Dangerous driving....fucking terrified about my actions

[chickennidiot]

I am still shaking....picked up my DD this evening from a friends house and lots of horrible windy roads that I'm not too familiar with. Came out onto a road with a very narrow bit that leads onto a dual carriageway. There were at least 2 other cars behind me on this very narrow stretch of road. I must have completely misjudged distances but pulled out onto the road thinking all ok, and a lorry was behind me beeping his horn super loud. I quickly sped up. Was absolutely horrible and obv driver of lorry was fuming at me (rightfully so!).

I just feel absolutely sick about what they could do next and what the repercussions could be. No excuses but I strongly believe my dd has ADHD and Autism and she can be an utter nightmare in the car at times (constantly talking, but also likes to tell me about my driving too - tells me to go, when it's safe to go, that I've gone the wrong way when I haven't (it's just not the way she wanted to go). I've realised this has been a constant source of stress when she's in the car and a constant undermining of my driving - I've been a driver for over 20+ years, no claims, accidents or penalties. But tonight I think she was talking about the cars etc, and I misjudged and pulled out too soon.

So, what is likely to happen next? - Fine, points, a ban, prison?! 😰

I live next door to a support centre for young adults with autism, and once heard a support worker firmly tell one of the clients 'I will take driving advice from you, once you have passed your own driving test'.

Something to keep in mind with your DD?

If my brother and I distracted my mum when she was driving (usually by arguing) she'd just pull over and refuse to go any further. I'd try that if the talk doesn't work @chickennidiot .

Why would you go to prison for pulling out at the wrong time by accident and not causing any accidents? People don’t even go to prison for drink driving in a lot of cases.

Yeah 99% of big trucks do have dash cams, usually put in by the company, I assume.

Worst that could happen is that your man was so annoyed he reports it and sends the police the footage. They’d look at it (his speed would be visible on the camera so they’d see your rough speed too) and either do nothing, or do you for careless driving. Would depend if they decided your driving fell far short of the expected standard.

£100 and points, usually.

Lorry driver could have slowed slightly as he knew there was a side/slip road with fast-moving joining traffic. When I’m on a DC and I know people are joining with limited opportunities to make their move I come out or slow down just in case this very thing happens. It’s defensive driving. Aggressively honking wasn’t going to prevent a collision, slowing down would have been more effective.

You misjudged the distance. There wasn’t a crash. It’s fine.

About your DD, I appreciate it may be easier said than done, but does she actually know how to drive? If not, and actually, even if so, maybe she needs to realise that going on and on at the person who’s actually in control of the vehicle can be unhelpful and in some cases, lead to hasty decisions - and accidents. Only one person can drive a car at a time.

Please ask your DD to sit in the back from now on. Multiple PPs have said this. No reason for her to engage in your driving.

@chickennidiot not on The Black Isle by any chance. We have a slip road like that very near us. Far too short to join a duel carriageway where traffic is often doing more than seventy, with poor visibility to the right due to grass banks. I won’t drive it in the dark now. Ironically, this road layout was built to prevent traffic crossing the duel carriageway at what was an accident black spot.

These things happen . I’m glad you and your daughter are both ok.

You have to fully concentrate and not allow your daughter or any other passenger or drivers to distract you. Never feel pressured by idiots driving up your rear.

I wonder though if maybe the road needs better markings to make it clearer that drivers are joining a dual carriageway? Might be worth thinking about and asking the relevant council/highways.

It’s understandable that this shook you up.

@Threeboystwocatsandadog - it was a slip road in Wales. I actually found a Facebook page last night where people had been complaining about the same piece of road - and saying how dangerous it was and how people try to avoid it etc. I've been thinking about writing to the council about it - although I doubt they would do anything ?

Lorries absolutely cannot stop in a shorter distance than cars. Where are you getting that from?