Tell me your stories of entitlement

[Spidey66]

We’re in the US ATM . We flew London to Seattle so a long flight. We paid extra for premium economy seats, and got good seats.

just before take off, our (front) row were approached by a mother with a new baby (looked like only 3-4 months or so) asking for someone to swap because she had a baby. To cut a long story short, she didn’t get it and stormed off in a huff. Turned out she was actually in economy and wanted a premium seat without premium cost and was wanting one of us to pay premium price and sit in economy! Isn’t that the height of entitlement!!! She thought we should bow down to the fact she had a baby!

I love hearing stories of entitlement. Tell me yours.

This is completely correct. Thanks to the glut of services/soup kitchens in most cities, a lot of homeless people aren't actually in need of food. Randomly handing a homeless person a burger and chips is not necessarily what they need or want. If you wouldn't be grateful if someone just handed you a burger and chips, don't expect a homeless person to be.

This reminds me of the time when my parents invited me, DH and some friends of theirs to a restaurant to celebrate my dad’s birthday.

My dad didn’t finish his steak and chips, so the lady from the other couple took out a Tupperware box and packed the leftovers. My dad said ‘good idea to take the steak for your dog’. But the lady replied ‘it’s not for the dog. Our (teenage) son will eat it’. We were all speechless 😄

These were very well off people. They owned a successful business and several properties. The lady in particular is also very kind, but I suppose this is a quirk of hers.

So utterly awful.
I had a similar but literally indescribably awful experience. My sincere sympathies to you.

I was taught to touch-type back in the early 80s, and putting the full stop (and two spaces after it - also contentious) is hard-wired in by now - but language and usage do change, so I accept I am just a dinosaur. I'll carry on as I was taught, but wouldn't dream of correcting someone doing it differently.

Juniperberry55 · Today 09:57

Urgh what a horrible person. I've paid for people's shopping in the past, only a small amount of money when their card wasn't working or a couple of kids trying to buy some snacks and presumably either didn't have the money in their account or bank problems, whatever, offered to pay, kid or person thanked me and smiled and the cashier smiled at me when they started serving me, everyone quite happy. That's how it should be.
Some people just can't see a nice thing happening to someone else without seeing it as a kindness not happening to them. I'm sorry that cashier was so rude, you did a nice thing for another person and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about it

Oh, I felt shocked, but I didn't feel bad. I just thought "What a poisonous, mean spirited person."

Well he didn't have to accept it, he could have said no thank you.
In regards to the juice not being hot and that's why he would want a coffee, well the burger and chips would have been hot
People are frequently told not to give money to homeless people because it might be a gang using them to get money or funding drug habits and they should either give money to a homeless charity or provide food or other useful items instead
Either way the pp was trying to be kind and doesn't deserve to be shat on.

We used to know somebody who I don't think was a deliberate schemer, but who just didn't 'get' boundaries. She would have gladly reciprocated, had she been in a position to do so, except that she made a lot of ongoing life choices which meant that she didn't actually have anything to offer in that respect that anybody else would want to share!

We had two friends in our extended friendship group who were getting married. We'd been at university together, but had since moved far and wide across the country.

All of the rest of us had planned and booked accommodation in the area where the wedding was being held long in advance - and had shared details of our research and where we were staying with this friend, so she could book a room for herself if she wanted to. However, she scoffed at what a waste of money and a needlessly 'soft' option this was and booked herself and her DC a pitch in a nearby farm campsite for a number of nights, to make the most of it - which was almost deserted as the summer had long passed.

As you could probably have anticipated, the driving rain and wind on a remote exposed hillside in Scotland in autumn did not make for a luxury camping experience, and she had (very understandably) had more than enough after the first night.

No bother, you live and learn; time to look for a B&B or similar with a vacancy as close as possible. Except no! The day of the wedding arrived and she realised that the cosy little lodge that the happy couple had booked for themselves for their honeymoon, staying in the same beautiful area for two weeks afterwards, had a small lounge alongside the bedroom that could also - at a push - be slept in with a camping mat and sleeping bag!

Yes, she actually asked if she and her young DC could take over half of a newlywed couple's honeymoon suite on their wedding night (and, I'm guessing, for most of their remaining time there afterwards too)!! In fact, knowing her, I wouldn't have put it past her to complain about her bad back and maybe suggest that she and her DC have the bed and the newlyweds sleep on a camp bed in the lounge instead!

She was most upset, with her (as usual) sob story at the ready, when they politely declined her request and suggested that she make alternative arrangements!

you be delighted to know mine goes into the dishwasher along with the rest of my delph and cutlery every eve 😂along with the car bowl - my animals eat out of clean bowls every time

I can well believe this. A friend nannied for an Irish billionaire and his ME wife. She was one of three nannies employed, around the clock, each working an 8 hour shift. The night shift was sitting next to the cot bed, solely watching the toddler sleep. The toddler also had their own maid (who cleaned and did laundry) and chef.

I'm not sure whether that cancellation was in the same category as mine so the process might be different. But I was told to just start a court case once you've been through arguing, supplying receipts and the ADR (Aviation Dispute Resolution) process. It's very easy and you can add the fee (£35 or thereabouts) to your claim. Apparently Ryanair never actually go to court and pay up to avoid having CCJs or something on their record.

