Finances - should we have a baby now or wait?

[blueapples96]

Together 11 years, just married, aged 30 and 32.

Own our home, both working full time earning £38k each.

We have some wedding/honeymoon debt between us, £8,000 on a 0% credit card
&
Car finance: £2,000

We are overpaying the CC to have it cleared before the end of the interest free period which will be in May 26

The car finance also ends in May 26, I will own the car outright after this.

Mortgage fixed term ends in March 26, rates have reduced and we have 70% LTV so will save about £200 per month from March onwards.

If we conceived now we’d be over the moon but with us paying off the debt, I wouldn’t be able to save for my 12 months mat leave so things would be tight.

But then I want a baby now! We have waited so long! Is it worth waiting, clearing the debt and try next Summer? Or should we just go for it now?

I’m worried about my age and wasting time if there are any fertility problems I don’t know about yet.

DH is on the fence like me but leaning towards waiting till Summer.

What do you think?

Do double check this-childcare costs are tricky to calculate. It's very difficult to find a place in some areas as well-several nurseries round here closed completely due to rosing overheads and the ones we have left are not taking any funded hours at all-they simply don't need to as they have waiting lists as long as their arm. People are desperate for the places!

I’d go for it now & just try to save as much as I could.

Thank you. I’m currently being jumped on by my 17mo so we got our rainbow. But there’s still a gap.

We had savings for my May leave, and then DH lost his job, twice (caveating this with not his fault 😂) but we didn’t see it coming. So financially we were no longer in a great position!!!! But it works out, because there’s no other option :)

If everyone waited until they were ready on paper, the population would have died out years ago.

I'm sorry if you perceived a statement of the facts as impolite. I thought there were two scenarios. TTC now with £10k of debt or conceiving later without debt. At 29, it is to me the most basic common sense to wait until the debt is repaid. The timem for this decision was when you chose an expensive wedding which you clearly could not afford because otherwise you'd have had the money to pay for it rather than a credit card.

I'm sorry you think my opinion, based on the facts, is impolite but you asked for advice about your options.

This.

I’m not disputing that the timing isn’t perfect at this moment from a financial standpoint. I’ve never had a credit card or debt in my life. Yes it’s not ideal, but it’ll be gone very soon.

Read the varied responses to this thread. It’s very interesting listening to everybody’s opinions. Finances are not the only consideration. However in the grand scheme of things, we’re financially very stable.

The time for the decision can be whenever we want to make it, why does a decision need to have been made before marriage? We’re making it now and that’s fine. We have a small amount of debt on a 0% interest card that we are over paying to get rid of in the next 9 months or so.

Your opinion isn’t based on facts because you continue to make incorrect assumptions about us. We aren’t graduates and didn’t have an expensive wedding… you don’t know us and these things aren’t true.

Families have children in less than ideal circumstances every day, and those children and families thrive. Money is nice to have, but it isn’t everything.

That’s amazing! Try now.

I think I agree with you, thank you 😊

Thank you, early years is actually my area so I have checked it all out thoroughly.
It can get super extensive and complicated you’re right, I feel for people with multiples!

Yes this is exactly what mine looks like! I worked it out after a very complicated exchange with chatgpt but got there eventually, and the numbers check out.
thanks for the info 😊

I’ve been none stop thinking about this! There are pros and cons to each season, but as a Summer baby myself I can’t imagine having a birthday in the depths of winter.

thank you ☺️

I know. Say she waits a year - 31. Takes 6 months to conceive, gives birth at 33- potentially nearly 34. Wants a three year age gap - over 35 and your fertility starts to fall. That’s what I meant in my post.

I know so many people who have fertility issues that I would try straight away so that it can addressed earlier if necessary.

Things are never going to be ideal financially but you know you want children so don't wait.

I waited to have a second for financial reasons and I have had 1 DS plus 4 miscarriages over the years. I'm probably too old to get pregnant easily now and I wish I had another.

I don’t think it matters either way. 29 vs 31 or whatever makes no difference (I had my last baby at 37!). I also don’t think a little bit of debt matters. So what if you don’t pay off the cc and you pay a bit of interest for a year? It’s not going to make a huge difference.

