Hyped-up activities that are actually shite.

[DarkestBerty]

Loads of my friends do yoga. It's really relaxing, they say. It's really mindful, they say. It's a good workout without realising you're working out, they say. It's a really nice community of people, they say.

So on Saturday morning I tried it.

It was bloody awful. Everything about it was bloody terrible. It wasn't remotely relaxing or mindful. I wasn't a very good workout and the people were cult-loke lunatics.

And I've felt a bit lightheaded, dizzy, and just not quite myself ever since.

Tell me about activities that everyone seems to have a wide-on for, but which you hated.

I wanted to join a book club a few year’s ago and was told no one actually talks about the books. So I didn’t join but I can still feel the disappointment of finding out it was just a natter/gossip club.

Surely you just stop going? Tell them you can't make it anymore due to other commitments.

That's ridiculous, though. That's one book club, and you've accepted what you were told by a third party on hearsay. Either go along for a session and talk about the book and see how it is yourself, or find another book club! I go to two different ones locally, on and off, depending on whether I am interested in the book that month, and they are very differently run affairs, with completely different atmospheres, book choices etc. (Both run by bookshops, and the conversation is entirely about the books. Maybe look for one run by a bookshop or library.)

The right yoga class can be all of the things which they said it could be, but you need to find the right one. Given that there are so many styles of yoga, you can’t realistically have assessed yoga beyond not liking the class you went to on one occassion.

Having said that I much prefer pilates, although I didn’t really like the first class I went to, but as it was convenient, I tried it the following week and went for years until covid stopped the classes. I met someone there who has become a very good friend.

They all know I have no 'other commitments' 😬

Dates are decided very collaboratively and democratically. I can't be busy every single night for the next twenty years can I?

It's not a group run by a library or a book shop or a group. It's just a bunch of women, no formal organiser as such.

I agree about Christmas markets. 200 sheds selling clutter I don't need, and that my friends and family don't really want as presents. And it means that our nearest city is unbearably crowded during December.

Yoga is utter shite for most people

YABU

That is awkward! Could you meet at the pub and get pissed?

Oh fuckity-fuck yes!
I'm freelance and get invited, coaxed, nagged, and occasionally instructed to attend
I tell the boss I charge for my time, not for what I do, so as long as they are prepared to pay ... and funnily enough, my presence is no longer required
Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to tell these people that they are not my friends, and I will have forgotten who they are ten minutes into my next project

Completely agree
And I cannot sew

> I know...I'm going straight to hell...
... where you'll be in good company of anyone with a brain

Boats. Doing anything on a boat. Why? Everything is small and cramped, even on a yacht. Everything is moving. Hardly any shade unless you hide in the bunker-style inside part. It's like a floating caravan. Awful. Even super yachts have the impression of a collection of very fancy garden furniture and a hot tub on some shiny plastic and wood. I don't get it!

Tapas. Select the food you'd like to eat so you can give half or more of it away to other people and eat something you didn't order. Not fun and not dinner.

And yes to sudoku. It's like torture. continuously repeating 1-9 to yourself. Gives me a headache just imagining it.

I dream of having the confidence to give an answer like that. My annoying stereotypical British reserve prevents me doing so!

Well, I agree boats themselves are totally uninteresting, like cars, but you can get to places on them that you can't get to by land, so I'll take an hour of crampedness and movingness to get out to an island I've always wanted to land on, but which is inaccessible without a boat.

Pumpkin picking

I genuinely don't get this. Either just say 'None of those dates work for me, but the rest of you go ahead' and just drift out gradually, or be upfront and say 'This isn't working for me any more -- either the book choices or the fact that we ended up talking about someone's engagement ring for an hour rather than The Man Without Qualities, so I won't be attending any more. Very best wishes to you all.'

Sudoku. I left maths behind me at GCSE. I can assure you I'm not going to do it as a leisure activity.
I failed maths O Level (yes, l'm that old) three times. Ungraded.
But l'm actually good at Sudoku. That's not 'maths' as we did it.

One thing l can't bear is 'journalling'. I've tried several times, and it makes me so stressed!

As I once said to my mate when he offered to bring his guitar to our BBQ, 'No thanks, we have plenty of things to burn" 😂
I've been out with two musicians who were very good guitarists. One was very well known. And not once did either of them ever offer or try to take their guitars to anywhere but a gig or a studio.
It's usually the ones who have an inflated idea of their own ability who want to bring it to other events!

Journalling. I think I’ve now managed to shut off the notifications on the app I somehow turned on. Yesterday it notified me to ‘write about your afternoon visit to McDonalds.’ Er, no, you’re alright.

Anything done for Instagram or other social media likes. Until recently this has been mostly centred on Christmas - light trails, ice skating, markets etc - but now it’s creeping into other things like Easter egg hunts and pumpkin picking*. All inevitably hyped up to milk people of their money. If you have a good one that you go to then fine but I know families who plan all these things with military precision just to “build memories” every year. Your kid is more likely to have a positive memory if you just do something nice that suits your family rather than rushing them around to everything so you can put it on social media to compete. I went to a light trail last year and it was two hours of wandering round a soggy garden in the cold rain looking at trees with fairy lights.

I’ll go back into my grumpy hermit hole now 😉

*I make a small exception for our local garden centre which is next to the railway line. I pass it on the way to work and watching the pumpkins start to appear is a lovely sign on oncoming autumn.

I said I was journalling my trip to France. I started off very enthusiastic but I'm now just writing where we've stayed and if I'd return to campsite and/or place. It's too time consuming.

Musicals

There is always a line or two of dialogue that you know is leading straight to another bloody song.

A - Have you ever been to Kansas City?

B - No I've never been to Kansas City!

Both - Hey, you know what we should do?

Both (suddenly singing!) - Oh lets all go to Kansas City ....

Brick TV interface ensues

Food sharing at restaurant I hate it

I can't stand reality tv either, and my very beautiful, intelligent, 33 year old DD informed me the other week that she has applied to go on Married At First Sight UK! I am very much hoping that she doesn't get through, or that if she does, her employer won't let her take time off work (you have to be available for 13 weeks apparently). I don't know if she has told her DB yet, but neither of us like the limelight, so we will not be happy if we get any media attention as a result of her taking part.

@SoScarletItWas £25 is a bargain where I am. I still love an afternoon tea though.