of ‘stuff’.

Clear the debt in May, get your remortgage done, start saving the £200 and then ditch your contraception.

This is all a matter of months away - you can hang on until May and you’ll be in a much better position.

In the meantime, use this time to declutter. Sell any excess stuff on Vinted/ Marketplace - you’ll need cash and space when you have your baby x

I would be tempted to start now. Babies don't have to cost a lot if you're willing to buy a lot of second-hand stuff (and babies grow so quickly that the earliest sizes are often almost new). In fact I donated a lot of my kids' used clothes to colleagues.

I was your age when I started having children. I have three now (I'm 38) and definitely done. And I'm glad I didn't wait any longer as I feel tired a lot ! Can't imagine doing this at 45. By the time I'm 45 my youngest will be 8yo and the hardest part (physically at least) will be behind me.

So, yeah, I'd start trying within the year.

Do make sure that your mortgage and bills contribution reflect your new income, as the reduced income should impact you both equally. Have this conversation before ttc ! Make sure you're on the same page also about who does what in the home. Taking care of a young baby is a 24/7 job !

At 29, it is basic common sense to start a family in a year or two and with at least three to six months net salary saved before starting a family. Surely the choice was expensive wedding or starting a family more quickly? Choices have to be made and people can't have what they want when they want it necessarily.

I despair when post graduate professional couples can't work out the basics.

Here’s the thing and the part that makes it difficult. It could take a month, it could take a year. You are still young so I wouldn’t worry if you don’t have pre-existing conditions.

Having a baby is fine and if your breastfeed thats free, however it’s the childcare that needs considering.

Wait until May. But do figure out how you’re going to afford nursery…that’s the expensive part.

How unnecessarily rude of you, and you have made incorrect assumptions about us.

I can work out the basics, I have presented two different scenarios in detail. Both scenarios can and do work for many families. I am wanting opinions on which route to go.

Theres just no need for such an unpleasant tone.

Try for the baby. You’ll make it work. We all do.

We watched 4 of our closest friends (4 couples) go through all different fertility issues and then we lost our first. We’re so glad we didn’t wait, you never know what journey you’re going to have or how long it will take.

Yes I have looked into childcare costs, I will be going back to work 3 days. We qualify for 30 funded hours at 9 months but of course spread over the full year.

As we would only need 3 days per week, with the funding this would cost around £60 per week so I am budgeting £250 per month which is really doable for us even with my reduced salary.

I would try straight away

I wouldn't wait.

My dad always used to say a baby comes with bread in its arms.

Meaning you'll make it work, you'll find the money.

If you feel secure in your relationship and trust your husband/ partner there really is no point in waiting. Trust me.

If you wait for the perfect time. There will be something else that comes up that means it would prob be better to wait another 6 months and so on.

I think it is a bit odd you have 'changed your age' less than half an hour into the thread.

That makes a difference to me.
I started off assuming you were 32, and was going to say I would stop taking contraception now and see how it goes.

Now you are 29, then I'd pay off the debt, remortgage, hopefully at a lower rate, and save a couple of months salary. Whilst also looking at saving over the next year, and seeing if you can cut down outgoings and create good habits now.
As many have said, it is childcare costs once your go back to work that hit as hard as maternity pay.

If you become pregnant straight away and feel your household budget is too stretched for a year, then you can go back sooner than 12 months.

Would you be happy to either have a shorter maternity leave or cut down on spending/non-essentials if you conceived early? If so then go for it now, if not then wait until May.

So sorry for your loss. This is my worry.

Baby loss is a big part of my job, I see so much complexity, which definitely skews my view of what is normal.

I also see families with nothing thrive, their babies are loved and cherished and everything turns out well in the long run.

That’s fair, I have NC’d but just didn’t want to be recognised on a post with so much personal detail.

If conceive now I will be 30 by the time I deliver which is why I went with that.

I would also wait - maybe start TTC in April when you know you're in touching distance. Mat leave, childcare fees, you don't want that debt hanging over you as well.

Feb / March is a really good time to have a baby…..

Middle of the school year, beginning of calendar year (in case they are sporty), not pregnant and miserable in the summer, not an Xmas birthday or a summer holiday birthday.

So I would start ttcing on 1st May next year. Parenting is so so much easier and more enjoyable if you have a bit of money behind you.

She’s 30.

It's been a few years since I had kids, and I work for NHS Scotland, if that changes anything.
I spread my pay over the 12 months I was off. But I got different amounts of pay at different points, it wasn't the absolute same each month. The bit you spread out is the enhanced pay. The government statutory maternity pay can't be changed or spread out, you receive that the same as everyone else, so 80% for 8 weeks then 4 months of a lesser amount then 3 months of nothing (or wherever it is). So the last 3 months of 'unpaid leave' was a chunk less than the 4 months prior. I didn't expect and it caught me out.
You might already be aware of this, so please ignore if you do.

Edited to say we started trying when I was just turned 28. My first child was born a few days before I was 31. As others have said, you might get pregnant straight away but equally it might take a long time, like us.