New boyfriend had slept with strippers

[Bluetueaday336]

Hi

Started dating someone lovely who told me they have slept with one stripper on a yearly boys trip (aged 40+) after a painful divorce years ago. Then this changed to two strippers well not strippers because technically they are prostitutes working in strip clubs. He said he still goes on these trips but he would not have any private dances if I was not happy with it and certainly would not cheat. The thing is I see private dancing as cheating because you can touch them so he says. So I said I wouldn’t be happy with him going to strip clubs at all which apparently is unrealistic because that’s where they all end up on these European trips. Then he said ok he wouldn’t go to them at. This is a new relationship and I’m feeling like it’s all a bit much and it’s given me the ick. I get he had a painful divorce and wanted sex without emotions totally understand that but it’s all made me feel a bit ick and made me feel like I can’t live up to these apparently stunning stripper/pros. Oh and I am very open minded sexually done most things and willing to try anything to keep my partner happy.

Thanks in advance xxx

1. Get yourself an STI test.
2. Dump him.

Here’s the thing though- he is putting the responsibility on you. He shouldn’t be saying “I wont go if you don’t want me too” he should recognize that going is bad for the relationship (due to his own behaviour) and there should be no question of him wanting to go.

I wouldn’t be with someone who would ever use prostituted women so that would be an absolute non-starter for me.

I just can’t imagine being able to feel aroused knowing I’d had to pay someone to want to have sex with me 😂 I find it laughable.

I’ve recently been to Amsterdam and witnessed a man trying to negotiate a prostitute down on giving him a blow job whilst his mates stood by giggling in broad daylight. It was beyond cringeworthy. It was bin collection day too and the sea gulls rip open all the rubbish bags…there were so many used condoms and shit-stained tissues. Beyond grim.

A holiday away with friends is fine, but this group are not going to change any time soon.

Putting aside the what's done in the past the flag for me would be him trying to say oh its just what happens on boys trips and then back peddling when challenged. It's a straight away obvious that he would go and not tell you.

Fwiw I have no issues with strip clubs but my DH when on boys trips ends up in a jazz bar instead as he says they are a waste of money and he's not interested. The last trip about half the group joined him in the jazz club 😂

Also, he goes on an annual lads hols but only went to the strip club after his divorce? <chinny> or only had sex with the stripper after his divorce?
He may in many ways be a "lovely guy" but however "open minded" you are I think you need to know he will continue to pay for sex and it's likely one of the reasons he's divorced.
does he have kids?

Also, the "ick" does not belong in a new relationship.