Does anyone else almost live a different life in their head?

[Wheelerdeeler]

I hope this doesn't make me sound unhinged but I do this sometimes. For context, I am a mid 40s married mother.

However, I spend part of my day living a completely different life. In my head.

At the moment, the fake life centers around a silly crush I have on a work colleague - 20 years my junior.

I imagine us getting together but I am 20 years younger, how it would happen, the way it would happen right through to us having twins!

I am happy in my own real life. Why do I do this? I know there is the crush element, it isn't serious and I would never do anything about it but I do laugh at myself. How ridiculous am I being like this? The poor guy is blissfully unaware that as he sits opposite me at a meeting I am planning our next date/holiday/child.

If it wasn't about him, I would still have this alternative life sometimes in my head. Different characters but there nearly always is something.

As I type I can see how mad this all is but am I alone? Do others do this?

I do this too. Only on and off, I'll fixated on one person for awhile then move on. I think it's fine. But maybe I'm just mad too.

All the time.
Well, off and on throughout my life, usually through out difficult/stressful periods.

I’m currently living a whole other life after struggling with a bereavement. I’m happier in my fantasy life, it means I don’t have to deal with reality. I think it’s maladaptive daydreaming, it’s just escapism I think.

Thank you both

It isn't something I would ever raise in real life.

Anyway, me and crush are going sea swimming later, then grabbing fish & chips and eating on beach as sun goes down.

I will not be collecting cranky children from childminder, juggling the dinner and housework and being woken up when DH comes in from work just after I have fallen asleep

I love this!

If it’s on a person it’s called limerence.

It’s just fantasising! I used to do it as a child imagine I was a princess and had swapped places so I was discovering my ordinary life for the first time . Not sure why I did it and no one knew I was doing it either. I was an only child though.

Daydreaming. Doesn't everyone?

Frequently, but I write novels for a living, so I monetised it.

Yes, I am constantly doing this. We are struggling with fertility and I’m constantly imaging our lives pregnant, with baby and then children. I pretend I’m a super organsied, successful, soccer mom with my shit together and a clean and tidy house! When in reality, I have an average job (that I enjoy), no children in sight and the housework is a bit neglected.

I love my fantasy world.

In my 'other' life, I have won the lottery and could give you a very detailed plan of everything I would do, who's getting gifts, who not etc :)

Of course.

In my other life, I'm a former super model making a Louis Theroux documentary series about the very ordinary life I've been leading since bowing out of the spotlight in the early-00s.

I've been somewhat forced into making the series because all sorts of rumours and speculations about me have resurfaced after one of my celebrity ex-boyfriends died. I want to set the record straight so I'm making the documentary but its clear I'm slightly resentful at doing it.

Oh, I'm also broad Glaswegian because my pieces to camera look and sound better that way.

By pieces to camera, I mean me staring out of my kitchen window and slagging off the tabloid culture of the 1900s as though I known anything about it

Three out of four of us in my family do this. For me I think it was actually maladaptive daydreaming during my childhood. But it’s not that now. I have a happy life, though stressful at times. I love the parts of my day where I’m living another life in my head. It brings me so much comfort and enrichment somehow.

Of course, how do you even tidy a house without the imaginary film crew popping around in an hour?

I’ve always done this. I’m definitely prettier and wealthier than I am irl and slimmer too. I have a fairly high powered job and a house with mullioned windows and a pool and a holiday home somewhere abroad.
None of which I have at all!

Oh absolutely yes! I have done this ever since being a young child. The fantasies have grown up and aged with me!

God, yes! When I'm not self-generating fake life content - in which I am still a fit and healthy, youngish woman with a wonderful social life, travelling and spending my millions on trust funds to help women/children in various specific ways, granting very occasional interviews and gracefully receiving awards - I'm watching Netflix dramas or reading other lives. I am one enormous fiction in my head

I used to have sex/romance daydreams, but they're rare nowadays. Nice when they happen, though: I'm surprised to discover I actually remember what great sex feels like, after so long with zero real-life action!

Yup, I have to drag myself out of it sometimes.

Yes, all the time as a child and when I learned about maladaptive daydreaming it absolutely fit.

Now not as much, it tends to be something I just do in bed as I’m drifting off to sleep, or else it’s when I’m walking anywhere with my headphones in and music playing.

Couple of scenarios I alternate, all quite cringeworthy if I was to describe them - it’s usually based of a crush of some kind but of a fictional person/ character who I then tweak until I get the daydreaming version that suits me! But also I’m generally younger, fitter, and have taken different paths in life from the ones I did in reality - I don’t really bring anyone from my real life into it either, apart from occasionally if it devolves into a revenge thing against one particular ex but that’s very rare these days as I don’t really care enough to sully my lovely daydreams anymore.

I have been told in therapy that daydreaming is very common, but if it's all consuming and takes over your focus then it could be a sign of something wrong. Apparently it's common for the daydreams to get out of control in people with autism, ADHD or childhood trauma.

A little fantasy is good for the soul so I never stop myself until it starts distracting me from the things that need doing.

I have never done this! But it sounds so much fun!

Doesn’t it make you really unhappy with your reality? I think it would me. Although I get it is unhappiness with reality that causes it, so maybe a vicious circle?

All.The.Time- drives me nuts sometimes

Not a crush but living somewhere in the mountains where I mountain bike, hike and kayak all summer and snowboard all winter.

I guess mine is more a secret hope for the future. When I was growing up I had zero ambition or drive to do anything other than just exist, looking back I realise this was because I thought I couldn’t achieve anything, was stupid and should be grateful for the minimum of what I had.
Spoiler alert….. I wasn’t stupid and once I realised I could achieve more than I thought, the ambition and drive came hard ( albeit in my late 30’s) I think I am catching up on lost time and for the first time in my life imagining a different way of life that I thought was inaccessible to me.

It’s not just mountain life, I also dream of being in a more executive position at work, the travel that would bring, the people I would meet, the outfits I would wear!!

Whenever I hear a song I like, I create a little fantasy where I wrote it and picture myself performing it to a crowd. Today I singlehandedly wrote wonderwall and wowed the world

I love this. You’re all mental.

whatever gets you though the day.

Yep same here. I would love to go drinking with guy garvey from elbow and have a really good snog!!😂😂