DH keeps making mortgage overpyamentd ton reduce the term

[Redratefree]

We have a take home of £4k and a £1.9k mortgage. DH keeps making overpayments to the term of the mortgage, it was 27 years but it's been reduced to 25.25 years due to overpayments. However, I want him to reduce our monthly payments as this will give us more breathing space. He disagrees and wants to continue to reduce the term because it offers more flexibility when remortgaging. I received 2 emails from the bank this weekend for 2 overpayments of £500 and then one for £50, as soon as he gets paid he'll make an overpayment.

It should be a joint decision. It sounds like he does it as soon as he gets paid because he knows if he doesnt you'll spend the money on clothes.

Time for some hard talking about how this is financially controlling of him but also some soul searching from you on why clothes matter so much to you. Perhaps you agree a clothing budget and you take that out of a joint account before he makes any repayments.

It is a very sensible thing to do if you can afford to do so because when you need to remortgage you'll get a better rate with more equity. And if your income drops through illness or for any other reason you can always extend your mortgage or possibly have an interest only mortgage for a short time and have more chance of keeping your home.

Agree with this

Obviously because the money is going to the bank & isn't available to be spent on things she needs/wants to buy.

@Redratefree

you might be right, the household might need more money to live, he might be right-- you don't ' paying extra off the mortgage is better but there's also the middle ground of keeping your payments the same & making fewer overpayments.

BUT the problem here is you aren't discussing it & coming to an agreement. Is he totally controlling over money? Are you earning? Do you have children?

and to repeat what others have said has he looked into how much you can overpay before you get hit with penalties?

We've reduced our term from a start point of 25 years down to 16 (so far) doing this, will be mortgage free in our early 40's as a result.
That said, your mortgage is very high in proportion to your income so I can see why it's making things feel tight. I'd still be prioritising overpayments rather than clothes and a new car if the ones you have are still functional though.

Look for a compromise between your differing life goals. I would really hate it if my DH said he wanted nicer clothes and a nicer car instead of paying off a mortgage. For me, these are not equal things. But if my DH was saddened by not having nicer clothes and cars then I would want to give some way towards this.

And like others, we've reduced out term so much, and it's a factor in my being able to retire early and live better.

Couldn't you set a budget together and have a set amount of money for clothes and a fund towards a new car sweep automatically into separate savings pots. No one needs new clothes every month.

Given that your mortgage is already 47% of take home pay with another increase of £550 that takes it to 61%, I can see why you’re not happy and things are tight . I imagine once bills and food are accounted for there isn’t a lot left for fun / clothes / spontaneity outings . There needs to be some compromise and also remembering that life is for living not always planning forward .

It's not really a bit though, it could be tens of thousands saved, and he's already taken 2 years off the mortgage, there'll be more.

In principle I'm with the DH, but the additional payments should be discussed and agreed in advance.

I think there is probably a balance to be had between a bit more fun money and what your husband is putting into the mortgage. He is probably worried about the high mortgage vs income (it’s basically half of your income and personally that seems like a lot) and wants to reduce future payments when remortgaging. Is there any chance of increasing your income in the near future? Otherwise a conversation with him to agree on let’s say £300 in overpayment and £200 in fun money (I say fun but you allocate it how you like it of course). But I can definitely see where he is coming from.

Generally, it's better to overpay the mortgage than buy "stuff", obviously.

But you do need to live in the present a little bit, while you still have your health and all that. So it sort of depends on how bad it is. Are you, say, going around with holes in your shoes because you can't afford another pair? Is the car breaking down all the time or not big enough for your family and the overpayment is stopping you replacing it? Things like that.

Maybe some compromise about the amount over paid but generally if you can overpay early in a mortgage it pays off long term, unless you secured a very low interest mortgage rate and would be better off saving in ISAs instead.

I don't know how old you are or if you have kids, but we are late 40s with not much mortgage left, if need be we can pay a small amount each month which means we have money to help our teenage dc with tutors for exams, driving lessons and uni costs. Kids don't get cheaper as they get older in our experience. Money was very tight when they were young but they never remember this.

Living ?

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

Use this budget planner to work out your finances. Overpayment is a great idea, if you can afford it, but it sounds like you can’t, or not the amount he’s putting in. Plus he’s making the decision unilaterally, without discussing it with you.

Team DH here, and why we paid off a 25 year mortgage in 17 years. He’s a keeper.

Making mortgage overpayment is one of the best things I ever did. However, you and your husband should be on the same page and if you can’t bring your self to his way of thinking he needs to bring his a bit closer to yours. Maybe you can find a middle point?

Also does his life experience contribute to this? My DH family nearly lost a house through repossession in the 90s, hes always had a bit of a thing about securing a house, owning a house lock stock and barrel for his immediate family

OP a few q’s:

• do you have kids?
• how much are other bills? And food/petrol?
• is he trying to do this because you’re at a high ltv and to get you under the next bracket for remortgage as well? .e.g. is he trying to get you from 85%ltv to 75% or something for a better rate?

Overpaying in itself is great but it depends how much other things are being sacrificed and I do agree that it sounds like there can’t be much wiggle room given that your mortgage is 50% of your take home before overpayments.

I would pay to see an independent financial advisor together for some objective advice. He shouldn’t be unilaterally making decisions like this. Overpaying the mortgage is generally considered sensible, but you should also consider pensions and what savings you can lay your hands on in an emergency.

It seems you have fundamentally different philosophies around spending. That is assuming that he isn’t splurging on the things he cares about - top of the range golf clubs etc. How can you work through this?

Maybe you just need a proper adult discussion about your long term plan. Over paying is sensible, but maybe you could agree by how much, and for how long you plan to overpay. Are you planning on upsizing?

I think the problem is for you it isn’t spare money it is money you feel you need to spend on this and actually live

He is obsessed with paying it off

tbh given your mortgage is set at 50% of you income paying off seems to be a luxury you can’t really afford

do you have any form of savings slush fund for repairs etc? An agreed savings for things that would be nice to have and then put the rest to overpaying the actual spare part

but surely it needs to be an agreed discussion not just him overpaying?

He’s sensible to do this

This is what we do. Would that help OP? Save and see what you have by the end of the year?

God that sounds miserable. I’d rather have nice hols and weekends away, meals out, days out. Esp if you have kids … they grow up so quickly.

Also you never know when your health might deteriorate. Life is for living and enjoying it while you can.

We cut our term from 25 years to 8 years by repaying £100 here, £200 there when we had the money. We wouldn't have been able to move to a larger house without doing that. Yes, there's a balance, but it's well worth doing.