So apparently I'm having 18 people for a lunch party on Monday.

[Womblealongwithme]

DH and I were supposed to be at a party 3 weeks ago and unfortunately, I came down with a sickness bug so DH went on his own.

He has just reminded me about the bank holiday party we're having on Monday and asked what I needed him to do for it. Except I wasn't at the party and knew nothing about said party. DH is the loveliest, kindest man on the planet and was diagnosed with ADHD about 10 years ago, which means that sometimes, he has conversations with me in his head, that don't quite make it to me! (Like inviting all and sundry to said bank holiday party!) So, dear readers, I need ideas from you lot quickly. We don't have a barbecue so I have my fridge and an oven and not a lot of kitchen space.

Add to that, that most of tomorrow will be taken up with various sporting activities for DS and DD so I don't have a whole lot of time, pretty much Monday morning only! Oh and it needs to cater for vegetarian and coeliac guests. Help!

Disclaimer - DH will absolutely be involved in prep and feel awful that he has sprung this on me!

agree it's a bit non-traditional, and wouldn't use them on their own or its more like a flapjack topping.. I make a great GF crumble with equal parts GF flour, oats, ground almonds and add some mixed seeds for extra nutrition. And use brown sugar.

I am a well-brought-up, polite guest, and I am generally very grateful to be fed, but I would seriously struggle to set my face if I were served jacket potatoes or soup on August Bank Holiday in 27° heat. Hopefully OP and DH are buying a cold buffet in Costco.

Mezze is great for gatherings, and you can buy so much of it ready-made too. Most supermarkets stock humous, tzatziki and taramasalata, feta cheese, olives, plus stuffed vine leaves, flat breads etc. Lidl often have cans of Greek mezze dishes too. There are lots of recipe bloggers out there, like A Kitchen in Istanbul, for inspiration.

This, 100%. I can’t see why catering this party he has planned is your responsibility? Let him do the running around, or cancel it.

Actually it is striking how many have just ignored the main reason why op is even in this position. The fact op doesn’t sound bothered leads me to think this isn’t the first time of the last.

The ‘kindest, loveliest’ man in my view would never ever behave like this. I think people are right to call it out. Boiling frogs and all that. My dh certainly would not throw a lunch party of eighteen without asking me, I am amazed anyone would put up with this tbh!

25 max in London tomorrow. Where are they?

Perfect soup weather then

No idea where OP is but it will widely reach 27° across the Midlands and East England tomorrow.

😂

Pot luck. Everyone needs to bring something with them.

Personally I would do a buffet of:

• Coronation chicken - easy as you can serve it cold
• Rice and selection of salads
• Veggie/vegan would be vegetable curry.
• Pudding: Eton Mess as you can get away with shop bought meringue.
• Vegan chocolate brownies

So the whole meal is gluten free.

This is your opinion from the chair of your home without knowing the OP at all. Playing psychologist is unfortunately one of the problems in MN even when the OP keeps repeating she doesn't have a marital problem.

My DH and I (neither of us with ADHD) have often invited a group of close friends (8-10 people) on a Thursday for the following weekend without checking with each other. We've been married 40 years, love our friends and most importantly, know each other and our budget. We can easily organise a big party within 2 days without a problem, and jump at the chance of doing so.

Not everybody live the same lives or function in the same way, specially when a poster is simply asking for short notice lunch party ideas.

As a vegetarian I would not enjoy a curry in boiling heat at lunch time.

8 is very different to 18!

It’s hardly sweltering, it’s not even 30. I don’t see why people can’t eat soup..

I would do a cold buffet but that’s because I’m lazy.

Because, when you live in a ND household, things look a bit different and there's nothing wrong with that.

And people's relationships are not the same. Some people are more easy going than others.

Some people thrive on chaos and others on order.

Some people don't assume that another person's 'mistake' is a personal attack against them.

The OP asked for food suggestions and hasn't expressed any anger towards her husband. She's quite happy to roll with it, to host a party and to see their friends.

It's all good.

It doesn’t have to be a hot curry, could be more like a cool coconut korma.

Only in terms of numbers though. The effort of hosting isn't really any different.

No really. It's more food and a bigger budget. That's all.

I almost certainly have ADHD and until I learnt not to, I've impulsively invited people to gatherings which I've later regretted.

However I've never followed it up by dropping it on my spouse with 2 days notice that he's to take the lead with planning, organising, shopping, cooking etc. That's always been on me with detailed spreadsheets of lists and timings.

I still think the OP is making a rod for her own back by putting up with this, even when she does want the party to happen.

Read the OP’s updates

Agreed, the husband isn't the one on Mumsnet asking for help on what to serve. He's probably not worried at all.

I would leave him to it and make plans to be out relaxing that day. No way would I be spending my bank holiday fussing over lunch for people that I didn't even know were coming.

They're her friends too, though. Not his work colleagues or random people he approached in the street.

Presumably, she would like to see them too? She said she's looking forward to it but was caught a bit off guard by the short notice.

They've gone shopping for food together.

And she probably posted on MN because she thought she'd get some good suggestions or at least an idea of what other people would want. You have absolutely no idea what he is doing.

I'm glad I'm not in one of these relationships when my partner seeks to humiliate, punish and berate me if I make a mistake!

They're her friends too, though. Not his work colleagues or random people he approached in the street.

Which makes it all the more strange that not a single one of the OP's 18 friends has contacted her in the last 3 weeks, to ask if the lunch party is still going ahead, or if they should bring anything.

It would be a bit odd if the invite was for 8 friends and no-one contacted her, but not even 1 friend out of 18 is bizarre.

If her DH is this unreliable, I'd be more worried that the 'conversation he had in his head', was actually with them.

Hope you really enjoy it. You sound refreshingly positive. Any confirmations yet? Keep us posted. Side note - unless you're buying ingredients to self-prep, I hope none of your guests are old miseries like me who endure a lot of functions and have learnt to practice hiding our 'Oh dear, Costco groundhog platter' face when that moment of instant recognition hits.

Not necessarily, If DH and I invite friends for lunch, a couple of weeks ahead or the following weekend, they accept or don't, on the spot. If someone is unsure what they have on, they'll confirm as soon as they can.

Most friends won't re-confirm if they said yes to attending.