But it isn't kind to randomly hand people food and expect them to be grateful. Assuming you know what someone needs (whether that person is homeless or not) isn't being kind. Having good intentions doesn't automatically put you in the right.

Also, every campaign I've seen has encouraged people to donate to charities instead of giving cash to individuals - I've never seen a homelessness campaign that encourages giving random food (without asking what someone needs) instead of money.

In all fairness a lot of the sinks in pubs are so small that it is impossible to avoid touching the sink while you wash your hands. I have sometimes wiped the sink with a paper towel before washing my hands.

Sometimes I also wash the door handles, if I have to touch them to exit the loo.

The person was acting out of kindness. I would also assume a homeless person would appreciate a hot meal and a drink.

But if you say all that’s sorted nowadays I’ll walk on by.

He didn't have to be grateful if he didn't want it, he could have said no thank you. He didn't have to complain at her for choosing the wrong drink. If he refused and said no thank you, then pp would be unreasonable to have taken offence but if someone tried to give something to me to be kind, I wouldn't complain at them if they chose incorrectly

I completely agree with you, it's not a mistake I would make but I do believe it was a genuine mistake at my dp's 30th because I witnessed the moment they realised and it was hilarious. Possibly they didn't know that you could have a private party in a pub?

In fairness to the other poster, I have never seen any of these campaigns, @MinPinSins, and I don't think it is the worst thing in the world if someone who doesn't know how best to help a homeless person does the most obvious thing and buys them some food. I understand that it is not the right thing to do, but it was done out of kind motives, and that isn't the worst thing in the world, imo. Trying to help but getting it wrong because you don't know what to do for the best is better than doing nothing, isn't it?

Yes - and they also believe EVERYTHING is for sale and can be bought.

Dh has a relative that him and wife are rulers of entitlement. The family just rolls their eyes and says "oh that's just them" and let them get away with it, so you can see why they still do it.

Our dc are much older than their dc. Bearing in mind that the 14 years we had dc before they did they never offered to take them out for a day/babysit/anything else. I doubt I'd have even wanted them to, but it's relevant for these:

When their baby was small I got a call 8am informing saying wife was sick, could I take the baby. I said fine, drop off. No he wanted me to drive 45 minutes pick up his baby and then get the dc to school about an hour late. No. Then I said I needed him to pick his dc up by 5 because I'd been asked to help at the local brownies that week as their leader had had an operation. He told me they'd have to cancel brownies as he wasn't going to.
At that point I said I couldn't look after him and put the phone down.
He tried phoning the next day at 8am...

My dc often liked to stay on a individual basis with pil, and have a week there. He decided it would be a good idea if this was the week he was staying so they "could have a lovely time looking after their cousin". Yep that's just what my dc want to do with their 1 on 1 time with grandparents, babysit cousin for free.

A couple of years down the line but announced it would be a really good idea if we agreed to share babysitting. Dh fell about laughing and pointed out that, our dc were now old enough they wouldn't need babsitting, if we did, then there were half a dozen people we could ask, we did not want to travel 45 minutes in the evening for babysitting. Bil said "but no one near us will babysit". Can't imagine why!!

One Christmas he made a thing that he's bought them a surprise day out (yes, we were meant to go too). His presents, if he bothered ( but always expected them himself) were normally rubbish so we were sceptical. Turned out it was something his dc wanted to do, much to young for my dc, and he wanted to sit around while my dc looked after them. And it was clear when we went in that he'd got a complementary set of tickets for a trial rather than he'd paid for it too.

I'd have told them they should have bought the kids books at the airport

Actually, I know some people who did this in the UK. They went to a pub on a Saturday for lunch, were told the food was out the back. Went out, saw the buffet and helped themselves. They thought the pub just did a buffet lunch so didn't query it. And then the bridal party turned up...

Because of Covid, some people legally challenged Ryanair to refund for flights they couldn’t take and Ryanair had to pay them. Ryanair then blocked these people from booking with them again.

I think it was a nice thing to do but she may not have realised how it could be seen as dehumanising to decide what someone should eat rather han asking them.
Most Homeless people want to be treated as people with preferences and/or given some agency over what they eat and drink
The idea that they just be grateful for anything is a bit uncomfortable for me

We once sat next to someone in the theatre who talked throughout the first half, disturbing people sitting around them. When challenged on this during the interval, she said she was explaining the plot of the show to her daughter (sitting next to her) as the daughter didn't know it and needed to understand what was going on. This woman didn't seem to see the problem with ruining everyone else's experience of the show. (We couldn't believe what we were hearing. The selfish entitlement of some people is off the scale. 😱)

I've read this whole thread and thoroughly enjoyed my jaw dropping at the CF stories, I wonder how many more I could've enjoyed had the spelling pedants and dog lovers/haters hadn't totally derailed it, sigh.

You may be being facetious, I'm not sure, but that is absolutely correct, unless you're living somewhere super rural, there will be many food provision services and most homeless people don't need random food/drink.

Obviously there are exceptions, like if the person is newly homeless and doesn't know where to go, but the idea that a homeless person must be in need of a hot meal and drink is pretty outdated.