Not me and not my choice so in this case I will not be ignoring their wishes at all.
Mil has had a stroke. Yesterday told dh not to come up until he knew more. Mil has got worse over night. Dh won't go up unless he's cleared it with his dad. But he will go regardless of wishes at some point if things get much worse. At what point, I don't know as we hoping for the best right now.
Just wondering where it comes a point where you say "look dad, mums not going to be bouncing fit next week I want to see her with my own eyes"
If it was my mum in hospital I'd go straight away whatever she said. Things are not looking fantastic but not hideous either. Right now. Would only go against wishes if it was utterly bleak? Or respect wishes at all costs? If it was your parent and you was on good terms?
A previous relative we have done this for and didn't see them at all as was their wish. But you don't get closer than sibling, parent, child.
It's very much all being said because they don't want to put dh out. Not because he isn't welcome. His dad is totally burnt out by the sound of things.
Had this with gran. We was only asked to go once she had lost consciousness and on EOL pathway.