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Original poster

I can't believe it - 34w pregnant and just got kicked out of the house by DH

76 replies

WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow · 29/08/2025 20:31

I am really not sure where to start. I am 34w pregnant with a vet much desired baby. Had to go to hospital today due to some health issues (took my laptop so I can continue working as anticipated long wait time). My DH was away for the last few days. And got back home around 6. I was still in hospital at this time. He was drunk and seems he was drinking for the last few days. All of a sudden got really angry at me and started sending abusive messages. I just ignored it. Got back home and he started shouting at me and telling me to get out of the house. And also told me he doesn't want the baby and never wanted it. Obviously I left the house so currently at a local hotel (with no toothbrush change of clothes etc) at least I have a charger from the car but that's it.

It seems like he had some sort of alcohol caused psychosis. He had similar thing happen in the past during very stressful period but that was a while back.

We talked few days ago and he confirmed he finds it stressful with baby's birth approaching but it's not an excuse.

What do I do now? I don't have any family I can go to. Most of the baby stuff is bought and in the house. House is under his name so as a short term solution I need to find temporary accomodation. And plan C-section on my own. I am not roos ure where do I start. Moving a house at 34weeks pregnant is far from ideal. I'm sure he will be apologetic tomorrow but the whole situation just doesn't fit into my head, I don't understand what has happened tonight.

What are my next steps? (I can financially support myself but I don't have anyone I can go for any sort of support, it's just me and now my unborn baby)

OP posts:
AncoraAmarena · 29/08/2025 21:50

@WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow, my ex husband did similar to me when I was about 34 weeks pregnant too.

If I had my time again, I would do what previous posters have said and rung the police to get him removed. Please look after yourself..

Octavia64 · 29/08/2025 21:56

In similar circs I was in a hotel for 5 days then fitted an Airbnb.

amazon deliver most stuff.

i was worried about being around him so negotiated access to the house and asked him to be out so i could get a suitcase worth of clothes. Failing that I recommend Primark. I pretty much had to buy a new load of clothes.

Thingyfanding · 29/08/2025 22:02

I feel compelled to tell you this as I have been in a very similar situation - my ex partner became abusive in the hospital when I had just had an emergency c section. He started to act up during the pregnancy but I kept ignoring and making excuses for him. He left us when my son was 2 weeks old with no support and I was living in a foreign country.

I think you need to consider that this is potentially the beginning of an abusive relationship that is likely to escalate. This is incredibly common when you are at your most vulnerable and about to give birth. It’s a common time for men to start becoming abusive. I would start making plans to have the baby as a solo parent.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
RichPetuniaAgain · 29/08/2025 22:05

Contact Women’s Aid if they are still going. They’ve been an amazing support to one of my family members in the past. They’ll definitely be able to offer valuable advice.

BettyBobble · 29/08/2025 22:07

You must contact women's aid and/or the national domestic violence helpline immediately. You'll also likely be flagged if you do so for children's services. They won't want him around you or your child but I'm sure you don't either. I'm sorry you have this going on

THISnewbeginning · 29/08/2025 22:15

What an awful situation op

How long did this last the last time it happened? Do you think he is a risk to himself?

He definitely doesn't sound like someone who should be around a newborn

coravantexel · 29/08/2025 22:18

You and your baby are entitled to be in the house. I think you should call the police and get them to accompany you to the house and see if they can remove him. If he is in a state of psychosis he needs medical care and you absolutely need to be in your home with all the things you will need for the baby. Do you have a friend to help you?

ByAgileLemonPoet · 29/08/2025 22:25

You can register your home rights and stay in the house but I wouldn’t if I were you. Get refuge with your local DA charity and be safe away from this vile man.

LittleElfEars · 29/08/2025 22:29

I think police sounds reasonable so they can at least help you get some belongings and you’ve registered it if he escalates. And they should ask him to leave.
Id also let your midwife know, they can help you with support and advice. Some trusts offer birth if partner support for people with no one and can help you with signposting

Anyahyacinth · 29/08/2025 22:33

WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow · 29/08/2025 20:31

I am really not sure where to start. I am 34w pregnant with a vet much desired baby. Had to go to hospital today due to some health issues (took my laptop so I can continue working as anticipated long wait time). My DH was away for the last few days. And got back home around 6. I was still in hospital at this time. He was drunk and seems he was drinking for the last few days. All of a sudden got really angry at me and started sending abusive messages. I just ignored it. Got back home and he started shouting at me and telling me to get out of the house. And also told me he doesn't want the baby and never wanted it. Obviously I left the house so currently at a local hotel (with no toothbrush change of clothes etc) at least I have a charger from the car but that's it.

It seems like he had some sort of alcohol caused psychosis. He had similar thing happen in the past during very stressful period but that was a while back.

