Finances - should we have a baby now or wait?

[blueapples96]

Together 11 years, just married, aged 30 and 32.

Own our home, both working full time earning £38k each.

We have some wedding/honeymoon debt between us, £8,000 on a 0% credit card
&
Car finance: £2,000

We are overpaying the CC to have it cleared before the end of the interest free period which will be in May 26

The car finance also ends in May 26, I will own the car outright after this.

Mortgage fixed term ends in March 26, rates have reduced and we have 70% LTV so will save about £200 per month from March onwards.

If we conceived now we’d be over the moon but with us paying off the debt, I wouldn’t be able to save for my 12 months mat leave so things would be tight.

But then I want a baby now! We have waited so long! Is it worth waiting, clearing the debt and try next Summer? Or should we just go for it now?

I’m worried about my age and wasting time if there are any fertility problems I don’t know about yet.

DH is on the fence like me but leaning towards waiting till Summer.

What do you think?

Honestly it’s a matter of a few months, I’d just wait until it’s fully or very nearly paid off. Can you start trying at Easter? Bit of a compromise. But for the sake of 8k it’s really worth waiting that little bit longer.

Yes to all of this.

Also, don’t somehow end up with millions of beds for the baby. There’s the Moses basket, the next-to-me thing, the bassinet of the pram… They all do the same thing - and then before you know it the baby moves up into the big cot.

I hear you say…

But then I want a baby now! We have waited so long

and also

I paid £8000 on a credit card for an event I couldn’t afford - even after 2 people could have saved for 11 years.

If children were your priority then you would have got married earlier, got into less debt to have a party to celebrate you being together for a decade and actually prioritizing parenting.

Now you’ve ticked your boxes (engagement, wedding we couldn’t afford, decade together) you want to tick more boxes (breed appropriately small number of children in very controlled manner). So heck - you’re not big on choices following consequences- so why not do what you want and see what follows?

You don’t sound like you’re here for feedback.

Hmm depends really. I was your age when I started TTC….took 2 years … then totally infertile by age 36 following multiple losses and ruptured ectopics. I wouldn’t recommend waiting to anyone hovering around age 30. Unless you intend to be “one and done” - there was a study that said if you wanted more than one child then you needed to start in your late twenties

I would definitely wait until your debt is paid off or at least all most paid off. The early years of having a child can be financially very stressful. Why add to that by starting off in debt, especially when your only talking about clearing it in a matter of months.
Get the debt paid off, starting ttc and saving, and enjoy your mat leave without debt hanging around your neck.

I understand why some posters say start immediately due to issues with fertility, baby loss etc but you would be having to wait months not years which in the grand scheme will make very little difference fertility wise.

Start trying now. It can take a while (80 percent of healthy couples without infertility conceive within a year). If you can, save £3k for baby expenses and groups on top of paying off debt; can you go on bank etc for overtime?

Most stuff can be second hand other than matresses, car seats, bottle teats/ dummies. And a lot of expenses can be avoided eg breastfeeding and using cloth nappies means no buying those items.

Its childcare which is expensive. Even with 30 free hours you are often looking at £1k so mat leave will be practise for that. But you naurally spend less with a baby eg go out less so its ok.

I’d wait until next summer to TTC. I am a December baby and agree to try and avoid a winter bday if you can, of course not everyone can choose when their child is born.

Agree with the people saying wait and get in a financially stable position first. Savings will really give you breathing space, and also a nicer maternity leave and a buffer. My nursery fees per child have gone up £600 a month in two years, which we didn’t expect. Classes are expensive, just things like football and swimming and gymnastics.

I had mine in my late thirties however, but really wanted to be in a decent financial position to be able to afford the things I want to give them. People just keep telling me they get more expensive as they get older also

As we would only need 3 days per week, with the funding this would cost around £60 per week so I am budgeting £250 per month which is really doable

That is really cheap! Good that you've looked into that thoroughly, the 30 partially funded hours are not decreasing bills to that much for colleagues around here.

Do it! If you got pregnant today, your baby would be born around the time you’ve paid off your debts, and you mortgage repayment reduces. That’s got to be a good financial position to be in.

Try for it tonight, or afternoon delight.

An April/May/June baby is good. Remember though that August born babies are sometimes almost a year younger than their classmates at school.