Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Dangerous driving....fucking terrified about my actions

60 replies

chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:26

I am still shaking....picked up my DD this evening from a friends house and lots of horrible windy roads that I'm not too familiar with. Came out onto a road with a very narrow bit that leads onto a dual carriageway. There were at least 2 other cars behind me on this very narrow stretch of road. I must have completely misjudged distances but pulled out onto the road thinking all ok, and a lorry was behind me beeping his horn super loud. I quickly sped up. Was absolutely horrible and obv driver of lorry was fuming at me (rightfully so!).

I just feel absolutely sick about what they could do next and what the repercussions could be. No excuses but I strongly believe my dd has ADHD and Autism and she can be an utter nightmare in the car at times (constantly talking, but also likes to tell me about my driving too - tells me to go, when it's safe to go, that I've gone the wrong way when I haven't (it's just not the way she wanted to go). I've realised this has been a constant source of stress when she's in the car and a constant undermining of my driving - I've been a driver for over 20+ years, no claims, accidents or penalties. But tonight I think she was talking about the cars etc, and I misjudged and pulled out too soon.

So, what is likely to happen next? - Fine, points, a ban, prison?! 😰

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 14/08/2025 22:27

Did you speed through a camera?

If not then literally nothing will happen x

saraclara · 14/08/2025 22:28

What's likely to happen? Nothing.

Your action didn't result in an accident, and the lorry driver would have forgotten about it within two minutes.

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 14/08/2025 22:28

Why are you thinking you've done something that's requiring a custodial sentence?

Sunshineandrainbow · 14/08/2025 22:30

Keep calm nothing will happen.

I have had close calls while driving and I learn from them.

Please don't worry

Radiowaawaa · 14/08/2025 22:30

Strange that you are thinking about the legal implications rather than the safety aspect.

awakeandasleep · 14/08/2025 22:30

Nothing will happen OP that pretty much happens to everyone at some point.

Original poster
chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:30

I'm just thinking the lorry driver may have had a camera or evidence of what I did. I very nearly caused a serious accident which I feel absolutely sick about.

There were no cameras (in terms of speed cameras - I wasn't speeding) I just joined a dual carriageway but pulled out too soon in front of a lorry.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 14/08/2025 22:32

Nothing op... you made an error of judgement and yes, almost caused a collision but it sounds like genuine error. As long as noone actually crashed and noone was hurt then it's just a scary near miss that you'll learn from. I've done similar before when overly tired and it gave me a good scare and I'm more cautious now as a result but no follow up needed as noone was hurt in any way.

Are you prone to anxiety?

Notmyreality · 14/08/2025 22:32

Eh? Why would anything happen?
You sure you’ve been driving for 20 years?

saraclara · 14/08/2025 22:32

Are you neurodiverse too, OP? Because you have this totally out of proportion, and your expectations of what could happen now are entirely illogical.

We've all done things like that, and it's terrifying. In my case I pulled out in front of a car when I had my precious little grandchildren in the back. I stressed about what 'could have' happened, accident-wise, for a couple of weeks. But I knew that the outcome of what did happen, wasn't going to be a fine or points or prison.

Original poster
chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:33

I can be a little anxious yes.

OP posts:
Seeline · 14/08/2025 22:33

In future, if your DD wants a lift she needs to shut up.
Sit her in the back or make her wear headphones or something.
If she can't be quiet then she'll have to rely on the bus.

GrooveArmada · 14/08/2025 22:33

Nothing will happen OP. You're ruminating because the incident frightened you.

Glad all ended up OK. Have a relaxing night and going forward try to make sure your daughter is distracted with something else and keeps herself occupied in the car (I know easier said than done). Sympathy - my DS is normally good in the car and often sleeps on long journeys, but sometimes can have an extremely stressful tantrum and there's nothing that can be done about it, it isn't always safe to just stop and wait an hour for him to calm down if we're relatively close to home especially. I hate this and try to be extra careful and go slower if he's distracting me.