What does make a huge difference is that you are both 100% both feet in to this new chapter and that you’ve done everything you want to do before you become parents and life as you know it changes completely. Be solid in your careers, go for promotions, do the training course. Travel, travel, travel. Go backpacking around Indonesia. Go on a safari. Go do your PADI course in Thailand or whatever else was on your bucket list. Train for a marathon if you said you’d do one. Go trekking in the Alps. Basically, tick off the big things you want to do together before it becomes hard for you to do those things.

Dh and I were in no way as financially secure as you are on paper. We were renting a shitty cold old cottage. Dh was quitting his job and starting a business. I was doing a postgraduate course. There were no funded hours, not for anyone! And I’m an immigrant, so by my very existence, I make the whole household ineligible for any benefits, even if we’d needed them. We managed absolutely fine by being frugal and sensible. We are very financially comfortable now, but back then, we just got on with things. But what made a real difference was that we had properly spent time with each other, enjoyed life just the 2 of us, did all the stuff that is hard to do when you have young children.

Have kids now, my pay went up by 30% since having kids, I was stuck at the same pay for long time pre kids, it's doable.

I was going to say go for having a baby. You are young, married and own your own home. That’s more than most young people I know. But then you have 8k in wedding and honeymoon debt! That is a huge amount and smacks of irresponsibility. And that doesn’t bode well.

Ah here - it's not hugely irresponsible to have debt from a wedding and honeymoon. They're overpaying the debt on a monthly basis.

OP spend your post wedding time together in the sack rather than going out and your finances will look fab in no time.

"A baby comes with bread in its arms" - I love this!

What on earth? Of course it’s irresponsible. It’s not a necessary debt, for buying a house. It’s pure self-indulgence. It doesn’t matter if they’re paying it off month by month. How long will paying off 8k take? That could have been their baby fund.

I guess we have different attitudes and that's OK. I think it's unkind to tell the OP that she was irresponsible to be in debt for a wedding and honeymoon because I think those things are important.

I was in a similar debt myself.

Pay down the debt and build a safety net first. You're only 29, you've got time to wait a year or so. You want a buffer for mat leave and childcare costs if you can. Despite the lovely sentiment of babies coming with bread in their arms, it isn't true.

You shouldn't have gone into debt for a wedding though, that was a bit silly. Especially if you're so keen for babies.

This was exactly my circumstances in terms of NHS banding.
I spread my mat pay over the 12 months. I was a little surprised as the pay fluctuated more than I expected (depending on when statutory mat pay kicked in), but I survived without using savings too much.

DP was NHS band 7 to help compare the household income.

I did use the child benefit when baby arrived to pay for some baby groups, batches of clothes as we needed bigger sizes etc.

We didn't own, but London rent was high.
I had a really nice mat leave. Not flush with cash, but certainly struggled less than I was expecting.

Good luck sweetheart.

It’ll all come round in no time, you know. It’s September next week - before you know it it’ll be Christmas.

Then it’s 2026 and you’re on a countdown. Exciting!

I know it’s the disciplined route rather than just diving in when you’re feeling broody and keen but you’ll really thank yourself when your finances are all all spick and span. Smug and ahead of the game.

Good luck with it all 😚 x

@RosesAndHellebores IS right though.

Starting a family when you are in debt isn't great.

Saying £8000 is "a small amount of debt" is disingenuous.
Saying you didn't spend a lot on your wedding can't be true if you are in debt to the tune of £8000.

Now - people have different attitudes to debt, but you started the thread, asking for people's thoughts about whether you should pay off the debt before TTC. You have to then accept that people will have opinions about it. There is no need to be so snippy with someone because their opinion is one you don't like (potentially touched a nerve??). Decisions on what you spend on something like a wedding should be taken in the context of what you are likely to earn and spend in the following years. I'm getting the impression you want to TTC now, so that would have been something to put into the equation when planning your wedding.

Plan to go back to work at nine months then you will have more per month instead of spreading over 12.
Be ok about buying second hand hand prams etc
You can make it work if you want to