DH keeps making mortgage overpyamentd ton reduce the term

[Redratefree]

We have a take home of £4k and a £1.9k mortgage. DH keeps making overpayments to the term of the mortgage, it was 27 years but it's been reduced to 25.25 years due to overpayments. However, I want him to reduce our monthly payments as this will give us more breathing space. He disagrees and wants to continue to reduce the term because it offers more flexibility when remortgaging. I received 2 emails from the bank this weekend for 2 overpayments of £500 and then one for £50, as soon as he gets paid he'll make an overpayment.

Your husband is the pragmatic one here.
I think that his is the best option and I did the same when I overpaid and eventually paid off my mortgage.

I agree with your husband also, but my opinion is really not relevant…

The main challenge is that the two of you are not aligned on budgeting and how to spend money and it seems struggling to have a constructive discussion. You seem frustrated to be dismissed, but not sure how in depth this conflict goes.

My only advice is to keep talking and maybe do a few sessions with a councilor if money has become a point of contention.

I agree

I agree with your husband also, but my opinion is really not relevant…

The main challenge is that the two of you are not aligned on budgeting and how to spend money and it seems struggling to have a constructive discussion. You seem frustrated to be dismissed, but not sure how in depth this conflict goes.

My only advice is to keep talking and maybe do a few sessions with a councilor if money has become a point of contention.

Overpaying is a good idea - you can save tens of thousands easily over the term by paying as quickly as you can / it’s one of the key things that have set me up for retirement. Never mind easier to get better rates

but living in less than 2k a month once mortgage is paid may be a poor balance between now and your future

You need to do a full budget to show what you are missing out on by the overpayments - what do you feel you miss out on and you need to agree priorities

I was always happy to forgo coffees out and spending much in beauty and the like to facilitate the paying off , but I always had some money for a nice holiday or two every year

ok nice for me was a cottage for a week in the peaks or a camping trip / but that’s personal and that’s something you need to discuss between you

edit to add - eg if you agree a nicer car is important set up a separate saving pot for that so at least he can see you are saving and spending wisely

No. I always think you have to enjoy your life.

My parents were like your husband. They scarified so much to have a glorious retirement. My Mum died 6 months before she retired. My Dad has lots of money but is very lonely.

He worked abroad for nearly my entire life and missed at least half of it. The money is not worth it.

Good on him. Sensible.

We did what you wanted to do in our late 40s and reduced our monthly payments which felt good. However we have still been overpaying on those for the last 5/6 years and effectively paid off what we would have paid with the higher amount and more. Psychologically it feels great to get a lower monthly payment rate though and helped us both feel under less pressure.

I don't care how financially sensible an action it is. It's a one-sided decision by him without discussion, regard for you or any compromise.
My ex did this when married. Suddenly decided to put more into his pension without any discussion. Despite leaving me to manage bills, savings etc for a decade. I wept buckets and everyone just bleated about the benefits and couldn't see my point.
With hindsight that was the first indication that our marriage has shifted. That I wasn't seen as equal. It all went slowly pearshaped after that.
I'll say to you what I wish I'd said to myself then. Demand counselling right now. You need help to explain this is bigger than long term savings. It's about respect and discussing. You don't have the right to lay down the law, nor does he. Save your marriage before it's too late.

My understanding is that if the interest rate on the mortgage is more than what you can get in a savings account (currently about 3.6% for most savings accounts), then you should over-pay.
If your mortgage interest rate is loads lower, then you should put that money into a high interest savings account instead.
Most mortgage interest rates issued in the last year or so are around 4-5%, in which case, over paying is the more sensible option.

This needs to be a joint decision and also depends on how old you are. Im 100% with you. You only get one life and you need experiences and to live your life now. Its completely a balance. Plus your mortgage is already huge.

Also depends on how he wants to live when it is paid off...

I am financially prudent but there needs to be a balance between preent and future needs (though I wouldn't prioritise a nicer car or nicer clothes - it is experiences that give the most value). Also, make sure you aren't sacrificing pensions for mortagage repayments - pensions investments need length of time in market to really work out.

To really succeed financially (and in marriage), a married couple must do financial planning and make financial decisions together. Dave Ramsay is good on this subject (and about financial priorities).

Totally different.

IME, if you get ill, you will be bloody glad you saved money and paid off debts when you could.

Being unable to work (whether partly or fully) in your 50s is made much easier if you own your home outright and have some pensions / savings to draw on.

What are your pensions like? The money may well be working harder for you in a pension fund which will get topped up by getting the tax back on your contributions back. Or a lifetime ISA.

They only have 2k left for everything after mortgage! That’s very tight, they surely couldn’t be spending on school fees.

OP didn’t mention she was starving in her OP. In fact she’s since said she wanted to spend it on cars and clothes - neither of which are more sensible or a higher priority that overpaying the mortgage to me and many others.

What are all of you saving the money for? If it is bigger house you aren't saving money you've prioritised more living space and a more valuable asset to pass to kids eventually - so a form of saving - which is a valid choice.

Where I am in SE became clear that bigger house wasn't really viable so I stopped overpayments about 10 years ago and extended mortgage to have more cash available now.. But it does depend on full circs - I have civil service pension so don't need it for pension and I am an older parent and possibly homeowner (didn't buy til in my 30s) so I'd rather have good family holidays and days out now.

Pension and possibly inheritance from boomer parents should be enough to clear balance before term.

We have 2 kids.

Life should be for living. Not just working to pay the mortgage. Otherwise what’s the point? You may as well be some lobotomised drone sorting widgets and just eating sleeping and waking up and doing the same again. Yes there are benefits of overpaying your mortgage if you can afford it, but not at the expense of living a good life with a few treats along the way.

No school fees. That is a dream that vanished a long long time ago

How much do you have in savings? Are you able to add to your savings each month? On the face of it your husband is saving the family 1000s of pounds on your mortgage but this only works if you have a contingency for when things go wrong

We took out a 35yr mortgage 10 years ago, we've overpaid as much as possible, remortgaged reducing the term, keeping the monthly payment the same or increasing as out earnings have improved.

6 years left. Tens-of-thousands of £s saved and we should be mortgage free by the time the younger kids get to univeristy.

My view is that if it is a joint mortgage then whether to make overpayments should be a joint decision. You need to sit down and agree priorities together, it is not just for your DH to decide.