DuchessDandelion · 14/08/2025 22:33

Ah it's horrid when you have a fright like this.

You're ok though - there wasn't an accident.
Other drivers don't always leave room for people joining from slip roads and to an extent they need to, its not always easy to judge the speed & distance adequately.

BUT nothing happened! You got shouted at by a man in a van. OK, a very big van, but that's it!

GrooveArmada · 14/08/2025 22:35

Also it could well be the case the lorry driver was going too fast from what you're describing, I think that more likely than you completely missing a lorry being so close to the junction.

Original poster
chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:35

@saraclara yes, I think I have ADHD too which I'm getting accessed for soon (not sure about Autism). You just hear about these things don't you. Drivers with cameras in their cars which can pick up things.

OP posts:
Testerical · 14/08/2025 22:35

Nothing will happen.

You’ve had a shock that’s all.

Driving is just very dangerous, there is no getting away from it.

But with your daughter, depending on her age, it may be time for a “can it, please” conversation. Kids who chew your ear off can be very distracting but no child below about 14 should feel their opinion on their parents’ driving is something to be acknowledged (unless you’re a drunk or terrible driver…) I’d just shut that down completely in future with “that’s enough. I need to concentrate. Responding to you means I can’t keep us safe” sort of thing.

ThingsgetbetterwithalittlebitofRazzmatazz · 14/08/2025 22:38

In all likelihood nothing will happen. There's a small chance the other driver may have a camera and may decide to submit the recording to the police - this happened to a friend when she pulled in front of another car at a junction. She had to do a course, so no points or fine, just the course to pay for and half a day of her time.

Original poster
chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:39

Seeline · 14/08/2025 22:33

In future, if your DD wants a lift she needs to shut up.
Sit her in the back or make her wear headphones or something.
If she can't be quiet then she'll have to rely on the bus.

Yes, I was very cross with her tonight. I told her no more telling me about driving related things, although she can talk calmly if she must. I don't want to come across as nasty with her as I see her struggles. Even when we stopped off at a shop though and I was reversing back, she was like 'oooh' thinking I was too close to another car - I was miles away from it 😏

OP posts:
Anonyone1 · 14/08/2025 22:40

I had to do a driver awareness course recently (for driving at 35mph in a 30 zone) and what I took from it is that every driver needs to be aware of the risks around them. The lorry driver should have anticipated a car pulling out and should have been driving at a speed which wouldn’t mean he needed to slam on his brakes when you pulled out. And the car horn is for making people aware you’re there, not to ‘tell someone off’. So whilst you made a mistake, the other driver could’ve been driving more safely as well. The main thing is, you didn’t cause an accident. Don’t beat yourself up.

Trovindia · 14/08/2025 22:40

Seeline · 14/08/2025 22:33

In future, if your DD wants a lift she needs to shut up.
Sit her in the back or make her wear headphones or something.
If she can't be quiet then she'll have to rely on the bus.

This. I'm autistic with Nd kids and one of them talks incessantly in the car which I find incredibly offputting at times and I've told him firmly he is to shut up when I'm driving, and I will shout at him to make him be quiet if necessary. Safety is paramount and I need to be able to concentrate.

DeepPanCrispAndEven · 14/08/2025 22:41

Do you honestly think that people go to prison for pulling out in front of someone?

Spendysis · 14/08/2025 22:42

Nothing will happen but hopefully you have learnt from it. Lorries take a lot longer to slow down than cars and out of the 2 vehicles you would have come off a lot worse if he went into the back of you. Forget about it now I am sure the other driver will have

Original poster
chickennidiot · 14/08/2025 22:43

@DeepPanCrispAndEven - that was a bit of joke to be honest. No, I don't think that.

OP posts:
saraclara · 14/08/2025 22:43

If he had a camera, the only time he'd use it is if there's been an accident. He'll come across drivers making errors all the time. He drives for his job. He's not going to waste time reporting people for careless actions that have no real consequences

Swipe left for the next trending thread