If one of your children was a fussy eater and is now grown up…..

[PenelopeSkye]

…or indeed, if you were a fussy eater as a child, would you be able to share how things panned out? Was there anything that helped or didn’t help?

I have been struggling for about 5 years now with DD, who is now 8. Sometimes I think- just stick with the no pressure, offering different things etc and she’ll get there- but at other times I think- she is missing out on so much good nutrition, I need to do more! But then, I really don’t know what, as if I did I do it!! She has 2 younger siblings who eat a good variety of food, and as a family we eat healthily overall (with treats thrown in), and I don’t make a big deal of her eating. But she’s just dropped another ‘safe’ food and I’m wondering if I should maybe seek some professional help. Any thoughts much appreciated!

I think fussy eating is at least partly hereditary. DH was very fussy as a child and is still quite picky. Our two older DDs were very fussy as children, much less so now as adults. One of my DGDs is also very fussy. I think it’s best to be laid back about it if you can. My two younger DCs ate pretty much anything from an early age because tbh with 4 under 9 I just plonked the food in front of them and let them get on . Or not. Youngest DD is severely autistic but luckily a good eater.

Becoming a teenage boy... a teen boy into fitness and workouts even. Honestly, he was so ravenous, he started to eat huge more variety, hunger wins after all. 17yo DS actually had something with SAUCE on it recently. I know this because DS told me because he thought it was a big deal that he had something with sauce on it too. Not ketchup either, I hasten to add.

My brother was a typical fussy eater growing up. As an adult they're the total opposite- complete foodie.
Just left them to it.

OP if this is any reassurance my younger brother was an extremely fussy eater as a child. I was the opposite- I ate everything (curry, paella, goulash, spag bol, roast, etc). My Mum was an amazing cook and went to town with it as she hosted language students, so plenty on offer.

All my brother ate was weetabix, milk, marmite sandwich, crisps, bacon, scrambled egg, meat, unhealthy foods. He refused to eat any type of potato except chips, no fruit or veg. Nothing at all interestingly flavoured. It used to worry my Mum so much. She gave him a daily vitamin and build up milkshakes. He ate dinner separately and earlier to the rest of the family for years.

As he got older, he naturally started to eat more foods. From his twenties he’s been what I’d actually describe as an adventurous eater. He’s now the same as me, loves seafood, curries, Thai, vegetables…he will literally try anything and loves eating out.

I hope this is of some reassurance that these things can change and improve with time 😊

I have a theory…it’s that children are often super sensitive to taste and texture as a safety measure, perhaps so they didn’t risk eating anything dangerous back in the day when we were wandering around foraging for things. Then many grow out of it as they get older and their brain develops enough for them to be “safe” judging new things for themselves.

this isn’t based on anything scientific except looking at my friends, many of whom were extremely fussy eaters, and realising they all grew out of it around uni age. It makes me not stress about my own child’s eating, as long as they are getting at least one of the food groups each day in some kind of capacity

My younger sister was an extraordinarily fussy eater. In fact, she was really very fussy until she became a young adult. I can't remember when exactly. But at some point she just decided she had to eat a wider range of things for social reasons and just trained herself gradually to eat more and more. She's still a vegetarian, and I don't think she's great on very spicy things, but beyond that she eats pretty much everything I think.

Some of my kids were very fussy eaters. One didn’t like pizza, chips or cake which meant he went hungry at a lot of his friends birthday parties. They all ate healthily (just about) but they liked to stick to similar food. They’ve all grown up to be a little fussy but nothing that causes any issues. I don’t think other people would notice they are still a little bit fussy. They all cook and eat healthily. I don’t give it any thought anymore.

My sibling was an incredibly fussy eater from being a toddler, apparently. They would eat one thing for weeks on end, and then never touch it again. They are quite obsessive in general. As a teen, they got obsessed with health and fitness, so it was then YEARS of nothing but chicken, rice and a bit of broccoli.