We talked few days ago and he confirmed he finds it stressful with baby's birth approaching but it's not an excuse.

What do I do now? I don't have any family I can go to. Most of the baby stuff is bought and in the house. House is under his name so as a short term solution I need to find temporary accomodation. And plan C-section on my own. I am not roos ure where do I start. Moving a house at 34weeks pregnant is far from ideal. I'm sure he will be apologetic tomorrow but the whole situation just doesn't fit into my head, I don't understand what has happened tonight.

What are my next steps? (I can financially support myself but I don't have anyone I can go for any sort of support, it's just me and now my unborn baby)

I’m really sorry, he has shown who he is. There are no excuses. Protect yourself and keep your child away from this dangerous behaviour. Talk to people close to you, let them help you and rally support 🫂♥️

Lyocell · 29/08/2025 22:38

Just be aware it is common for abuse to start during pregnancy and continue. After giving birth with a newborn you will feel extremely vulnerable and worn down, and likely accept being treated in a way you probably wouldn’t before. Then it becomes normal. Be careful.

stress and alcohol are not an excuse.

Myfridgeiscool · 29/08/2025 22:44

Police, women's aid, divorce.
If it can be arranged to be safe to do so: access to the house for your things.
I.D. Certificates etc.
He's shown you who he is, you and your baby need to get away from him.
You're not alone, a whole army of women have been through this.

Ratafia · 29/08/2025 22:46

he confirmed he finds it stressful with baby's birth

Aaah, poor little flower. I feel so sorry for him, it must be utter hell for him having to cope with his wife going through major surgery.

Corfumanchu · 29/08/2025 22:48

How long have you been married. Did he own the house before you wed?

yellowbuzzybee · 29/08/2025 23:24

Block him and let him sweat and worry for the next few days. Call women’s aid.

BlackeyedSusan · 29/08/2025 23:40

Contact women's aid. Urgently.

You might need an occupation order(?)

JLou08 · 29/08/2025 23:45

If he is usually a reasonable man and actually does care for you and your baby I would call him tomorrow to talk about the situation. I'd be telling him it isn't safe for him to be around you right now and you and baby need a safe and stable home. Suggest that he moves out of the house and you change the locks for security and he gets mental health support and does not drink again. You should look for your own place in the mean time but realistically, you're unlikely to find somewhere suitable before baby is born. Let the midwives know what had happened.

mathanxiety · 29/08/2025 23:58

You need to call the police asap.

What he has done is 100% abuse.

THISnewbeginning · 30/08/2025 08:08

How are you this morning op?

Original poster
WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow · 30/08/2025 08:37

@THISnewbeginning - thanks for thinking about me. My battery went off (no working USB charger point on the room). Managed to get some sleep, had lovely breakfast and back in my room contemplating what to do next. Feeling much better and calm.

Will go pick up prescription from hospital and then will go home to assess what the situation is.

Obviously safety comes first. I think I need to smart about this. Get legal advice and look at some sort of accommodation arrangement sorted. As posters said, lots of women have gone through this. I can get this resolved

OP posts:
THISnewbeginning · 30/08/2025 08:42

Are you planning on going home alone? Is this safe? Will he be there?

Have you heard anything from him?

Aspanielstolemysanity · 30/08/2025 08:45

Speak to a family law solicitor

They helped me get a court order so I could live in the house with my two young children and 'D' H (now exH) had to leave. It was sorted in a couple of weeks, as you are pregnant it may well get sorted faster.

You might also want a non molestation order if his behaviour is very erratic

Original poster
WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow · 30/08/2025 12:19

@Aspanielstolemysanity - this is actually really good point. I haven't thought about it. Seems like family solicitor is overall a good place to start. Thank you

He's just in bed trying to cure his hangover and probably feeling depressed. Closed curtains and closed doors. His typical response when upset about life. Get drunk, blame me for everything and make his life even worse and then drinks himself to oblivion and stays in bed for ages. I always used to worry and tried helping him but at the moment I really don't care. I didn't react to neither the abusive texts nor email he's sent me yesterday night. Nevermind hurtful things about me, but he said he doesn't want the child and that's my problem. I'm more than happy to have this problem all to myself without his involvement.

OP posts:
Dabberlocks · 30/08/2025 12:27

The very second he starts any kind of abuse towards you, call the police. You are in a very vulnerable position right now. Keep your phone and your keys in your pocket, so you can either call for help or get out quick if you have to.

HolidayInCambodia25 · 30/08/2025 12:32

OP you must file a police report. A friend of mine suffered DV and didn't, as she was trying to be 'nice'. She now deeply regrets it because going through family court, it would really help to have it and affect how much custody he gets. He got a lot worse not better.

Although he hasn't touched you physically, I'd strongly recommend you log that report.

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