Now grown up, my sibling is inflicting a restricted diet on their child and step-child. I hope that their other parent counter-balances this!

I grew up in Ireland and was fed a meat and potato diet. I sat at the table in misery for hours every evening as I hated meat, potatoes, and boiled veg. I wasn’t allowed to leave the table. I would’ve happily eaten pasta or something every day.

mid forties now and I still hate that food. I eat a Mediterranean or Asian diet and have done all my adult life. I love food. Just not that food.

This is really interesting, I had loads of chest/ear infections as a child but never connected it to my fussy eating, but makes sense.

Anyway, OP, best way to deal with it is no pressure. When I was a bit older than right, maybe secondary age, I remember being concerned about nutrition but just really couldn't deal with textures, so was happy to have eg a pasta tomato sauce with things pureed up in.

I was gently encouraged to expand my horizons in my twenties, and now I'm the least fussy person I know. I can't think of anything I wouldn't at least try, and I've got no strong dislikes.

So for me, it lasted the whole of childhood which is the bad news, but the good news is that it wasn't for life, and I'm very healthy now and love vegetables etc.

I was a very fussy eater until about 12 (existed largely on bread and butter, chicken, cooked carrots and fromage frais (but only vanilla and strawberry)). And then, at 12, had a bit of an epiphany on a holiday in France and since then there is nothing I won’t eat (I do have things I prefer not to). As a child I can remember gagging at the smell of cooked eggs, let alone the actual taste.

DD Is now technically an adult, and her safe foods have evolved over time from greige to healthier but still quite limited food choices. We tend to go in cycles, basically - lots of eating the same foods for a few months and then an evolution to something new. She is currently waiting for ND assessments but likely to be diagnosed as her dad is ND, as are other members of the extended family.

DS is much less fussy and willing to give most things a go. Even if he doesn’t like something he won’t complain and will just leave it. It’s just a personality difference. He may or may not be neurodiverse also, but he is more affable and less strident.

im now firmly of the belief that food fussiness is inborn, not learned. DS came out willing to shove anything in his gob, DD would sweep unfamiliar foods away with her hand from 6-7 months. Spoons were a complete no go, she knocked them out of my hand.

Not my child but my cousin. Would only eat toast, toasted on one side, pasties from the chippy, chips, sausages, bread and butter and spring rolls.
He's now a mid 50s man wuth a family who pretty much still eats the same.
He had a plate of chips at my wedding.
His wife is a vegan and God only knows what their daughters eat.

I pretty much only ate peanut butter sandwiches and milk for about five years. Have been thinking about this a lot with my own daughter who is much less fussy but still quite resistant to new stuff. Disgusting school
dinners and being almost forced to eat them did not help me. Starting to cook for myself in my teens and then going to uni was the time of change. Now a massive foodie and eat anything. I feel reassured re. my daughter when I think back to this.

I was a fussy eater. I’ve mostly grown out of it but there are still a few things I won’t eat. There are things I say I don’t like but I’ve never tried I just don’t like the look or smell so don’t feel I need to try them to know I won’t like the taste. I still don’t like food touching on my plate. I won’t eat something if it’s touched something I don’t like so I can’t just pick out the bits I don’t like (I know I sound like a 5 year old) I’ve tried it before and it’s made me gag.
Its not due to my parents letting me get away with being fussy, I remember more than one meal time turning into a war zone and me sitting at the table having a stand off with my dad over whether or not I was going to eat courgette.

I was very very fussy as a kid. Undiagnosed autism. These days I’m just a bit picky.

I have a friend whose daughter only ate dry cereal for breakfast, dry bread for lunch and sausages and chips covered in vinegar, every single day. One day when she was 15 her mum was eating a chicken burger, her daughter says oh that looks nice can I have a bite. She took a bite and loved it. She then started eating everything and anything!

When I left home for uni I would only eat plain pasta, plain chicken breast cooked and eaten with ketchup, I never liked soups or stews, anything with tomato, mushrooms, no cheese, I would eat a roast dinner, but anything that was unfamiliar was off the menu. Through hanging out with different people and then coming into contact with more food/ doing my own cooking and actually finding out what went into everything and that it wasn’t as weird and scary as I had imagined, I now pretty much eat everything, apart from seafood, still hate seafood. I hadn’t eaten an egg until I was 20! Now I would say my families weekly dinner menu is more varied than most, today we had halloumi, peaches, green beans with homemade sunflower seed pesto, tomorrow it’s black bean tacos with mushrooms and halloumi, and today I had sweet potato, kale and eggs cooked in ghee and garlic (yum!). My eldest is fussy just like I was but I’m confident she will eat a wider variety of foods as she gets older. Although I encourage her to try things I never force and she slowly does try new things and occasionally likes them, like pine nuts today! And also I’ve been encouraging her to try more sweet stuff like crumble and custard and that’s also been a hit, so I’ve been buying expensive custard with real cream and eggs as that’s loads of nutrition.

1970s and I was fussy, but very bland, meat two veg diet and made to sit and eat. Now eat a wide range, just certain textures I avoid eg egg white.
1990s my DC, no fussiness at all, yes, likes and dislikes but that was it. I was determined food wouldn't be a hill to die on. No pressure but limited options. I wasn't a restaurant.

I was that child. Had a list of safe foods and basically lived on air and one bread roll a day when on holiday. Was a classic late diagnosed autism girl, for me it was sensory issues around food and the anxiety of new foods.
Slowly started to be open to change around 12-13 and now eat a good variety and will happily give most things a go

My Ds whonis now 13 is a lot more adventurous than before. He has to try everything that is new and it is ok it it is just the tip of the tongue! He has found out that some things are nice!
also playdates have been great because he will eat something different- he once tried a ham and cheese sandwich that was so good apparently i had to ask the mum for the brand of bread and ham. Since then he has developed a little addiction to sansdwiches and paninis! At lunch we went out (holidays by the sea) and he had one whelk (sea snail) to try and ordered some skate (fish) with butter and capers and some steamed veg. He still loves chicken nuggets but he can appreciate other things! Keep trying, dont stress.
i was a super fussy eater - i eat everything now, i think i kept trying and seeing food being served and little by little (during my late teenage years) i started appreciating food more.

My completely neurotypical eldest DS was a total nightmare eater. I vividly remember, when he was about 7, begging him to tell me 5 things he would eat which weren’t plain pasta with cheese or sausages and chips, and he couldn’t. His ASD ADHD sister copied him although ate anything when he wasn’t around.

he’s now early 20’svajd eats everything. He is a brilliant cook, very adventurous, the only thing he is indifferent to is a spag Bol so can’t complain.

I was a picky eater as a child - it was a combination of being a super taster (even a tiny bit of spice was overwhelming), being 'expected' to eat food I didn't really like including fatty meat (chops and faggots), and a lot of pressure (e.g threats not to take me on holiday etc).

I grew out of it as soon as I had some autonomy and I now eat a wide variety of foods (I used to pick o ion out of bolognese, now eat raw onion almost every day in the summer!).

One thing that interested me - my son is a lot like I was as a child and I asked my mum if anything she did had had a noticeable impact on my diet. It was a resounding 'no' and in retrospect I think my mum regretted making it such a battle ground for so much of my childhood.

I wonder bexUse we worry and push so much it becomes a war of attrition
I have to negotiate all the time ,eg have blah and you can have ice seems
However one thing they are both really good at is home made veg juice with a small dip bowl showing some harribo , as the incentive

This way I can get carrot ,beetroot
Celery ,peppers and all sorts on but it's labour intensive I aim for two a week. I also supplement the fereflobon iron drink , a tea spoon every few days

Another one who was a fussy child, mostly due to textures. Now like most foods and love some of the ones I struggled with as a child.